[guide.chat] { received with many thanks to Si Watson } :Fwd: How cold was it?
- From: Keith Wines <muckyduck2@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: "guide chat" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sun, 4 Dec 2011 18:15:13 -0000
:Fwd: How cold was it?
HOW COLD WAS IT? IT WAS SO COLD ....
- kids were using a new excuse to stay up late: "But Mom, my pajamas haven't
thawed out yet!"
- when kids go outside to play, they can only go as far as the extension
cord will allow.
- we had to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our
parkas.
- Levi Strauss started manufacturing electric jeans.
- the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of
eyeglasses.
- the Statue of Liberty was seen sticking that torch under her robe.
- you need the wallpaper steamer to get undressed.
- "blanket suffocation" is now the number one cause of fatalities.
- Playboy magazine stopped publishing because no women would take their
clothes off.
- the computer store was selling giant keyboards so people could type with
mittens.
- "hot pants" started selling again.... until people figured out they
weren't.
- kids had to stay inside all week ... parents are now organizing a "teacher
appreciation day."
- anyone with a body temperature near 104°F was in danger of being hauled
out of their sickbed and used as a heater.
- firefighters couldn't convince people to get out of their houses when they
caught fire.
- we had to chop up the piano for firewood ... but we only got two chords.
- we didn't clean the house, we just defrosted it.
- the lights would only go on in the house when someone opened the door.
- I tried to take the garbage out, but it didn't want to go.
- we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside it to warm up.
- when I turned on the shower, I got hail.
- I chipped a tooth on my soup!
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