[bct] Re: Relationships

  • From: "Neal Ewers" <ewers@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: <blindcooltech@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Wed, 2 Nov 2005 08:48:19 -0600

A friend once gave my wife and I some silverware with completely round
handles.  Well now, it's fun to stick a fork into your mouth sideways.
I know, one can figure it out by noting how it lay on the table and
keeping it in that orientation.  Right, just try it.  It's lots of fun.


-----Original Message-----
From: blindcooltech-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:blindcooltech-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of LARRY SKUTCHAN
Sent: Wednesday, November 02, 2005 8:23 AM
To: blindcooltech@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [bct] Re: Relationships

My wife at the time bought some silverware like that, and I hated it
from day one.

One trick on the knife thing is to gently slide an edge of the knife
across one of the tines on the fork to see if it is the edge of the
knife with serrations.

>>> across@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Wednesday, November 02, 2005 3:49:15 AM >>>


I agree - I hate it when people do things because they think you need
them to. To be honest, until it started being discussed here, I didn't
ever consider some blind people whould get others to cut up their meat
etc. About the only time I have problems is when using some knives and
forks which, due to their design, are difficult to orient correctly.
Sometimes, you cannot tell which way a fork curves just by holding the
handle or which side of the knife is the sharper slightly serated side.
I have had friends occasionally say to me, Tim, you have your knife
upside down.


Rose Combs writes:
 > Only time I really asked to have meat cut up was in a restaurant when
my  > husband had one badly sprained arm and one broken one.  However, I
have been  > a few places where they don't even ask, and this may sound
weird, but that  > really annoys me.  I'd prefer to ask if I need it and
to have it left alone  > unless I specifically ask.  
 > Rose Combs
 > rosecombs@xxxxxxxxx 
 > -----Original Message-----
 > From: blindcooltech-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx 
 > [mailto:blindcooltech-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of boomerdad  >
Sent: Monday, October 31, 2005 4:42 PM  > To:
 > Subject: [bct] Re: Relationships
 > I'd love to hear that podcast as well.
 > I've never been very good at cutting meat.  I tend to just ask the
server to  > 
 > have my meat cut into bite-sized pieces in the kitchen, and that is
 > always a success.
 > ----- Original Message ----- 
 > From: "Jamie Pauls" <jamiepauls@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
 > To: <blindcooltech@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
 > Sent: Monday, October 31, 2005 9:10 AM
 > Subject: [bct] Re: Relationships
 > > That was about as enjoyable as listening to a career cast. Well
 > > You mentioned allowing your spouse to help with cutting a steak.
 > > is something I let my wife do quite a lot for several years, but I
 > > trying to become more proficient at cutting meat. Why am I rambling
 > > about cutting meat? Because for several weeks now I considered
 > > Larry to do a podcast on restaurant etiquette. Does he ever accept

 > > help with any food items? Does he stay away from things that are 
 > > difficult? Does being sighted
 > > previously put him in a better position to deal with food items
 > > someone
 > > who has been blind since birth? The NFB makes asking for help in a
> > restaurant seem like a crime. If I am misreading their philosophy, I
will  > > stand corrected. I will admit that when I am out with the guys
it is a bit  > > awkward to ask for help with cutting meat; much more
awkward than when 
 > > it's
 > > just my wife and me. This is why I am working to really increase my
skills  > > in this area. I'd be interested in hearing from others on
this subject.  > > Incidentally, I didn't find anything to speak of
regarding dining

 > > etiquette
 > > last time I checked Fred's Head, although I did find my own
AccessWatch  > > site. That was cool. I'll be braced and ready for any
responses I get to  > > this post. (smile) Don't be too hard on me.
Thanks and happy Halloween.  > >  > > -----Original Message-----  > >
From: blindcooltech-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx 
 > > [mailto:blindcooltech-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Rose Combs
> > Sent: Sunday, October 30, 2005 9:04 PM  > > To:
 > > Subject: [bct] Relationships
 > >
 > > I'd like to comment on relationships but I am not able to do
 > > at this point.  As I mentioned previously, my husband is working on

 > > his Master's degree and his time is limited to help me this weekend
 > > he has a project due tomorrow.  For anyone interested, he is
 > > his degree through University of Phoenix online program, so, he
 > > has to leave home
 > > to attend a class but there is a lot of teamwork and projects he
has to  > > complete for each class he takes, and he is about half way
through his  > > program right now.  > >  > > We have been married for
30 years last May.  Tom is partial vision, 
 > > and
 > > the
 > > ability to use it fairly well.  He does comment to me often that
 > > seem
 > > to be annoyed with him because he does not recognize them if they
 > > really
 > > far away and wave at him or something.  Oddly enough, he has to
take off 
 > > his
 > > glasses to read which can be a problem if he forgets where he laid
them  > > down, I generally know where he has been if he does not.  > >
> > We have had our problems, of course, and as neither of us can see
 > > enough to drive, we depend on public transportation a lot, or
 > > and family occasionally.  However, Tom does see fairly well and
 > > competent to ride a bicycle.  Since we are in Arizona, we ride our

 > > tandem to and from
 > > work, to the store and to places that are reasonably close.  We
have large  > > saddle baskets on the back and it it is amazing some of
the things we have  > > carried home on it.  In 30 years we have had
maybe four accidents, none of  > > which was our fault, three different
cars have pulled out and hit the back  > > of the bike, damaging the
baskets two times, once we went down in some 
 > > slimy
 > > mud on a bike path a fall that happened so quick it was almost like
we hit  > > the ground before we fell, and I broke my collarbone in two
places, and we  > > were going about two miles per hour when it
happened.  > >  > > People around the area are used to seeing us, wonder
where we are if 
 > > we
 > > are
 > > absent for too long.
 > >
 > > My husband tends not to be organized, he thinks that if he put 
 > > something back in the same room he got it from it is perfectly OK,
 > > it drives me crazy, not only do I have to hunt for it again, so
 > > he because he cannot remember where he put it.  I tried the break
 > > habit early in the marriage by peppering his popcorn when he put
 > > pepper where I normally put the salt, but, alas, it got a laugh but

 > > did not teach him anything.
 > >
 > > I remember one Christmas time when I had a severe cold but was
 > > of lying in bed so I decided to clean up the desk and the end table

 > > near it. I dumped everything in the trash and then discovered a
 > > of weeks later that I had also dumped our unpaid bills which
 > > why the checking account seemed fuller than normal.  It was funny
 > > some of the utilities did not see it that way.  Since then I don't

 > > mess with the printed papers.
 > >
 > > There is a lot of give and take in a long-term relationship, and
 > > are times when I do not understand things from tom's perspective
 > > he does not always understand mine but we sometimes have to agree
 > > disagree.
 > >
 > > On the other hand, in the early 1980's when I was learning about  >
> computers,  > > Tom read a lot of the books to me despite the fact
that it was not always  > > easy for him.  In 2002 after he broke his
arm I attended an Oracle class  > > with him to carry his flipper-port
camera and set it up and to do his 
 > > typing
 > > so he could finish the course.  The only thing I did not do was
help with  > > the final, not that I could have given him any answers,
but by that point 
 > > he
 > > was typing a bit better despite the cast.
 > >
 > > Early on I tried to do everything for myself, cutting up my own
 > > insisting I did not need help.  In 1989 I had to have a glomus
 > > removed from my left ear and for a few months had absolutely no 
 > > hearing on that side, and during the healing process there were
 > > things I could not do well due to weakness in my left hand and
 > > was not connected to my ear
 > > but the surgery did cause some weakness.  I started letting him
help more,  > > and now it is almost routine that he will cut up a steak
for me, except 
 > > when
 > > he had his broken arm, then I had to do it for both of us.  He had
to help  > > me even more in 1997 when I broke my collarbone, again on
the left but 
 > > doing
 > > things like combing my hair hurt even when I was using my right
arm.  I 
 > > was
 > > in this figure-of-eight brace and could not even get dressed
without help.  > > Of course, the first couple of weeks after he broke
his arm I had to help  > > him dress, and It isn't easy to dress an
adult male.  > >  > > I gave tom information on University of Phoenix in
1996 after I signed 
 > > up
 > > on
 > > CompuServe, and he was at a point in his life where he wanted and
needed a  > > change so he pursued the BS degree he had abandoned nearly
30 years 
 > > before.
 > > When he said he thought he wanted a Master's degree I told him to
go for 
 > > it
 > > we'd rearrange things so he could have the time to do that.  It
means our  > > social life is almost nonexistent at the moment but I am
an avid reader so  > 
 > > I
 > > don't mind all that much.
 > >
 > > We don't do a lot except our jobs where we are not together.  We
 > > together, vacation together (I know people who do not), we prefer
 > > go to parties together.  Tom prefers TV, I prefer books, he is a 
 > > sports fanatic, I could care less but those things we work around.
> >  > > In some ways for me it is like having a sighted husband but
then again 
 > > it
 > > is
 > > not.  Tom has always been willing to describe things for me,
movies, items  > > at the store, even sporting events I am not
particularly interested in. 
 > > He
 > > is fortunate to be able to use the vision he has well.  I am not
 > > how
 > > he would handle vision loss, for now he would never carry a cane,
although  > > he never objects when I have one with me.  I know he would
definitely feel  > > the loss should it ever happen to him but I have
confidence that together 
 > > we
 > > would get through it.
 > >
 > >
 > >
 > > After 30 years I cannot imagine having this type of relationship
with  > > anyone  > > else.  > >  > >  > >  > >  > >  > >  > >  > >  > >
> >  > > Rose Combs  > > rosecombs@xxxxxxxxx 
 > >
 > >
 > >
 > >
 > >
 > >
 > > 


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