Re: Parody: "I Am a Total Devotee of Leica M Photography"

Hahaha! Brilliant!

Feli

On May 28, 2004, at 9:03 PM, Peter Klein wrote:

"I Am A Total Devotee of Leica M Photography"
Copyright (c) 2004 Peter A. Klein
Sung to the tune of "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General"
Apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan

- - - - -
Scene:  A photographic gathering in a posh metropolitan hotel.  The
Master Amateur is holding forth on the glories of Leica.  He is dressed
in a battered old raincoat and a French beret. In his hand is a
battered M3 covered with black tape.  He is surrounded by a chorus of
paunchy middle-aged men, each wearing an enormous autofocus SLR with
zoom lens.  The lenses bounce on their bellies when they sing.
- - - - -

(MASTER AMATEUR)
I am a total devotee of Leica M photography.
I will not buy a digicam, I won't do videography.
I read the work of Lager with his product list canonical.
I'll never use a plastic lens with focus ultrasonical.

I look at other cameras with an attitude that's whimsical.
I do not want an SLR with viewing pentaprimsical.
The look of glass from Asia makes me squint my eyes and squirm a knee.
I'd rather get my lenses from a little town in Germany.

(CHORUS)
He'd rather get his lenses from a little town in Germany.
He'd rather get his lenses from a little town in Germany.
He'd rather get his lenses from a little town in Germa-Germa-ny.

(MASTER AMATEUR)
I will never put my camera on a tripod that is teetering.
I cannot understand the need for modern matrix metering.
Look back upon my history, it's all in my biography:
I am a total devotee of Leica M photography.

(CHORUS)
Look back upon his history, it's all in his biography:
He is a total devotee of Leica M photography.


(MASTER AMATEUR)
I love my Leica cameras with passion that's tyrannical
A rangefinder, a floating frame, and everything mechanical.
The shutter curtain's rubberized, and fashioned from the finest silk.
The lenses have a bokeh that is smooth as summer buttermilk.

My fifty f-two Summicron takes landscapes that are lyrical.
I pierce the gloomy shadows with my Summilux aspherical.
I must have Leica quality although it costs me lots o' bucks.
I bought a ninety APO, I'm saving for a Noctilux.

He bought a ninety APO, he's saving for a Noctilux.
He bought a ninety APO, he's saving for a Noctilux.
He bought a ninety APO, he's saving for a Nocti-Nocti-lux.

I develop all my Tri-X film in acid that's ascorbical.
I try to make my photos have a reference metaphorbical.
And so throughout my history, you'll find in my biography:
I am a total devotee of Leica M photography.

(CHORUS)
And so throughout his history, we find in his biography:
He is a total devotee of Leica M photography.


(MASTER AMATEUR)
I want to be like Eisenstadt and Smith and Frank and HCB.
I take my Christmas photos in a style that's documentary.
I never shoot at weathered rocks and twisted trees and gnats and logs.
There's universal pathos in my pictures of my cats and dogs.

I lurk in bars and coffeshops, and stalk the streets with Delphic glee.
To shoot unwary passers-by with Leica mounted pelvically.
But when I spy a plant that has a lovely flower's bloom upon.
I take a dazzling close-up with my dual-ranging Summicron.

(CHORUS)
He takes a dazzling close-up with his dual-ranging Summicron.
He takes a dazzling close-up with his dual-ranging Summicron.
He takes a dazzling close-up with his dual-ranging Summi-Summi-cron.

(MASTER AMATEUR)
And although I've tried the other brands they always are inferior.
They can't resolve the fuzz upon a baby's bare posterior.
That's why throughout my history, you'll find in my biography:
I am a total devotee of Leica M photography.

(CHORUS)
That's why throughout his history, you'll find in his biography:
He is a total devotee of Leica M photography.

------------
--Peter Klein
Seattle, WA


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_______________________________________________________
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety
deserve neither liberty nor safety. -Benjamin Franklin

feli2@xxxxxxxxxxxxx



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