[geocentrism] Neurotic Scientist: Is there a real Santa Clause?
- From: allendaves@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
- To: geocentrism@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Tue, 23 Dec 2008 07:18:45 -0800 (PST)
Allen Daves PhD
Neurotic Astrophysics and Cosmological Institute of Advanced Quantum Dynamics
Time Dilations and The dynamic interactions during the December 24th-25th Santa
Sleigh ride
Abstract:
This paper will show that the necessary energy required and subsequent thermal
absorption due to “Santa’s sleigh ride” is in excess of the most energetic
materials known to mankind, with the exception of rapid nuclear decay. Every
year shortly after thanksgiving fat men in red suits spontaneously appear
prolific throughout out the western sphere of influence. These fat men in red
suits claim to make a journey every year from the north pole to every part of
the Globe all on Christmas eve. The hurdles to such a feat should be obvious.
However, we shall dispassionately examine this type of activity which qualifies
as an energetic phenomena. The most energetic materials are limited to a
maximum of about 27 thousand feet per second. Given the sustained global focus
on climate change and the need for alternative energy sources, the obvious
advantages of harnessing such a clean energy source cannot be overstated.
However, we will leave such applications
to further study.
1. No Known species of reindeer can fly. But there are ~300,000 species of
living organisms yet to be classified, while most of these are insects and
germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has
ever seen. This is particularly truce since they are said to be magical, and
science has not yet found a way to fully quantify such attributes.
2.There are ~2 billion children (persons under the age of 18) in the world. But
since Santa doesn’t (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, Buddhist
children that reduces the workload to just 15% of the total world wide children
population. This results in ~378 million children according to population
reference bureau, at an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household,
that’s ~1.8 million homes. One presumes there are at least one “good” child in
each.
3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time
zones and the rotational effects of the daylight/dark hours, assuming he
travels east to west (which seems logical) . this works out to ~822.6 visits
per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with “good”
children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump
down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under
the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney get back
into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 1.8
million stops are roughly evenly distributed around the earth ( which of course
we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculation we will accept), we
are now talking about . 78 miles per household, a total trip of ~75-1/3 million
miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 8
hours or so, plus feeding
and etc.
This means that Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times
the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle
from earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second- a
conventional reindeer can run, tops 15 miles per hour. However, as noted before
these are magical reindeer thus harnessing this energy would be of significant
benefits to mankind.
4. The payload on the sleigh add another inertial variable to consider.
Assuming that each child gets nothing more then a medium-sized Lego set
(~2lbs), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is
invariably described as overweight. (very fat) On land, conventional reindeer
can pull no more then ~300lbs of dead weight. Even granting that “flying
reindeer” are magical, for comparison sake reindeer capable of pulling teen
times that amount would still require 214,200 reindeer. This alone would
increase the payload – not even counting the Wight of the sleigh to ~353,430
tons. For comparison this is four times the weight of the ship Queen Elizabeth.
5. 353 tons travelling at 650miles per second creates enormous inertial and
thermal effects. This will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as
spacecrafts reentering the earth’s atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will
absorb 14.3Quintillon joules of energy per second each. In short they will
burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and
create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team (non
magical reindeer for comparison) will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a
second. Santa, meanwhile will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06
times greater than gravity. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim)
would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 lbs of force.
Conclusion:
Without the magical properties of Santa’ reindeer, sleigh and Santa Himself
there is absolutely no way that Santa could sustain this annual ritual. Given
that Santa lives in the north pole and thus would be affected by the rate of
change to the global environment including ice flows and such, Santa may be our
best hope for either obtaining the necessary alternative energy sources for
combating the situation with global warming. This of course would require
further study since the exact nature of Santa’s “carbon foot print” are not yet
fully understood. this lead to yet another obvious conclusion, namely that
science needs to fully explore the world of magic so as to encompass the full
scope of all the “sciences”.
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