[lit-ideas] Re: English PubLic Schools

  • From: Paul Stone <pas@xxxxxxxx>
  • To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Thu, 16 Feb 2006 13:59:34 -0500


The other has to do with your general comments on spanking. Like Julie, I never spanked my kids. Maybe I just had easy kids (look at their inheritance, eh?) but the merest hint of disapproval was enough for them. Never had to ground anyone. I don't remember even ever sending them to their rooms.

I never got spanked by my parents that I remember and I remember pretty far back. It wasn't that they didn't believe in spanking, it was just that I was an angel when at home because I realized I had to live with these people and they were literally my lifeline. I think it was because my parents were the number one people in my life and I felt I HAD to be good for them. I don't think my parents would have hesitated to spank me if their raising their voice hadn't worked. You know, there are some real nutjobs who think that you shouldn't even raise your voice, let alone yell at your kids.


When I went out in the world and dealt with "others" was when I ran into trouble. And lesson by lesson, I learned how NOT to piss other people off. It started when I got reprimanded in nursery school for refusing to play a game because it was 'childish' (my word). In kindergarten, I organized a boycott sit-in where I encouraged all the other 'boys' to object by peaceful demonstration (sitting and not talking and not responding to teacher) to a toy removal. I learned the word "ringleader" that day. Slowly I began to see that school wasn't about learning readin, ritin and rithmetic, it was about learning to be a social being -- something that homeschooled students SORELY lack.

It went on and on from there and I continued to be steadfastly defiant to things that I objected to. But from repeated reprimands, yelling, and general adult scoldings over the years, I learned how to be a little bit more diplomatic in my objections. What this amounted to was changing a "you must be fucking nuts if you think I'm going to do THAT" to a "i don't really agree with that and I think I'll quietly remove myself from this activity." It's all in the WAY you refuse I guess.

still believing in the THREAT of a good spanking,
P

##########
Paul Stone
pas@xxxxxxxx
Kingsville, ON, Canada


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