[bksvol-discuss] Re: How I read

  • From: Elizabeth and Burton <thoth93@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: bksvol-discuss@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Sun, 03 Dec 2006 22:57:24 -0500

I agree. I think the idea of being blind puts them in terror. Given the way some folks act when they have sight I have always said they are correct to be terrified as they would die out there behaving as they do and being blind. (grin) I particularly refer to some of the walk as you talk on the cell phone types but my comments were true long before cell phones. How can folks who see run into me? With my dog I am six feet wide. And I hear they drive like they walk. Amazing!!


E.


At 05:15 PM 12/3/2006, you wrote:
I imagine he had quite a fabulous time stumbling around his apartment. I'm often surprised that people assume that, by blindfolding themselves for a short time, they'll get an accurate idea of how it is to be blind. If I were in an unfamiliar place, and without a cane or guide dog, I'd probably almost break my neck too.

As for why people are so in awe, and feel the need to speak of it, I guess it's because sight is so central to their lives. They can't really get their heads around a life without it. So, things that we take for granted, like walking around and such, seem monumental to them.

Considering that a white cane is used quite differently from a cane one would use if they had a bad knee, I find the incident you described with your friend quite humorous.

Shannon

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----- Original Message ----- From: "Natalie B." <lemina007@xxxxxxxxxxx>
To: <bksvol-discuss@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Sunday, December 03, 2006 10:06 AM
Subject: [bksvol-discuss] Re: How I read


Wow. I've been reading all these reactions, and I'm amazed at some of the things people hav been sharing. For myself, I've had people comment to me on my blindness, but not like what I've been hearing.

Personally, if I'm walking with someone, I don't mind answering their questions. I had too much of peoples ignorance in high school to not feel the need to offer whatever enlightenment I can. In high school I had a girl say to my face that I could walk around, but I was supposedly blind. So therefore she said, I must be faking it. I was so angry with that, and being the teenager I was, could think of nothing to respond to that and just walked away. Then, later in that same year, I had one of my best friends question me about my cane. I didn't take her questions very seriously until she got under the table I was sitting at and start squeezing my knee. I looked under the table and said, what in the world are you doing? And she replied, checking your knee. And I asked, uh, why? For some dumb reason, she thought that my cane was because I had a bad knee!

With those two incidents, you can imagine how I feel now, as an adult, my need to answer any questions fired my way. Within reason, of course.

But, I would have to say, the most frustrating incident happened not that long ago. The city-run service in which handicap people can use sent a van to pick me up. The driver was real friendly and talkative, but the whole ride home all he could talk about was how impressed he was with me, and that he was in awe of people who are blind. To this I asked, why, and he responded that I was able to walk around, go to school, and live life despite my blindness.. As subtley as I could, because I hate being rude, I told the guy that unfortunately, I don't have any choice. But he either didn't hear me or something like that, because he just kept waxing on and on about how he tried to blindfold himself once while in his apartment, and nearly broke his neck tripping over his coffee table. So, he was just amazed and impressed by blind people.

My question to people like this, is, why do they say stuff like this? It's either learn to be independent and find ways to do things or stay at home, shrivel up and die.

Natalie B.



"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference."
-Reinhold Niebuhr
----- Original Message ----- From: "solsticesinger" <solsticesinger25@xxxxxxxxx>
To: <bksvol-discuss@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Sunday, December 03, 2006 5:10 AM
Subject: [bksvol-discuss] Re: How I read


I was standing by the door at the university, waiting for my ride, and this lady comes up to me and says, "You're so brave." I asked her why, and she said she didn't know exactly why. I just was. So, I began to wonder whether I was brave for attending grad school, or for waiting alone for a ride.

I don't always have the patience to educate people either. I do try, but the role of constant educator gets old fast, especially if people are insensitive to start with.

Shannon

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----- Original Message ----- From: "Lora" <loravara@xxxxxxxxxxx>
To: <bksvol-discuss@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Friday, December 01, 2006 10:49 PM
Subject: [bksvol-discuss] Re: How I read


Hi E.,

I completely agree. People remark on everyday tasks I take for granted, and
treat them as mysterious and marvelous.  I've been complimented for walking
down stairs, for crossing streets, even for going to get my mail.

And those who ask personal questions, like, "How do you get dressed for work
in the morning?" don't seem to care that they're being intrusive.  They
think they have the right.

And sometimes I just don't know how to respond.  The co-worker who
complimented me for walking down two flights of stairs angered me so much
that I wanted to turn and snap at her. But every instinct demands that I be
professional at work.  Some might say I should have educated her, but I
don't always have the patience to be instructive, and sometimes I feel I
have the right to be angry or frustrated.  Of course, if we give into that,
then we're somehow angry about our disability, which is the furthest thing
from the truth.  I just don't want it to be what defines me to others, and
sometimes, no matter how I try, that seems to be all they see.

On a positive note, the team I'm on treats me as an equal, for better or
worse.  I take my turn at overtime, with the on-call pager, everything, and
they know that I can get it done.  I'm assigned projects, from small things
to large-scale efforts that everyone will see the results of, and no one
questions my ability to complete my assigned duties.





-----Original Message-----
From: bksvol-discuss-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:bksvol-discuss-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Elizabeth and
Burton
Sent: Friday, December 01, 2006 9:41 PM
To: bksvol-discuss@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [bksvol-discuss] Re: How I read

Actually that bothers me too. I am also bothered by strangers walking up to
me and saying "I have never watched a blind person ((fill in the blank such
as eat a salad or do some task.)  I am happy to talk about myself but this
is different than having no boundaries where my being blind means I am on
display for the interest of others or need to interrupt what I am doing to
discuss my life with you.

I am also amazed at the fact that total strangers have come up to me and
asked me things about my personal life.  It would never occur to me to walk
up to someone and say "Do you live alone?" "Do you have children?" and such.
I mean if I am having a conversation with you you might ask me that if you
knew me a bit but total strangers somehow figure they have the right to ask
personal things because we are visibly disabled.

E.

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