[bct] accepting blindness.doc

  • From: Tim Cross <tcross@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: blindcooltech@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Thu, 3 Nov 2005 19:38:04 +1100

Hi Everett,

You raise some very important and valid points. I have to admit that
when I did have some sight, I did try to hide my disability. I would
never read in public because I was self conscious about how close I
had to hold the book. It was a limitation I was imposing on myself. 

Now that all my sight is gone except for a bit of light/dark
perception, I have no choice and in some ways, it was a bit
liberating. However, if I could get my sight back tomorrow, I'd do
it. We learn to cope with what we have, but we don't necessarily enjoy
it. In fact, I now find for the first time in my life that I have to
fight an urge to be bitter about my situation. Of course, this is self
pity and self indulgent and not how I like to think of myself as a
person. 

At times I get very depressed about my situation because there are
just so many things I use to love doing that I now can't do and
sometimes I hate the higher level of dependency I have on others -
especially for those things I use to do on my own. However, when this
happens, part of me knows it will eventually pass and I just take
things one day at a time. so far, the depression passes and I just get
on with life and do what I can and find enjoyment where I can. Still,
I do miss some things. 

I sometimes wonder, possibly unfairly, if its easier to cope with
blindness if you are blind from birth than if you loose sight later in
life. Obviously blindness is a hassle no matter when it occured and
this feeling is probably part of the "grass is greener on the other
side of the valley" syndrome. I guess we all have our own demons to
deal with.

Tim



Everett Latta writes:
 > Being blind is no fun and I do not believe anyone would choose it as their
 > disability of choice. I have struggled with my various stages of blindness
 > for 34 years going from 20/30 to total blindness.  I am constantly learning
 > some things about myself and how I deal with my world and the people in it. 
 > 
 >  
 > 
 > I never wanted to display the outward signs of my vision loss by carrying a
 > cane.  I worried more about how people would treat me than concerns for my
 > safety.  Now, I am older and wiser.  I carry a cane and although it is still
 > a struggle not to care what other people think about my blindness I actively
 > deal with it. 
 > 
 > \
 > 
 > When we as blind people refuse to accept our vision loss and we still want
 > to be thought of as sighted we do ourselves a disservice.  It is telling the
 > sighted world it is awful to be blind and we should pity them.  
 > 
 >  
 > 
 > Our family and friends have done many of us a disservice by allowing us to
 > develop poor social skills and habits by feeling sorry for us and wanting to
 > minimize our condition by doing everything for us thus making us even more
 > dependant on them for our care. 
 > 
 >  
 > 
 > When you behave and act helpless then you fulfill the stereotype image most
 > people have of blind people.  If you don't try you will never succeed at
 > anything. Accidents and messes happen and that is ok just learn from it.  
 > 
 >  
 > 
 > I am not adventurous by nature so I don't just go wandering around town but
 > I admire those blind people who do it.  When I need to go somewhere I do
 > what is necessary to get done what needs getting done because no one else is
 > going to do it for me. 
 > 
 >  
 > 
 > I ask for help and guidance when I need it and I do not refuse help when
 > offered.  I decided a long time ago why should I deprive someone of an
 > opportunity to give help because if I constantly refuse and tell them I can
 > do it myself one day when I really need help it won't be offered. 
 > 
 >  
 > 
 > The fear of not trying because of how you might look or you may do something
 > wrong is the prison of isolation and helplessness we place ourselves in.   
 > 
 >  
 > 
 >  
 > 
 > Everett Latta
 > 
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 > 
 > <p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
 > font-family:Arial'>Being blind is no fun and I do not believe anyone would
 > choose it as their disability of choice. I have struggled with my various
 > stages of blindness for 34 years going from 20/30 to total blindness.&nbsp; 
 > I am
 > constantly learning some things about myself and how I deal with my world and
 > the people in it. <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
 > 
 > <p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
 > font-family:Arial'><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></font></p>
 > 
 > <p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
 > font-family:Arial'>I never wanted to display the outward signs of my vision
 > loss by carrying a cane.&nbsp; I worried more about how people would treat 
 > me than
 > concerns for my safety.&nbsp; Now, I am older and wiser.&nbsp; I carry a 
 > cane and although
 > it is still a struggle not to care what other people think about my 
 > blindness I
 > actively deal with it. <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
 > 
 > <p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
 > font-family:Arial'>\<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
 > 
 > <p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
 > font-family:Arial'>When we as blind people refuse to accept our vision loss 
 > and
 > we still want to be thought of as sighted we do ourselves a 
 > disservice.&nbsp; It is
 > telling the sighted world it is awful to be blind and we should pity 
 > them.&nbsp; <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
 > 
 > <p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
 > font-family:Arial'><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></font></p>
 > 
 > <p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
 > font-family:Arial'>Our family and friends have done many of us a disservice 
 > by
 > allowing us to develop poor social skills and habits by feeling sorry for us
 > and wanting to minimize our condition by doing everything for us thus making 
 > us
 > even more dependant on them for our care. <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
 > 
 > <p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
 > font-family:Arial'><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></font></p>
 > 
 > <p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
 > font-family:Arial'>When you behave and act helpless then you fulfill the 
 > stereotype
 > image most people have of blind people.&nbsp; If you don&#8217;t try you 
 > will never
 > succeed at anything. Accidents and messes happen and that is ok just learn 
 > from
 > it.&nbsp; <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
 > 
 > <p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
 > font-family:Arial'><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></font></p>
 > 
 > <p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
 > font-family:Arial'>I am not adventurous by nature so I don&#8217;t just go
 > wandering around town but I admire those blind people who do it.&nbsp; When 
 > I need
 > to go somewhere I do what is necessary to get done what needs getting done 
 > because
 > no one else is going to do it for me. <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
 > 
 > <p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
 > font-family:Arial'><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></font></p>
 > 
 > <p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
 > font-family:Arial'>I ask for help and guidance when I need it and I do not
 > refuse help when offered.&nbsp; I decided a long time ago why should I 
 > deprive
 > someone of an opportunity to give help because if I constantly refuse and 
 > tell
 > them I can do it myself one day when I really need help it won&#8217;t be
 > offered. <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
 > 
 > <p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
 > font-family:Arial'><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></font></p>
 > 
 > <p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
 > font-family:Arial'>The fear of not trying because of how you might look or 
 > you
 > may do something wrong is the prison of isolation and helplessness we place
 > ourselves in.&nbsp; &nbsp;<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
 > 
 > <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span 
 > style='font-size:
 > 12.0pt'><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></font></p>
 > 
 > <p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span 
 > style='font-size:
 > 12.0pt'><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></font></p>
 > 
 > <p class=MsoNormal><st1:City w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on"><font size=3
 >   face="Times New Roman"><span 
 > style='font-size:12.0pt'>Everett</span></font></st1:place></st1:City>
 > Latta</p>
 > 
 > </div>
 > 
 > </body>
 > 
 > </html>

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