[guide.chat] Best Smart Ass Answers Of 2009!!!
- From: "Dave Bonner" <djbonner@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: "Guide Chat" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Tue, 16 Mar 2010 17:24:17 -0000
It was mealtime during an airline flight.
'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in
front.
'What are my choices?' John asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.
SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened
his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not
your stub.'
SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but
she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'
SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for
speeding rolled down his window.
'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said.
The kid replied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
without a ticket.
SMART ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign
That read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in
front of him and his truck gets wedged under it.
Cars are backed up for miles. Finally a police car comes up.
The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his
hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'
The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out
of gas.'
SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2009!! A BONUS EXTRA
A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not
happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
'I feel horrible; I look old and wrinkly and unattractive. I really
need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.
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