[guide.chat] old soldiers

  • From: "Si Watson" <mrsvilla@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: "guide chat" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Tue, 26 Jul 2011 12:20:49 +0100

 old soldiers

"Drafting Guys Over 60"
This is funny & obviously written
by a former soldier...

New Direction for any war:
Send Service Vets over 60!

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down 
terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the 
whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, 
they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military 
unit until you're at least 55.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. 
Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 
28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a 
dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We 
are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately 
deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile..

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get 
up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't 
sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical 
son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put 
them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and 
yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation 
for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the 
house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've been in combat 
and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did 
I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've never 
seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to 
shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured 
out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his 
head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more 
about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last 
thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts 
with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are 
already behind them.
HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!! You think MEN 
have attitudes??
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll 
have it secured the first night!
Send this to all of your senior friends...it's in big type so they can read 
it.


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