[guide.chat] Best Smart Ass Answers Of 2009!!!


It was mealtime during an airline flight.

'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in 
front. 
'What are my choices?' John asked. 
'Yes or no,' she replied.

SMART ASS ANSWER #5

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check 
tickets. 
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened 
his trench coat and flashed her. 
Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not 
your stub.'
SMART ASS ANSWER #4

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but 
she couldn't find one big enough for her family. 
She asked a stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'

SMART ASS ANSWER #3

The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for 
speeding rolled down his window. 
'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said. 
The kid replied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.' 
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way 
without a ticket.

SMART ASS ANSWER #2

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign
That read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in 
front of him and his truck gets wedged under it.

Cars are backed up for miles. Finally a police car comes up.

The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his 
hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?' 
The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out 
of gas.'

SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2009!!   A BONUS EXTRA

A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not 
happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
'I feel horrible; I look old and wrinkly and unattractive. I really 
need you to pay me a compliment.' 
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.

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