[guide.chat] fun with puns

  • From: "harold kitching" <harold.kitching01@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: "pam camidge" <pam.camidge@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "guide chat" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Sun, 26 Aug 2012 15:16:30 +0100

:Fwd: Fun with puns!

- I changed my smartphone's name to Titanic. It's syncing now. 

- When chemists die, they barium.

- Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

- I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

- How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

- This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never
met herbivore.

- I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

- I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

- They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

- PMS jokes aren't funny; period!

- We?re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no
pop quiz.

- I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

- Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she
couldn't control her pupils?

- When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

- Broken pencils are pointless.

- I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

- England has no Kidney Bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

- I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

- I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

- I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

- Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.

- Velcro ? what a rip off!

- A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

- Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

- The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.
 

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