[guide.chat] :{ Judith }: Fw: Enjoy!
- From: "Keith Wines" <keith.wines@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: "guide chat" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sun, 1 May 2011 00:27:05 +0100
: Fw: Enjoy!
Subject: Fw: Enjoy!
DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family
values. Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did
you?' Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'
___________________________________________
A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence
come from?' The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your
mother, cause I still have mine.'
___________________________________________
'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court Judge
said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week.' 'That's very fair, your
honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few
bucks myself.'
___________________________________________
A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the
husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the look of your wife
at all.' 'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really
good with the kids.'
___________________________________________
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been
living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have
to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.' The old man
says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'
___________________________________________
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take to
fly from San Francisco to New York City?' The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'
'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.
___________________________________________
Two Hispanic detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. 'How
was he killed?' asked one detective. 'With a golf gun,' the other detective
replied. 'A golf gun! What is a golf gun?' 'I don't know, but it sure made a
hole in Juan.'
___________________________________________
Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.' Joe: 'Really?' Moe: 'Yeah Until I
married her I didn't believe in Hell.'
___________________________________________
A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him
how he is feeling. 'I'm OK but I didn't like the four-letter words the doctor
used in Surgery,' he answered. 'What did he say,' asked the nurse. 'Oops!'
___________________________________________
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of
bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had
even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice. 'What
do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?' 'Better get a
bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.'
He's still in intensive care.
___________________________________________
The graveside service just barely finished, when there was a tremendous bolt of
lightning, followed by a massive roll of thunder, accompanied by even more
thunder rumbling in the distance. The little old man looked at the pastor and
calmly said, 'Well, she's there.'
Other related posts:
- » [guide.chat] :{ Judith }: Fw: Enjoy! - Keith Wines
