[COMP] Fw: Comprehending Engineers

Subject: Comprehending Engineers


| >
| > > Comprehending Engineers - Take One
| > >
| > > Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,
| > > "Where
| > > did you get such a great bike?"
| > >
| > > The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday
| > > minding my
| > > own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike.  She threw
the
| > >
| > > bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you
| > > want.'"
| > >
| > > The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes
| > > probably
| > > wouldn't have fit."
| > >
| > > =================================
| > > Comprehending Engineers - Take Two
| > >
| > > To the optimist, the glass is half full.
| > > To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
| > > To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
| > >
| > > ====================================
| > > Comprehending Engineers - Take Three
| > >
| > > A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
| > > particularly slow group of golfers.
| > >
| > > The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been
waiting
| > > for
| > > 15 minutes!"
| > >
| > > The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such
| > > ineptitude!"
| > >
| > > The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper.  Let's have a
word
| > > with
| > > him."
| > >
| > > "Hey George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather
| > > slow,
| > > aren't they?"
| > >
| > > The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind
| > > firefighters.
| > >
| > > They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so
we
| > > always let them play for free anytime."
| > >
| > > The group was silent for a moment.
| > >
| > > The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer
for
| > >
| > > them tonight."
| > >
| > > The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my
ophthalmologist
| > >
| > > buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
| > >
| > > The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
| > >
| > > ===================================
| > > Comprehending Engineers - Take Four
| > >
| > > There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all
things
| > > mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he
| > > happily
| > > retired. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a
| > > seemingly
| > > impossible problem they were having with one of their
| > > multimillion-dollar
| > > machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the
machine
| > > to
| > > work but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired,
| > > engineer
| > > who had solved so many of their problems in the past. The engineer
| > > reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge
| > > machine. At
| > > the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on particular
| > > component
| > > of the machine and stated,
| > >
| > > ................"This is where your problem is".
| > >
| > > The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The
| > > company
| > > received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. They
| > > demanded
| > > an itemized accounting of his charges. The engineer responded
briefly:
| > >
| > > One chalk mark $1 - knowing where to put it $49,999.
| > >
| > > It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.
| > >
| > > ===================================
| > > Comprehending Engineers - Take Five
| > >
| > > What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil
Engineers?
| > >
| > > Mechanical Engineers build weapons. Civil Engineers build targets.
| > >
| > > ==================================
| > > Comprehending Engineers - Take Six
| > >
| > > The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
| > >
| > > The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
| > >
| > > The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
| > >
| > > The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with
| > > that?"
| > >
| > > ====================================
| > > Comprehending Engineers - Take Seven
| > >
| > > "Normal people ... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
| > > Engineers
| > > believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet."
| > >
| > > ====================================
| > > Comprehending Engineers - Take Eight
| > >
| > > An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him
| > > and
| > > said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess".
| > >
| > > He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
| > >
| > > The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back
into
| > > a
| > > beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
| > >
| > > The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and
returned
| > > it
| > > to the pocket.
| > >
| > > The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
| > > princess,
| > > I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."
| > >
| > > Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back
into
| > > his
| > > pocket.
| > >
| > > Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
| > > beautiful
| > > princess that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want.
| > > Why
| > > won't you kiss me?"
| > >
| > > The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
| > > girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool.
| > >
| >
| ------------
|


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