[gameprogrammer] Re: Gamasutra Article Rough Draft (Long)

I read your rough draft.  I would be glad to contribute.  I know how
difficult it is to write clear, easy to read, technical material.  So,
before contributing I give you the following information:
1.  Ernest Hemingway once said, to keep an audience reading, write at a
5th grade level or lower.  Your document reads at a Flesch-Kincaid 11th
grade level.
2. Your average sentence length is 16.5 words.  You may want to reduce
the length.
3.  The document contains 1% passive writing.  A technical document
reads better when written with clear declarative statements.
4.  I would suggest importing your document into a spelling & grammar
checking processor that has rules for checking wordiness, run-on and
sentence fragments among other stylistic elements. (An overly long
sentence.)
Despite the amount of abuse Microsoft gets, Word is a good tool for
checking your writing.  The rules you can turn on and off are good (they
use to be better).
One thing word processors cannot check is straying from the topic.  I
like your title:  "Designing secure, flexible, and high performance game
network architectures" and I wonder why you added a section devoted to
"cheat-resistance".
If you would like specific suggestions on your rough draft, I am at
rgomezbravo@xxxxxxxx

Good luck on your article.

>  -----Original Message-----
>  From: gameprogrammer-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx [mailto:gameprogrammer-
>  bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Kevin Jenkins
>  Sent: Tuesday, November 09, 2004 6:35 PM
>  To: gameprogrammer@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
>  Subject: [gameprogrammer] Gamasutra Article Rough Draft (Long)
>  
>  Gamasutra hired me to do a feature article for them, most likely to
be
>  published at the end of this month.  I've finished the first draft
and
>  wanted to get people's opinions on it.
>  
>  It's pretty long but they have a 3000 word requirement.
>  
>  Thanks in advance.
>  



---------------------
To unsubscribe go to http://gameprogrammer.com/mailinglist.html

Other related posts: