[guide.chat]

:Fwd: GIGGLE 4 THE AGED!

The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was 
down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and 
said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage 
door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and 
walked into his office puzzled by the question.

As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and 
zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 
'garage door.'

He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When 
my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?'
She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old mini van with 
two flat tires..
 

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An elderly gentleman....
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the 
doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing 
aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor 
said, 'Your hearing is perfect.. Your family must be really pleased 
that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will 
three times!'
 

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Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement centre were sitting on a bench 
under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years 
old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my 
age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'
 

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An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after 
eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out 
to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it very 
highly..'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name 
of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know.... The one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the 
kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went 
to last night?'

 
 

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Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. 
During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, 
but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember 
..
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his 
chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure..'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she 
asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write 
it down, so not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with 
strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it 
down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! 
Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness 
sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man 
returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and 
eggs... She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast ?'
 

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A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?'
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'
 

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Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'
 

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Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a 
gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're 
really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be 
cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart 
murmur; be careful.'
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A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled 
himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, 
he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'

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Now , before you 'forget', send them on to some other folks you know 
who could use a good laugh !!

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