[drivingpairs] Re: Voice Commands
- From: "Laura Crews" <barnrats@xxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: drivingpairs@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Thu, 08 May 2003 23:12:38 -0400
I never, EVER cluck or kiss to my ponies. It's a different language to
the ponies, and they totally disregard it.
They have no concept of the sounds, even though people (like farriers)
converse constantly with them. I tease people about persisting with the
silly sounds after I have already told them not to use them, that the ponies
won't respond and that I don't WANT them to respond. Their reaction is
invariably that they "didn't realize they were [still] doing it," and that
it's such a habit they no longer even notice that they do it.
For one thing, in my riding lesson days, clucking was not allowed by my
instructor. It'll ruin your ridden dressage test, you know!!! And it looks
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO stupid at local riding shows to have everyone at
ringside clucking and kissing for the duration of the short stirrup classes
(my ponies also get ridden by kids when I can snag some).
Also, I don't want my ponies responding to a cluck made by someone else,
such as at a show when we are standing around waiting. They are to answer
to me, and me only. I am always amazed and irritated by the public when
they see the ponies and demand to know their names. If I tell them a barn
name (which I don't anymore!), such as "Scamp" or "Melissa," people have
gone so far as to squat down, pat their thighs, kiss and say things like
"Come on Scamp! Come on, boy!" And then they wonder why the pony doesn't
come running, licking them in the face and wagging its tail! NO LIE!!!! So
now, if I'm driving a pair, I just quickly respond to the name question with
a slur of "The Barnrats" -- and that shuts them up. Or I say "Country Roads
Audacity" (gotta say it fast!) and THAT shuts them up. It also helps
having registered names like Country Roads Impervious, Impetuous, and
Aspiration. Say the words fast enough, and the people can't remember what
came in front!
And lastly, my mouth gets so darned dry by itself that I don't need to push
matters!
I use the verbal half-halt of "girls..." (including geldings), particularly
at the halt. I also have words, all English, some of them made up (or
inappropriately used, in the wrong context!), for the various trots and so
forth. If I call out an individual pony's name, it is almost always to
chastise the pony for being lazy (or for disobeying by making a face, trying
to hop into a lope, etc.). And they guilty pony knows why she's being
yelled at!
And "Ho" ALWAYS means "stop and do not move at all." It doesn't mean "slow
down a little" or "slow down a lot this time" or "almost stop" or "stop for
three seconds before inching off again" ... it means STOP!!! AND YOU DON'T
*** EVEN *** MOVE UNTIL I LET YOU!!!
Laura Crews
Country Roads Farm Welsh Ponies*
Virginia
*and Fancy Rats
"So long as I remain alive and well I shall continue to feel strongly about
prose style, to love the surface of the earth, and to take a pleasure in
solid objects and scraps of useless information." -- George Orwell, 1947
"?a story always sounds clear enough at a distance, but the nearer you get
to the scene of events the vaguer it becomes." ? George Orwell, 1936
Orwell accomplished something few authors have been able to do: he added
his name to the English language.
Yet a man and his work are inseparable: before he was George Orwell he was
Eric Blair; respect him -- remember discreetly his 100th birthday, 25 June
2003, and handle gently his little grain of dust.
REMEMBER: STUPIDITY IS A SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASE!
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