[etni] [FWD: EMAIL NUDNICKS]

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 -------- Original Message --------
 Subject: EMAIL NUDNICKS
 From: "Barry" <barisil@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>

(*ETNI note - We don't usually foward such things in their entirety, but we 
just couldn't resist this time.)
** (double note) - This is NOT to be taken seriously, unless you really want to 
make Barry rich.
*** (our lawyer advised us to add the double note so that we won't be 
responsible for anything that you do to your computer or bank account

 
 DEAR EVERYBODY WHO HAS BEEN CAUGHT UP IN THIS RECENT DOWNPOUR OF WASTED E-MAIL 
TIME OR SHOULD I SAY, HAIL MAIL?. . .
 
 I eagerly opened my mailbox after Shabbat, and instead of getting any good 
letters, i received the usual 30 questions about the New Bagrut, another 40 
offers of medication and instant wealth, and  65 copies of a letter that began 
something like this:
 
     To everyone in my address book. 
     I just recieved an email that had a virus...
     it automatically is passed through e-mail address books.
 
     I found it in my C: drive.
 
     Since you are in my address book, you will probably find it in your 
computer too.
 
     The virus, called 'windows xp' is not detected by Norton or McAfee 
anti-virus systems. The virus sits quietly for months on end, humming to itself 
and quietly nashing on computer chips before damaging the system. It is sent 
automatically by "messenger" and by address book whether or not you sent e-mail 
to your contacts. Here is how to check for the virus and how to get rid of it.
 
     PLEASE DO THIS ASAP.
 
     1. Go to Start, then click your "find" or search" option.
     2. In the folder option, type the name 'windows xp'
     3. Be sure to search your C drive (this is where I found it) and all the 
sub folders and other drives you may have 
     4. Click "find now"
     5. Erase it as fast as you can
     6. Open your recycle bin and pour a bottle of sulphuric acid down it.
     7. If you don't have sulphuric acid, you can use 'Drano', 'Sillit' or 
'Fanta-Shokatta.'
     8  Throw your printer onto the floor and jump on it.
     9  Some bits of virus may have adhered themselves to your screen or 
keyboard.  Treat by smearing with hummous or maple syrup (maple flavored syrup 
will not do).
     6. Now, run  down to your bank.
     7.  Do not walk!!!  Do not pass GO.
     8.  Withdraw $5000 in small bills.
     9.  Place the money in a lead lined envelope, and mail it to
     10.   'Barry Viruspreventer Silverberg, Berl 25, Kiriat Shmona.
     11 DO NOT TELL YOUR SPOUSE, CHILDREN OR HANDLER ABOUT THIS!
     12   If you still have access to a computer,  you must contact all the 
people in your address book so that they may eradicate all trace of being 
acquainted with someone as silly as you.
     13.  You are still reading this.  SIGH.  Some people never learn.
     14 OK:  Take of all your clothes, apply blue paint evenly over your body, 
and walk out onto the street, saying,  'It's Rosh Hodesh Adar 2004 and i still 
fall for those bogus virus hoaxes.'
 
       Sorry
       Barry V Silverberg
       As usual, Mr Phelps, some of you may be receiving this twice.
       In that case --  Really really sorry

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