[hahs_63-68] Re: Mondo Carne

Hey Stu, nice yarn and since you mentioned Bali thought I'd share a Dudley 
story set in that very town.  We saw a similar thing in the Russian town of 
Novgorod, except it was with pigeons.  They are big on weddings in Russia - 
huge car, lots of photographers and pigeons.  We'll doves actually.  The happy 
couple go out into a park with a couple of white doves and release them as the 
photographers click away.  The theory is they are releasing these caged doves 
into freedom - some sort of reverse symbolism because they will soon be trapped 
I guess.  The reality is the two doves do a lap of the park and fly straight 
back to the pigeon loft of bloke who sold them, ready to be on-sold to the next 
pair of suckers getting married in Novgorod.  

Now the Bali yarn;

DUDLEY and Grace were on holidays in Bali when they bumped into his solicitor 
mate Garry who had been flown up from Australia to defend a convicted drug 
trafficker called Wright. Garry had been retained by the Australian government 
to seek a last minute stay of execution for Wright who was due to be hanged 
later that night. When the judge adjourned proceedings to deliberate, Garry and 
Dudley had a few drinks together in a Denpasar bar while Grace went off and did 
some shopping. He got back home to the hotel late that night and copped an 
ear-bashing from Grace. She didn’t let up – nag, nag, nag.. So he grabbed a 
beer and ran a bath while Grace continued to nag him with a verbal volley of 
abuse. After about half an hour she had settled down and burst into the 
bathroom with some good news. As Grace opened the bathroom door, she was 
greeted by the sight of Dudley, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.

“They're not hanging Wright tonight,” she barked.

“Bloody hell woman,” he screamed, “do you ever stop nagging?”

As for the one degree of separation I don't know the people mentioned, although 
I do know Coolamon.  But I too have something back in the recesses of my foggy 
mind about a Kangaroo cousin we share.

Geoff Goody
  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: Stu 
  To: hahs_63-68@xxxxxxxxxxxxx 
  Sent: Tuesday, March 20, 2012 10:31 PM
  Subject: [hahs_63-68] Re: Mondo Carne

  It's a dog's world. Especially if you're on the menu. 

  We were eating/quenching at a sidewalk 'cafe' in Bali and the stall opposite 
our table sold fruit/veggies and, common in countries with poor refrigeration, 
live protein. There were three cylindrical bamboo baskets hanging from the 
awning. Two were chooks. Despite being hung upside down with their heads poking 
out a small opening at the bottom, they were both remarkably alert to their 
surroundings. Every now and then the rooster would cock his head in my 
direction and give me that "C'mon mate... eat ME" soughta look. Basket No. 3 
was a mystery package. Maybe a duck with his head stuck. ...? The mystery was 
soon revealed following an amusing pantomime between two passing young French 
femmes and the middle-age female stall holder. The girls stopped in their 
tracks and started inspecting aforementioned basket No. 3 from all angles 
before railing on the poor Balinese woman in French and English. After a 
somewhat heated exchange they slapped some cash down on the counter. The now 
ex-owner of the basket took it down from the hook and dismissively handed it to 
one of the girls who quickly undid the top draw-string to release the ... 
puppy! After about 10 minutes of trying to cajole the little guy to stand and 
walk, with his front legs unable to support its weight, they managed only to 
get it to find traction with its back legs which, with sudden efficiency, 
scooted him away under the much more cluttered tables of the stall next door. 
After a further 10 minutes of unsuccessful moue-moue-ing sweet entreaties and 
squeaky noises, they shrugged their shoulders and continued on their way. The 
woman in the next-door stall reached in behind some boxes, lifted the pup out 
and handed it back to the now ex-ex-owner. She promptly popped the little 
protein package back into its bamboo cocoon and hung it back up for ... the 
next bunch of tourists to rescue. 

  Many Asians think we're barbaric for playing with our food.

  Geoff, that one degree of separation that's been niggling me ... do you know 
an educator named Annette Green or a cheese maker, Barry Lillywhite ...? 

  PS I used to think my idea of heaven would be to come back as my dog. 
       My idea of hell would be to come back as a Bangkok dog.

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