[guide.chat] :{Here is another good one from our Judith thankyou so much .}: Fw: Fwd: FW: Puns - only for the educated.
- From: "Keith Wines" <keith.wines@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: "guide chat" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Wed, 6 Jul 2011 00:05:41 +0100
: Fw: Fwd: FW: Puns - only for the educated.
Puns - only for the educated....
1. King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with
the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most
valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the
pawnbroker, to ask for a loan.
Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it."
"But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't you know who I
am? I am the king!"
Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you
are."
---------------------
2. Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers.
Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire, ...and so
we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
---------------------
3. A man rushed into a busy doctor's surgery and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm
shrinking!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down..You'll just have to
be a little patient."
---------------------
4. Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to
produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they
used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often
ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California. This, of course, is the
origin of the expression -- "He who has a Tate's is lost!"
----------------------
5. An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man.
After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk
rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew, and swallow
one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to
see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is
ended, but the malady lingers on."
----------------------
6. A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name
missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local
civic official, who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my
census."
----------------------
7. There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an
elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became
pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the
hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that... the squaw of
the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.
(Some of you may need help with this one).
-----------------------
8. A skeptical anthropologist was cataloguing South American folk remedies with
the assistance of a tribal elder who indicated that the leaves of a particular
fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist
expressed his doubts, the elder looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell
you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas."
QE Demonstrandum
Other related posts:
- » [guide.chat] :{Here is another good one from our Judith thankyou so much .}: Fw: Fwd: FW: Puns - only for the educated. - Keith Wines
