A good live simmer is someone who is able to work within the plot and contribute to it. If they are not directly involved in the plot they are able to keep their character busy developing their character and or department. The same is true for email sims. Not everyone is going to be involved in every plot, however that does not mean that they cannot contribute in some manner. A good simmer, either live or chat is able to work with fellow simmers, develop subplots, maintain the storyline without needing all the attention. Just because your particular character is not directly involved in the storyline doesn't mean that you cannot participate in some form or another. The main goal is to realize it is just a game, a chance to escape the pressures of reality and to have fun with it. Try not to take yourself to seriously, it just makes it harder on you and those who sim with you.