[guide.chat] Wemdy very appropriate me thinks.

> never a true word
> Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I 
> look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of 
> their hopes and dreams.  If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of 
> work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better 
> that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and 
> worry about my liver." 
> ~ Jack Handy 
> 
> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell 
> happened to your bra and nickers. 
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
> "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, 
> that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " 
> ~Frank Sinatra 
> 
> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are 
> tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. 
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
> "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." 
> ~ Henny Youngman 
> 
> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing 
> WITH you. 
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
> "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." 
> ~ Stephen Wright 
> 
> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. 
> 
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
> "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall 
> asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's 
> all get drunk and go to heaven!" 
> ~ Brian O'Rourk e 
> 
> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. 
> 
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
> "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." 
> ~ Benjamin Franklin 
> 
> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a 
> retard. 
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. 
> Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does 
> not go nearly as well with pizza." 
> ~ Dave Barry 
> 
> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over 
> and over again that you love them. 
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can! 
> ~ Dave Howell 
> 
> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically 
> converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. 
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
> And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One 
> afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his 
> buddy Norm. 
> Here's how it went: 
> 
> "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast 
> as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and 
> weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is 
> good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the 
> whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In 
> much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest 
> brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But 
> naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, 
> regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the 
> brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter 
> after a few beers.." 
> 
> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering 
> when you are not ...
> 
> 
>  
>  
>  
>  

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