[bct] Re: tech support

  • From: "Ray Foret Jr." <rforetjr@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: <blindcooltech@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Wed, 15 Mar 2006 13:37:39 -0600

Oh yeah, well, here's the most natural reply I can think of.

Dear Technical Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the 
new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space 
valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the 
product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches 
during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. 
such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 
no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run 
some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to 
7.0, but the uninstall does not work on this program. Can you help me, 



This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a 
primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 
the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run 
everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still 
convert back
to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause 
Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.

It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the 
system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0
is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or 
Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than with the original system. Look 
your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support".

I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. I suggest 
installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software 
Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire 
section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs).

You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, 
regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the 
C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of YES DEAR because ultimately 
you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will
return to normal.

The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs. 
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying 
software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and 
Diamonds 5.0.

Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. 
This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause 
damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

Sincerely yours,
The Constantly Barefoot,
Home phone and fax:
Skype Name:
Podcast xml feed:
God bless President George W. Bush!
God bless our troops!
and God bless America
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Lois Goodine" <al419@xxxxxxxxxxx>
To: "blindcooltech" <blindcooltech@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Wednesday, March 15, 2006 1:14 PM
Subject: [bct] tech support

Considering the trouble some of us have with tech support from various 
places, I
thought this might be appropriate in sort of a goofy way.

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0
...and noticed a
distinct slowdown in the overall performance,
particularly in the flower
and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly
under Boyfriend
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other
valuable programs such
as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then
programs such as NFL 5.0, NHL 4.3, PGA 3.0, and NBA
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6
simply crashes
the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix
these problems, to no
avail.  What can I do?
Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment
while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
Try to enter the command: C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME" to
Tears 6.2,
which should automatically install Guilt 3.0.   If
that application works as
Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the
applications Jewelry 2.0
and Flowers 3.5.
BUT remember, overuse of the above application can
cause Husband
1.0 to
default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer
WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will
create Snoring
CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law
1.0 or reinstall
another Boyfriend program. These are not supported
applications and
will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it
does have
limited memory and cannot learn new applications
quickly. You might
consider buying additional software to improve memory
I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 2.5.
Good Luck,
Tech Support

No virus found in this outgoing message.
Checked by AVG Free Edition.
Version: 7.1.385 / Virus Database: 268.2.2/280 - Release Date: 3/13/2006

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