[etni] Fw: 56 THINGS TO DO DURING THE STRIKE.doc

101 THINGS TO DO DURING THE STRIKE
----- Original Message ----- From: Barry Silverbeg - barisil@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 
Subject: 56 THINGS TO DO DURING THE STRIKE.doc

101 THINGS TO DO DURING THE STRIKE
( FOR ENGLISH TEACHERS)

Thanks to readers' efforts, I can now send you the first fifty –six:

1. Write to ETNI

2. Get out and demonstrate.
3. Busk : You can't leave your hat on. Put it upside down on the street corner and start playing your ghee-tar or whatever. Danger: If you succeed, you may not want to return to teaching.
4. Make wine, jams, you can even try to sell them to the histadroop members of your school. 

5. Fall in love – if you're  careful, this shouldn't cost too much, at first
6. anyway. ( Order now: In Love on a Shekel a Day, by Rundtanz P Kaltvasser.)
7. Read your ETNI mail and reply or flame on to any one who responded/ criticized what you wrote before. 

8. Use sunscreen ( we are striking through a sha'a'rav)
9. Get that great tan you missed out on last summer while you were: planning for this year/ correcting Bagroots/ giving summer courses. 

10. Meditate.
11. Remember the protest movement agains Oslo? "What have you done today to overthrow the government?" Well...
12. Start learning Thai or Phillipino (is that what they speak there) so you'll be able to brief the substitutes Olmert is bringing in to replace you... 13. And so that the worker you replace in the fields and pushing wheelchairs will be able to brief you. 

14. Meditate some more.  Grow a year younger.
15. Go out on the streets (don't worry... this is clean) and start scavenging for deposit bottles and cans--- four pieces gives you a shekel ; enough for one day of love if you're already in the program. Watch out for roving thugs who are looking to steal bottle collections.
16. Part time: What jobs are in demand these days? Mohels, Long distance teachers in Afganistan. Dog catchers to catch Kassams in Sderot Security guards for people who scavenge for deposit bottles.
17. paint your living room, bedroom, kitchen, toes and so forth. and when you have finished your house, you can always move on to your neighbors.
18. go to the gym. you have already paid your membership up for the year, so you may as well stay in shape.
19. talk to people you don't know. always a good thing anyway... while talking try to find ways to slip the strike into the conversation. this way, you can promote the cause, and maybe find someone who is single, nice and in favor of the teachers strike. :) 

20. move around your house aimlessly.

21. write movie reviews for YES.
22. thats how i have been spending my time.... and yes, the painting part is all true!!!!!!!!!!! :) 
oh and the last one ....
WORRY

23. housebreak your dog - there's finally time to do it humanely!

24. sleep more than 5 hours at a time

25. get a good look at your kids' faces
26. cook real food - sorry Pizza Hut, KFC, McDonald's, Burger King, and local schwarma guy! 

27. vaccuum under the bed

28. shop - only with what?

29. explore opportunities for high-paying jobs

30. watch your cheese mature

31. urinate whenever you feel like it – rather than 3:30 PM
32. make lists. Lots of lots of lists. Things to do. Things not to do. Things you can do if there's nobody watching. Things you wish you hadn't done. Things you wish you had done. Things you wished you had done and did, and having done, wished you hadn't.
33. Sign some of those petitions you usually delete from the In box: Save Israel's beauty spots, protest anti Semitism on the net, Keep Jerusalem united, save the whales, shave the legs, buy a diaper for Yigal Amir's baby, prevent the nuclear holocaust, Keep Manchester united, save Yigal Amir's baby's beauty spots, etc. 

34.Take a loan.
35. Send an Email chain letter to six, people where you would normaly zap it on sight.
36. Go to that site that has all the TV shows you loved as a kid, and watch all the TV shows you loved as a kid, without your mother coming in with the goddamn floor polisher.
37.Go to 'Classmates Com' and join if you're not a member. From the ones who have survived, look at your classmates who posted pictures of them selves and send an inviting E mail to the cutest. Or find the one who picked on you and tell them off. You'll never see them anyway.
38. Move around the house aimlessly again, but this time counterclockwise, and when you come near the wall, turn. Ouch! Too late.
39. Find out your loan is all used up on traveling to and from demonstrations. So, take-- 
40. a loan again, naturally.
41. You're all alone again, naturally and you can't even watch your cheese because it matured and . . . . . . cheese leaving home.
42. Scroll down. Way down. Scroll down to your waist. Your thighs, Your knees. Scroll up and down your toes. Yumm. 

43. Watch Taylor Mali's inspiring poem about teaching on you Tube.

44.The same thing goes for Robin Williams in " Good Will Hunting."
45. Demand that the Irgun Morim get us free tickets to the show " Reduced Shakespeare Company" which will have 3 performances in 2 weeks: One in Ranana, one in Haifa, and one in Sderot, after which they will be known as the " Reduced Shaking Company." http://til.and.co.uk:89/theatre/show-23367193-details/The+Complete+Works+Of+William+Shakespeare+(Abridged)/showReview.do 
Note:
I got a message saying this show has been cancelled. Darn it, but who has the hundreds of shekels for tickets anyway. And gas to get there.
46. Start flapping your arms. This strike threatens to last so long, you'll learn to fly.
47. 46 Follow some bees around so you can discover why the bees are disappearing all over the world, Maybe they aren't being paid enough. If you find out, you'll be famous and rich and won't have to teach no more.
48. stand in front the fridge and find out what cheese and chocolate taste like together...
49. plan to reorganize your closet, then stare blankly at it for half an hour before deciding that there will still be a strike tomorrow so may as well do it then.... 

50. and again, wander around the house aimlessly

51. find yourself on the side of the majority,    pause and reflect."

52. pick and cure olives, and keep sharp eye on their daily
progress, along with wines and jams mentioned above.

53.  Another consideration is washing those empty wine bottles before
returning them (If you've sunk this low you're probably one of the people stealing my deposit bottle bags). 

54. Invest in a new pet.  Do not name it 'Ehud' or 'Yuli'.

55. I've also written to some MKs but so far have not heard back.

56  Some cheery soul sent in the following suggestion:
Have an abortion.
         No thanks.
          We've already got one.
          It's called the government.
/ so far, this list has been prepared equally by 3 hands, each in a different third of the country, you can tell by the fonts 


Silverberg,
October 27.



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