OT: Friday Humour

  • From: "Mark Fugatt" <mark@xxxxxxxxx>
  • To: "[ExchangeList]" <exchangelist@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Fri, 20 Aug 2004 15:24:25 -0400

Being someone who hates going into store I can relate to all of these :-)

Waiting at Wal-mart.  15 things to do in Wal-Mart while your spouse is
taking his/her sweet time:
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they
aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in house wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in
house wares ....and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll
invite them in if they bring pillows from the  bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask  Why can't
you people just leave me alone?".
9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows
where the anti-depressants are?
11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from
"Mission Impossible".
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using > different
size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal
position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
And last but not least...
15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell
loudly "There is no toilet paper in here!"

Mark Fugatt

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