[bct] Re: Teasing

  • From: "Neal Ewers" <neal.ewers@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: <blindcooltech@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Wed, 1 Feb 2006 17:59:55 -0600

Dan, just think what would have happened had you imbibed that particular
bottle of scotch.  Or, does combining it with swimming pool water
somehow render it more potent?

Neal, Neal, Neal, Neal.  No, there is only one Neal there, you've just
been drinking.

-----Original Message-----
From: blindcooltech-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:blindcooltech-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of The Scarlet
Sent: Wednesday, February 01, 2006 5:54 PM
To: blindcooltech@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [bct] Re: Teasing

Beth, I did that once.  It is an experience I, nor the fine citizens of 
Shady Cove, California, will never forget.  I dumped a bottle of Scotch 
into the community fish pond, in front of city hall, late one Saturday 
night after the local policeman had passed out in his car from too many 
doughnuts.  I emptied the whole bottle, 750 ml, into the pond and beat
out of there.

About seven the next morning, there was a god-awful roaring noise from
direction of city hall.  I never figured it had anything to do with the 
Scotch, so got on my bike and sped that direction to see what the

When I arrived, or rather, tried to arrive, there were about a thousand 
people there yelling and jostling to get a view.  I elbowed my way
the crowd and saw something that I will never forget.  The goldfish in
pond, they actually called them Coi, had grown, I don't mean a little, I

mean to ten foot monsters.  They also had somehow, developed the ability
breathe air as they were flopping all over the pavement around the fish 
pond and walking on their fins.  There was, what can only be called, a 
gigantic bar fight among the fish.  One would rear up and slap another
its fins, and then be hit from behind by another fish who had launched 
himself, or was it herself, from the steps of city hall.  Not only were 
they all in this incredible fight, as we watched, they were 
growing.  Within five minutes, each was twenty feet long and three had 
burst through the doors of city hall and were tearing the innards out of

the building.

There were about twenty five of these monsters, and in an hour, each was

the size of a semi tractor and trailor and had clogged Interstate 5 and 
caused the biggest traffic jam of the 20th century.

It was hard to believe this all came from just one bottle of Scotch.

After the last fish had disappeared down the interstate, the janitor
stood there in a daze.  I asked him what happened, as if I did not 
know.  He shook his head and just muttered, "There's one missing, I had
fish in there, there are only 25, where's the last one?"  Just then, a 
thunderous noise came from city hall, itself, and the building rose and 
crumbled as a fish, possibly 300 feet long, flashed up from the sewers
flew off.  Yup, you should have seen the one who got away.

Dan, see what Scotch will do? 

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