jokes cleaner required two hours a day to clean small officers advertisement rings by post state size or enclose tape tied round finger advertisement since taking your medication I have felt like a new woman original may be seen on request advertisement to let -small mouse advertisement wanted-person to wash dishes and two waitresses advertisement widows maid to your specification at the doctor surgery in Italy specialist in women and other diseases at a drive -through fast food restaurant parking for drive through hole at the dry cleaner's we do not tear your clothing with machinery we do it carefully by hand at the gas station we will sell gasoline to any one in a glass container at the hospital family planning advice use rear entrance at the hotel in Acapulco the manager has personally passed all the water served here at the rail road station beware to touch these wires insistently death anyone found doing so will be prosecuted on a repair shop door we can repair anything please knock hard -bell doesn't work on a road sign when this sign is under water this road is impossible on an Atlantic city hotel restaurant have your next affair hear on the door to an optical research lab do not look in to laser with remaining good eye out side a country we buy junk and sell antiques out side a dry cleaner's customers leaving garments longer then fore weeks will be disposed of out side a hang tailor's shop ladies may have a fit up stares out side restaurant when good food is unexpected pleasure see in the conference facility for anyone who as children and dissent's know it there is a day care centre on the first floor in a bar guys no shirt no service glass no shirt no change in a newsagent's window one- bedroom furnished flat £300 per month electric and rats included skeletons why dident the skeleton go bungee-jumping? he didn't have the guts how did the skeleton know it was raining he could feel it in is bones skiing glenda is on a skling holiday she's just been lifted to the top of the slope when she relises she desperately want a pee there no rest -rome in sight so glenda scoots to a small clump of treets and drops her ski pants she breathe's a huge sigh of relife as her bladder starts to empty but doesn't realise that she's started slowly sliding backwords suddenly glenda dose notice that she's moving but by this time she's left her ski sticks behind she picks up speed and still peeing slips down the slope going faster and faster glenda's back side turns blue as it's pelted by flying snow and her ordeal only ends when she crashes backwords in to a post an hour later gelanda is being admitted to hospical with a broken arm in the waiting room her wheelchair is parked next to a man in skiing clothing who as is leg in plaster hi says glenda looks like we both had some bad luck today how did you break your leg ? the man shakes is head you will nevr be leve it he says i was in the ski lift when i look down and saw this crazy woman skiing backwords down the mountain with her trousers round her ankles having a whizz i leaned over to to take a better look and fell out of my chair so how did you break your arm ? cross country skiing is great if you live in a small conutrey how maney ski instructors duse it take to screw in a light- buld? none they screw in the hot -tub how maney skiers dose it take to change a light builb ?ten oneto screw it in and another nine to stand around saying nice turm nice turn