[bksvol-discuss] Re: ten validations
- From: "Sarah Van Oosterwijck" <curiousentity@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <bksvol-discuss@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Mon, 20 Jun 2005 13:08:23 -0500
I am only writing this to give suggestions I find helpful not with the idea
that I am any kind of expert in interpersonal communications, because I am
not. I just try really hard. :-)
The problem is that it is nearly impossible to hear what you wrote as
someone else would hear it, because you hear how you meant to say it if you
were speaking it. The reader may hear it very differently, and sometimes
they will be affected by what they are thinking while reading and sometimes
by the way the synthesizer reads it. They might even start reading
critically because they have seen the name of the message's sender, who
they have some previous issue with. Still it can be somewhat useful to read
your own posts before sending, because at times you will find that the
message does not really sound the way you thought it would when you were
writing it. After all during the writing process you are just trying to get
what you hear flying through your mind typed before your words and thoughts
escape. :-)
I find that if I have major concerns or am a little upset I can write
something that I later notice is rude even when I thought I was taming down
what I said to be nice. When I am in a lecturing frame of mind I will try
to read my message with the idea of feeling how an easily upset person
looking for a complaint would read it. I hope my results have been
successful. :-) At least the exercise is informative and can help me write
somewhat more clearly and kindly when I wish to in the future.
When I write instructions I also try to make myself read them as if I was
an easily confused person. I just remember how I felt the last time I was
doing something totally new and strange to me with some complicated
directions, and I try to follow my own directions as if I knew nothing
about the process. Confusion and frustration caused by trying to do a
great job with something new can really unbalance a person. I knew a lot
about computers, and had scanned plenty before joining bookshare, but when
I first started volunteering I felt a bit overwelmed just because it was
something new. I wanted to produce perfect books, but there were so many
people's standards to meet instead of only my own as it was when I just
scanned books for my own use. Just try to remember that it is possible to
feel that way and your reader might.
When you are the reader of a message written by someone else you can always
try to interpret what they wrote in the best possible light, but if you
still find it upsetting or possibly insulting, write to the person who
wrote it and tell them you would like to know what they meant or why they
wrote it because it sounded . to you. There is sometimes something quite
satisfying about chewing someone out in public and I am often tempted, but
I know it doesn't usually do a lot of good and usually just creates a
bigger mess. In this case the bookshare list is public and a very volatile
public forum at that. :-)
Now everyone feel free to write me, off list of course, and tell me just
how you really felt about this message. LOL
Sarah Van Oosterwijck
Assistive Technology Instructor
http://home.earthlink.net/~netentity
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