[guide.chat] Forwarded Email: DONT WORRY ABOUT GETTING OLD(ER)

From: "Keith Wines" <keith.wines@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: "guide chat" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Fri, 11 Dec 2009 20:24:47 -0000


---- DONT WORRY ABOUT GETTING OLD(ER)   
Sent on 26th of July 2009 
 

: DONT WORRY ABOUT GETTING OLD(ER)


Subject: Fwd: FW: TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US
?

To my dear, not so old friends..........

? 

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!?
??
? 
LOST IN THE DARNDEST PLACES

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has 
been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the 
dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and 
even the accelerator!" she cried.??

The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."?

A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says. "She got in 
the back-seat by mistake."?
_______________________________________________________ 
FAMILY

Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 
96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the 
other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"?
The 94-year-old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up 
the stairs and pauses "Was I going up the stairs or down?"?
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her 
sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that 
forgetful,?knock on wood." She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you 
as soon as I see who's at the door."???

____________________________________________ 
"I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!"?
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. 
One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?"
"No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday."?

And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."?
_______________________________________________________ 
LITTLE LADY:?

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she 
walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex." She 
walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she 
said, "Supersex."??

He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."?
_______________________________________________________
OLD FRIENDS:?

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had 
shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had 
been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were 
playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me. 
I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! 
I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your 
name is"
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared 
at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"??
__________________________________________ 
SENIOR DRIVING?

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. 
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just 
heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. 
Please be careful!"
"Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"?
_______________________________________?

? 
DRIVING?

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over 
the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The 
stoplight was red, but they just went on through The woman in the passenger 
seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went 
through a red light." After a few more minutes, they came to another 
intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The 
woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was 
really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next 
intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she 
turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know th at we just ran 
through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"?
Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, crap, am I driving ?"??
_______________________________________________________ 
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!

No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG - www.avg.com 
Version: 8.5.392 / Virus Database: 270.13.54/2300 - Release Date: 08/13/09 
06:11:00

No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG - www.avg.com 
Version: 8.5.392 / Virus Database: 270.13.54/2300 - Release Date: 08/13/09 
06:11:00

[guide.chat] Forwarded Email: DONT WORRY ABOUT GETTING OLD(ER)

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