[birdky] Bird watchen

Howdy, I forgit what county I live in, but I believe it's somewhere in KY.  I 
wanna report a pair of cowbirds nesting in my cedar tree,.  They git really 
upset when I come by.  When they fly they have a whistling sound..  Their nest 
is bilt with sloppy sticks.  I know they are cowbirds cause when I see them on 
the telephone wire they say Moo-ah-Moo-moo-moo.  Almost sounds like an owl.  

Anyway, I had a pair of chimney sweeps on my chimney.  They hang around there 
all winter and they still hang around.  I noticed in the winter their bill was 
black, probably from the soot of the chimney.  Now the soot is fallen off their 
bill and speckles on their body are gone and they are prettier with a nice 
yellow sharp pointed beak.  I have some barn martins that also hung around the 
barn all winter.  The chimney sweep and the barn martin would come down and eat 
my bird seed.  But there was a night hawk hanging around the tree trying to nab 
one of these birds.

  I have all kind of peckerwoods in my back yard.  I got one peckerwood, a 
little one, with a black crown and a bluish gray back that creeps down the 
tree.  This must be a downy peckerwood.  I have a wood hen hollerin in the 
woods.  probably needs to find a woodcock to mate with.  

I gotta bunch of whippoorwills callin in the holler..  One whippoorwill doesn't 
even know it's own call.  It says Pluck Your Fiddle!  My grandpa spotted 
whippoorwills milkin cows.  He said one was milkin a cow on one udder while a 
cowsnake was milkin the other udder!  One whippoorwill tried to milk Bozo the 
bull, and Grandpa said that bull aint never been the same.

Walkin down the gravel I see these Killdees.  They act real funny, their wings 
hangin down, walkin funny.  I think they musta got into ole Leroy's moonshine!  
I saw them Chickenhawks and crows were chasing them off.  That's why they are 
called Chicken Hawks!  

An old friend got me a martin house last year and these black birds tried to 
nest in it.  These black birds were funny.  They skimmed the lake to drink 
water and they have long pointed wings.  I got my shotgun and shot them all cuz 
I don't want no funny lookin black birds at my martin house  Unfortunately I 
destroyed the house.  I bilt me a bluebird house and stuck some bread crumbs in 
the house to attrack the little blue birds as a house warmin gift, but they 
aint shown up!

The pond I have has this blue crane that hangs around there and it had a bunch 
a black chicks.  They got the prettiest funny white bill.  But when the black 
chicks walked on the grass, last winter, their feet were deformed.  They had 
long skinny toes.  I hope nobody put no disease in my pond!

The yellow canaries and the bluebirds finally come back.  They musta taken a 
bath in muddy water, cuz some have brown on them!   Buncha dumb birds!  

I found some bald eagles eatin some possums on the road.  I identified them as 
bald eagles cus they have no feathers on their head.  Buzzerds were circling 
them.  

It's funny I get these baby jaybirds that never grow up!  They always grab a 
sunflower seed between their feet and eat them up!   And the wren has a bib on 
it with black and white racing stripes on his head.  It probly needs a white 
bib cuz it kicks up the birdseed and scatters it.

Buncha barn owls keep hootin in my woods.

Just to let you know, I am the most expert birdwatcher this side of the 
Mississippi and maybe the other side.  I taught Braynert Pommerboll everything 
he knows about birds!  If anybody has any questions about birdwatchin just ask 
me!  Git your field bincerlers ready.  

 Homer Buford..

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