[guide.chat]
- From: "Harold Kitching" <harold.kitching01@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: "Forum chats guade forum" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Sarah Mellor" <sarah_mellor@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "mrs villa" <mrsvilla4@xxxxxxxxx>, "Keith Wines" <muckyduck2@xxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Wed, 14 Mar 2012 18:34:21 -0000
MURDER AT TESCO
Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young
husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance
policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary and then arranging to
have her killed.
A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side
underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie explained to the
husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was £10,000.
The husband said he was willing to pay that amount but that he wouldn't have
any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie
insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his
wallet, displaying the single pound coin that rested inside. Artie sighed,
rolled his eyes and reluctantly agreed to accept the pound as down payment
for the dirty deed.
A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Tesco
Supermarket. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded
to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew
her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce
department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave
any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the
produce manager as well.
However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the
hidden security cameras and observed by the shop's security guard, who
immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could
even leave The premises.
Under intense Questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole
sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless
husband who was also quickly arrested.
The next day in the Newspaper, the headline declared...
(You're going to hate me for this...)
'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for £1.00 @ Tesco
Oh, quit groaning! I don't write this stuff, I receive it from my warped
friends and then send it on to you.
9
You will
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