[guide.chat] In Reply To: [guide.chat] In Reply To: Is there any body there

From: "James Liddell" <james.liddell2@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: "vanessa" <qwerty1234567a@xxxxxxxxx>, "GUIDE CHAT" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Mon, 18 Jun 2012 22:45:33 +0100
Vanessa:
You want another CB story earning a muppet of the month award?
OK.....
I was using my CB - a legal one ( for once...) which, incidentally had a 
talking channel changer - a real hi-tech thing in the early eighties.
This particular rig ( CB radio ) was set up in my room, and I was happily 
nattering to a breaker ( CB user ) when my mike key broke. A fellow breaker, 
whose handle ( username) was Grass Cutter, said he'd fix the problem, so, half 
an hour later, he came down to my place and plugged a spare mike into the set 
so we could continue the channel group we were on.
He unscrewed my ailing mike, and started working, with super glue, on the 
offending key. 
From the speaker, an almighty howl of laughter erupted as a result of a joke 
someone had told....

and the super glue in Grass Cutter's hand erupted as well....
everywhere on Grass Cutter, in fact.
It burned through his trousers in a certain place......
Put it this way, it became patently obvious that Grass Cutter was, in fact, 
male!
He had to walk home ( he'd left his car at home...a mile and a half away ), his 
legs bowed like a frog's, his hand covering his important little places.
He looked like John Wayn might have after a fortnight in the saddle.


The thing is, though  - we found out later that the type of super glue he used 
didn't work on the type of plastic which made up my mike.

Classic!

-----Original Message-----
From: vanessa - Email Address: qwerty1234567a@xxxxxxxxx
Sent On: 18/06/2012 09:59
Sent To: GUIDE CHAT - Email Address: guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [guide.chat] In Reply To: Is there any body there

Encore jim, more like this please, loved it, very comical, my how people 
summise and get the wrong idea.
vanessa.

-----Original Message-----
From: James Liddell - Email Address: james.liddell2@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent On: 17/06/2012 22:07
Sent To: Dawn Watson, Guide Chat - Email Address: dawnyhen@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx, 
guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [guide.chat] In Reply To: [guide.chat] Is there any body there

OK, Dawn; you asked for it!
You asked for proof of my daftness.
Can I proudly say that I was the winner of the "Muppet of the month" award 
three months running, in my local, 70-strong CB Club?
(Ah, those were the days!)
The award consisted of a giant green (stuffed) frog....I still have it, so who 
needs a teddy bear?
I want you to picture the scene.
In the dim and distant past before mobile phones, there I was, walking along, 
long cane in one hand, CB walkie-talkie in the other.
Now, one of the best places to get a signal was the local graveyard, which 
looks out over the hills toward the south and Galloway. So I plugged my 
external mike into my CB, put on the rubber duck - a kind of flexible Ariel 
which stopped you poking your eye out with the set's own Ariel - and started 
talking. 
I'd propped the set against a convenient headstone, and was enjoying a 
modulation with a breaker on the mobile channel (sorry, CB talk) After about 
ten minutes, two shapes materialised in front of me....after a few seconds 
trying to see what they were, they happened to be two old dears. As I was the 
person talking at the time, they must've thought I was trying to get comfort 
from talking to a departed loved one.
I un keyed the mike.
The person at the other end of the conversation let out a laugh - I'd been 
sharing a joke.
Dawn, I'm telling you: those old woman took off in the opposite direction, 
probably beating the land speed record in the process!
Curiously enough, they never seemed to speak to me again.
I wonder why?

How's that for starters?

And there's more!

-----Original Message-----
From: Dawn Watson - Email Address: dawnyhen@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent On: 17/06/2012 15:17
Sent To: Guide Chat - Email Address: guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [guide.chat] Is there any body there

James you said you won't all there , so does this mean your a bungalow not a 
house, therefore you have nothing upstairs.
may I have proof that you are the daftest on the chat line .can we have 
evidence of this certificate 

love from Dawn

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