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:FW: Fwd: FW: Let's Offend Everyone

 
I came out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas &
a jumbo sausage.
A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' 

I told him 'I wish I had your will power.'
 

I took my Biology exam last Friday.I was asked to name two things commonly
found in cells. 
Apparently "Blacks" and "Rumanian gipsies" were not the correct answers. 

A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunch time. She said 'sorry about the
wait.' 
I said 'don't worry dear, you're bound to lose it eventually. ' 

I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank. 
When I came out, he looked at me and said 'Any Change?' 
I said 'Nope, you're still black' 

Snow in the forecast! The TV weather girl said she was expecting 8 inches
tonight. 
I thought to myself, fat chance with a face like that! 
An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man asks What is
wrong?? 
The boy says Me ma is dead. 
Oh bejaysus the man says Do you want me to call Father O' Riley for you? 
The boy replies No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the
moment. 

Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away..But
since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works
best! 
Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such an immense shutter
speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth
closed. 

I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could
look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself I'm going
to take that. 

Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland. He looks down and sees a
farmer in the fields and shouts to him Where am I? 
The Irish farmer looks back up and shouts back. "You're in that basket up
there." 
I had a Trivia competition shot to pieces until the last question which I
got wrong. The question was Where do women have the curliest hair??
 The answer I should have given was Fiji...
        
  

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