[guide.chat] call centre

Hi all I received this one a few months ago and probably put it into the chat 
line,but I was looking at the old ones and I thought this one a good one,so I 
thought you might like another look at it,and my thanks go out to the sender 
who sent it to me in the first place,I'm pretty sure she will remember it,so my 
thanks go out to her .

 call centre

 
: call centre

     
 

 
 
Actual  call centre conversations !!!!!  

Customer:  "I've been ringing   0800 2100 ,  for two days and can't get 
through to enquiries, can you  help?".
Operator:     "Where did you get that number from,  sir?". 
Customer:     "It was on the door to the Travel  Centre".
Operator:     "Sir, they are our opening  hours".  
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Samsung  Electronics  
Caller:          "Can you give me the  telephone number for Jack?" 
Operator:     "I'm sorry, sir, I  don't understand who you are talking 
about".. 
Caller:      "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly  states 
that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC  wall socket  and telephone 
Jack before cleaning.. Now, can you give me the number for  Jack?" 
Operator:      "I think you mean the telephone  point on the wall".
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RAC  Motoring Services  
Caller:          "Does your European  Breakdown Policy cover me when I am 
travelling in Australia ?"  
Operator:      "Doesn't the product name give you a  clue?"  
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Caller  (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France): 
"If I  register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel 
to the  other side of the car?"
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Directory  Enquiries  
 

Caller:  "I'd like the number of  the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please". 
Operator:        "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"  
Caller:               "Well, it  used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but 
the 'B' fell  off".  
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Then  there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.  
Operator:        "Woven? Are you sure?"  
Caller:             "Yes. That's what it  says on the label; Woven in 
Scotland ".  
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On  another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box  
told a worried operator: 
"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the  window to write the number 
on". 
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Tech  Support:      "I need you to right-click on the Open  Desktop".
Customer:              "OK".
Tech Support:      "Did you get a pop-up menu?".  
Customer:             "No".
Tech  Support:      "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up  menu?"
Customer:              "No".
Tech Support:      "OK, sir. Can you tell me what  you have done up until 
this point?". 
Customer:        "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote  'click'". 
 
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Tech  Support:          "OK. In the bottom left hand  side of the screen, 
can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer:  "Wow. How can you  see my screen from there?" 
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Caller:  "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised 
that  I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file  
back again?".  
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There's  always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a 
long time..  I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a 
true  story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a  
recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the  Help 
Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word  Perfect 
organization for "Termination without Cause". 
Actual dialogue  of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I 
know why they  record these conversations!): 

Operator:        "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?" 
Caller:  "Yes, well, I'm having  trouble with WordPerfect." 
Operator:         "What  sort of trouble??" 
Caller:              "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden 
the words went  away." 
Operator:         "Went away?" 
Caller:  "They disappeared."  
Operator:         "Hmm So what does your screen  look like now?" 
Caller:              "Nothing." 
Operator:         "Nothing??"  
Caller:              "It's blank;  it won't accept anything when I type." 
Operator:        "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??" 
Caller:  "How do I tell?"  
Operator:         "Can you see the C: prompt on  the screen??" 
Caller:              "What's a sea-prompt?" 
Operator:          "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the 
screen?" 
Caller:  "There isn't any cursor: I  told you, it won't accept anything I 
type." 
Operator:      "Does your monitor have a power indicator??" 
Caller:  "What's a monitor?"  
Operator:         "It's the thing with the screen  on it that looks like a 
TV. Does it have a little light that tells you  when it's on??" 
Caller:              "I don't know." 
Operator:          "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find 
where the power  cord goes into it. Can you see that??" 
Caller:        "Yes, I think so." 
Operator:      "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's  
plugged into the wall. 
Caller:            "Yes, it is."
Operator:         "When  you were behind the monitor, did you notice that 
there were two cables  plugged into the back of it, not just one??" 
Caller:      "No."
Operator:        "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and  
find the other cable.." 
Caller:            "Okay, here it is."
Operator:          "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely 
into the  back of your computer." 
Caller:            "I can't reach."
Operator:          "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller:      "No."
Operator:        "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way 
 over??" 
Caller:               "Oh,  it's not because I don't have the right angle - 
it's because it's  dark."
Operator:          "Dark??"
Caller:  "Yes - the office light  is off, and the only light I have is 
coming in from the window. 
"  Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller:      "I can't."
Operator:      "No? Why not??"
Caller:          "Because there's a power failure." 
Operator:  "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it 
licked  now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your  computer 
came in??" 
Caller:              "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet." 
Operator:      "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack  it up 
just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you  bought 
it from."
Caller:              "Really? Is it that bad?" 
Operator:        "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller:      "Well, all right then, I  suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator:          "Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a  
computer!!!!!"

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