[bct] Re: Teasing

  • From: "Maria" <malyn87@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: <blindcooltech@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Fri, 3 Feb 2006 10:13:37 -0500

Dan, for God's sake, you missed your calling.  You should have been an
author of tall tales books.  You Paul Bunyon you.


----- Original Message ----- 
From: "The Scarlet Wombat" <coconut@xxxxxxx>
To: <blindcooltech@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Wednesday, February 01, 2006 6:54 PM
Subject: [bct] Re: Teasing

> Beth, I did that once.  It is an experience I, nor the fine citizens of
> Shady Cove, California, will never forget.  I dumped a bottle of Scotch
> into the community fish pond, in front of city hall, late one Saturday
> night after the local policeman had passed out in his car from too many
> doughnuts.  I emptied the whole bottle, 750 ml, into the pond and beat
> out of there.
> About seven the next morning, there was a god-awful roaring noise from the
> direction of city hall.  I never figured it had anything to do with the
> Scotch, so got on my bike and sped that direction to see what the
> was.
> When I arrived, or rather, tried to arrive, there were about a thousand
> people there yelling and jostling to get a view.  I elbowed my way through
> the crowd and saw something that I will never forget.  The goldfish in the
> pond, they actually called them Coi, had grown, I don't mean a little, I
> mean to ten foot monsters.  They also had somehow, developed the ability
> breathe air as they were flopping all over the pavement around the fish
> pond and walking on their fins.  There was, what can only be called, a
> gigantic bar fight among the fish.  One would rear up and slap another
> its fins, and then be hit from behind by another fish who had launched
> himself, or was it herself, from the steps of city hall.  Not only were
> they all in this incredible fight, as we watched, they were
> growing.  Within five minutes, each was twenty feet long and three had
> burst through the doors of city hall and were tearing the innards out of
> the building.
> There were about twenty five of these monsters, and in an hour, each was
> the size of a semi tractor and trailor and had clogged Interstate 5 and
> caused the biggest traffic jam of the 20th century.
> It was hard to believe this all came from just one bottle of Scotch.
> After the last fish had disappeared down the interstate, the janitor just
> stood there in a daze.  I asked him what happened, as if I did not
> know.  He shook his head and just muttered, "There's one missing, I had 26
> fish in there, there are only 25, where's the last one?"  Just then, a
> thunderous noise came from city hall, itself, and the building rose and
> crumbled as a fish, possibly 300 feet long, flashed up from the sewers and
> flew off.  Yup, you should have seen the one who got away.
> Dan, see what Scotch will do?

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