[bct] Re: good question

  • From: "Hope Povenmire" <musicofhope@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: <blindcooltech@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Sun, 26 Feb 2006 01:21:07 -0500

Hello, Randy,
I believe that love will come when you least expect it, and if you open yourself to all possibilities, you'll be pleasantly surprised. It may not happen today, but tomorrow is a new day, full of a future you've not yet seen.

----- Original Message ----- From: "Lynnette" <superlynne@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: <blindcooltech@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Saturday, February 25, 2006 9:22 PM
Subject: [bct] Re: good question

Well written and I totaly echo your sentiments.
----- Original Message ----- From: "Tim Cross" <tcross@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: <blindcooltech@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Saturday, February 25, 2006 7:40 AM
Subject: [bct] good question

Hi Randy,

Thats a difficult and interesting issue you bring up. On one level, I
don't like the idea of dating someone who is also blind or vision
impaired because it seems a bit stereotyped and on another level, it
is probably true that someone who has a similar disability is going to
understand it more than someone who doesn't. However, I do think
people are able to understand and empathise with others without
necessarily having to experience the same reality. I would be very concerned about actively seeking a partner who has a
similar impairment. The person you want to share your life with should
be someone you feel a bond with which is based on more than similar
physical attributes. I think its far more important to just be open to
meeting someone you feel a bond to, regardless of their physical
abilities. If you should find someone who is also blind and there is a
great attraction between you, then thats great. However, to
actively look for someone who is blind to date is destined for
failure. In fact, actively searching for a partner is possibly
destined for failure and adding additional conditions, such as being
blind or vision impaired is even less likely to succeed. While we may want someone to share our life with and desire a partner
and/or marriage, I think its better to just let life take its course
and not actively pursue such a relationship. If you pursue something
like a partner, you are very likely to make wrong decisions and a lot
of mistakes. Instead, its better just to get on and enjoy
life. You may be lucky enough to meet someone you want to share your
life with and you may not. I strongly believe that a partner is
someone who should add to your life, make it better, but not something
you feel is needed to make it complete. Of course, having said that, I should be honest and say that I've not
been on a date since 1998. I've been out lots and I've lots of good
friends, nearly all of whom are married or dating. Unfortunately, I've
not met anyone I've felt any special connection with or the potential of
something special, for too many years now. Apparently dating for those
in their mid-40's is not great and I'd say for those in their
mid-40's, blind and living in a country town of only 20,000 people,
its near bloody impossible. I've been told by family and friends I'm
being too fussy. However, if the spark is not there, the spark is
simply not there and it would be wrong to pretend otherwise. Even if I
were to be less fussy (and I don't consider I'm being fussy by the
way), it would make no difference as I think I could count the number
of single women in my age group I've met in the last 7 years on one
hand. You can't date what isn't there. so Randy, my advice, for what little its worth, is to try and not
worry about it. Don't go looking for a blind partner. Be open to
meeting a partner, but don't force it or put artificial conditions on
it. I've met plenty of selfish irritating and abnoxious blind people -
having a similar disability doesn't necessarily make you a more or
less understanding individual.

Tim, sitting at home alone again on a saturday night having a couple
of nice cognacs with a nice expresso coffee and a bit of lint
chocolate, thinking how nice it would be to share this with someone,
but also thinking its pretty good to have it all to myself as well!

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