[guide.chat] jokes

  • From: "Stanley Carter" <stanleycarter3@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: "guide chat" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Tue, 13 Mar 2012 15:23:01 -0000


jokes

 

   cleaner required  two hours a day to clean  small  officers 

 advertisement   rings by  post state  size or enclose   tape tied round finger 
advertisement  since taking  your medication I have felt like a new woman 
original may be seen on request 

advertisement  to let -small
 mouse    

advertisement  wanted-person to wash dishes and two waitresses  

advertisement  widows  maid to your specification 

at the doctor surgery  in Italy specialist in women  and other diseases    

at a drive -through  fast food  restaurant  parking for drive through hole 

at the dry cleaner's  we do not tear your clothing  with machinery we do it 
carefully  by hand 

at the gas station we will sell gasoline  to any one in a glass  container  

at the hospital  family  planning  advice use rear entrance 

at the hotel in Acapulco the manager has personally   passed all the water 
served here 

at the  rail road  station beware 
to touch these wires insistently 
death anyone  found doing so will be prosecuted 

on a repair  shop door we can repair anything  please knock  hard -bell doesn't 
work 

on a road sign when this sign is under water this road is impossible 

on an Atlantic city hotel  restaurant have your next affair  hear 

on the door to an  optical  research  lab  do not look  in to laser  with 
remaining good eye                 

out side  a country we buy junk and sell antiques  

out side a dry  cleaner's  customers leaving garments  longer  then fore weeks 
will be disposed  of 
out side a hang tailor's  shop  ladies may have a fit  up stares  
out side restaurant    when  good  food is unexpected  pleasure   

see in the conference  facility   for anyone who as children  and dissent's   
know it there is a day care  centre on the first  floor 

in a bar guys  no shirt no service glass  no shirt no change 

in a newsagent's  window one- bedroom furnished flat £300 per month electric 
and rats included 

        skeletons 
why dident the skeleton go  bungee-jumping? he didn't have the guts  

how did the skeleton know it was raining he could feel it in is bones 

skiing 
  
glenda is on a skling  holiday she's just been lifted to the top of the slope  
when she relises she desperately   want a pee  there no rest -rome   in sight 
so glenda  scoots  to a small clump of treets and drops her  ski  pants  she 
breathe's   a huge  sigh of relife as her bladder  starts  to empty   but 
doesn't 
realise  that she's  started  slowly  sliding backwords  suddenly   glenda dose 
notice that she's moving  but by this time she's  left  her  ski sticks  behind 
  she picks  up speed and still peeing  slips  down the slope going  faster and 
faster glenda's  back side turns  blue  as it's pelted by flying snow and her 
ordeal only ends when she crashes  backwords in to a  post  an hour later  
gelanda is being admitted to hospical   with a broken  arm in the waiting  room 
her  wheelchair  is parked  next to a man in skiing clothing  who as is leg in 
plaster 
hi  says glenda 
looks  like we both  had some bad luck  today  how did you break  your leg ?
the man shakes is head  you will nevr  be leve it  he says i was in the ski 
lift  when i look down  and saw this crazy woman skiing backwords down the 
mountain  with her trousers round her  ankles  having a whizz  i leaned  over  
to to take a better look and fell out of my chair  so how did you break  your 
arm ?                 

cross country  skiing is great if you live in a small conutrey 

 how maney ski instructors  
duse it take to screw in a light- buld?
none they screw in the hot -tub 

how maney skiers dose it take to change a light builb  ?ten oneto screw it in 
and another nine to stand  around  saying nice turm 
nice turn  

Other related posts: