Re: Parody: "I Am a Total Devotee of Leica M Photography"

Peter Klein showed: an unknown talent!! :-)
Subject: Parody: "I Am a Total Devotee of Leica M Photography"

Peter,
Wonderful, wonderful! :-) Now you'll have to complete the Leica User opera
built around the streets of Paris! :-) Or Seattle.  After all, the TV
programme "Frasier" was based in Seattle. :-) Why not an opera?

I can see this being preformed at the next Leica Historical Society of
America's annual meeting dinner . :-)

ted

> "I Am A Total Devotee of Leica M Photography"
> Copyright (c) 2004 Peter A. Klein
> Sung to the tune of "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General"
> Apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan
>
> - - - - -
> Scene:  A photographic gathering in a posh metropolitan hotel.  The
> Master Amateur is holding forth on the glories of Leica.  He is dressed
> in a battered old raincoat and a French beret. In his hand is a
> battered M3 covered with black tape.  He is surrounded by a chorus of
> paunchy middle-aged men, each wearing an enormous autofocus SLR with
> zoom lens.  The lenses bounce on their bellies when they sing.
> - - - - -
>
> (MASTER AMATEUR)
> I am a total devotee of Leica M photography.
> I will not buy a digicam, I won't do videography.
> I read the work of Lager with his product list canonical.
> I'll never use a plastic lens with focus ultrasonical.
>
> I look at other cameras with an attitude that's whimsical.
> I do not want an SLR with viewing pentaprimsical.
> The look of glass from Asia makes me squint my eyes and squirm a knee.
> I'd rather get my lenses from a little town in Germany.
>
> (CHORUS)
> He'd rather get his lenses from a little town in Germany.
> He'd rather get his lenses from a little town in Germany.
> He'd rather get his lenses from a little town in Germa-Germa-ny.
>
> (MASTER AMATEUR)
> I will never put my camera on a tripod that is teetering.
> I cannot understand the need for modern matrix metering.
> Look back upon my history, it's all in my biography:
> I am a total devotee of Leica M photography.
>
> (CHORUS)
> Look back upon his history, it's all in his biography:
> He is a total devotee of Leica M photography.
>
>
> (MASTER AMATEUR)
> I love my Leica cameras with passion that's tyrannical
> A rangefinder, a floating frame, and everything mechanical.
> The shutter curtain's rubberized, and fashioned from the finest silk.
> The lenses have a bokeh that is smooth as summer buttermilk.
>
> My fifty f-two Summicron takes landscapes that are lyrical.
> I pierce the gloomy shadows with my Summilux aspherical.
> I must have Leica quality although it costs me lots o' bucks.
> I bought a ninety APO, I'm saving for a Noctilux.
>
> He bought a ninety APO, he's saving for a Noctilux.
> He bought a ninety APO, he's saving for a Noctilux.
> He bought a ninety APO, he's saving for a Nocti-Nocti-lux.
>
> I develop all my Tri-X film in acid that's ascorbical.
> I try to make my photos have a reference metaphorbical.
> And so throughout my history, you'll find in my biography:
> I am a total devotee of Leica M photography.
>
> (CHORUS)
> And so throughout his history, we find in his biography:
> He is a total devotee of Leica M photography.
>
>
> (MASTER AMATEUR)
> I want to be like Eisenstadt and Smith and Frank and HCB.
> I take my Christmas photos in a style that's documentary.
> I never shoot at weathered rocks and twisted trees and gnats and logs.
> There's universal pathos in my pictures of my cats and dogs.
>
> I lurk in bars and coffeshops, and stalk the streets with Delphic glee.
> To shoot unwary passers-by with Leica mounted pelvically.
> But when I spy a plant that has a lovely flower's bloom upon.
> I take a dazzling close-up with my dual-ranging Summicron.
>
> (CHORUS)
> He takes a dazzling close-up with his dual-ranging Summicron.
> He takes a dazzling close-up with his dual-ranging Summicron.
> He takes a dazzling close-up with his dual-ranging Summi-Summi-cron.
>
> (MASTER AMATEUR)
> And although I've tried the other brands they always are inferior.
> They can't resolve the fuzz upon a baby's bare posterior.
> That's why throughout my history, you'll find in my biography:
> I am a total devotee of Leica M photography.
>
> (CHORUS)
> That's why throughout his history, you'll find in his biography:
> He is a total devotee of Leica M photography.
>
> ------------
> --Peter Klein
> Seattle, WA
>
>
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