There is a contest for people to write these things on purpose? EEE, OOO, UGGGH.
When I ran a science fiction club, we came up with the idea of a meeting where each person would bring an example the most cliche ridden, purplest and most inconsistent prose they could find and read it aloud. Kind of like the opposite of "found art."
Misha Carrie Karnos wrote:
About halfway through this sentence, I start screaming, "Make it stop!
Make it stop!" For me, this is THE worst opening line ever:
She wasn't really my type, a hard-looking but untalented
reporter from the local cat box liner, but the first
second that the third-rate representative of the fourth
estate cracked open a new fifth of old Scotch, my sixth
sense said seventh heaven was as close as an eighth note
from Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, so, nervous as a tenth
grader drowning in eleventh-hour cramming for a physics
exam, I swept her into my longing arms, and, humming "The
Twelfth of Never," I got lucky on Friday the thirteenth.
--Wm. W. "Buddy" Ocheltree, Port Townsend, Washington
(1993 Winner)
See what I mean??
Carrie
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