<USS Avalon> Why Worry Skyler, Moreya (guest NPC) Cmdr Skyler

  
Why Worry
Skyler, Moreya (guest NPC)

Baby when I get down I turn to  you
And you make sense of what I do
 

Moreya stretched slowly as she sat in the lounge chair  on Starbase 12's main 
observation deck.  A vast panorama of stars stretched  out before her, 
brightened occasionally by the flare of a collapsing warp field  as ships 
arrived or 
departed.  In her left hand she held a long, narrow  isolinear chip, and with 
careful motions she wove it back and forth, turning it  end over end through 
her fingers.
 
It contained a holodeck program, and a message.  She  was due for home leave. 
 Far overdue, really, and she could feel the  emptiness of homesickness -- 
and other needs -- beginning to gnaw at her being  like carpenter ants through 
a 
beam.  But her oaths to Starfleet came first  and she would have to make do 
as best she could.  Hence the program, sent  from home.
 
She was not so occupied with her own thoughts, however,  that she couldn't 
sense that there was someone else nearby.  A familiar  tangle of awareness and 
scents, swathed -- as it so often was -- in deep  pain.
 
Skyler, Moreya thought.  I wonder how she has come  here.  She considered 
getting up to look for her friend, but decided to  wait.  If experience was any 
guide, Skyler would try to seek her  out.
 
How well she did that, Moreya thought, beginning to turn  the chip between 
her fingers again, would determine what happened  next.
 
Skyler was pacing around the Starbase trying to decide if  she should bother 
her friend. She knew that whatever Moreya was doing she would  take time out 
of her schedule to see her. The problem was did Skyler want to  intrude once 
again, in someone else's life? She hadn't been ordered to have an  official 
evaluation, yet she knew in her own mind, that something was wrong.  What 
person 
in their right mind would do to themselves what she had  done?

Moreya was always able to somehow able to see through Skyler  and get to the 
brunt of the problem.  Perhaps it would be a good idea to  stop in and see 
her. First she needed to get something to quench her parched  throat. To that 
end 
she made her way to the lounge on the main observation deck.  

As she approached the lounge she got the feeling that she was  being watched. 
She stopped to look out at the stars and the various ships  surrounding the 
Starbase. She could see the Avalon tethered like a horse  tied to a corral 
post. It wasn't often that Skyler saw the Avalon from this  aspect and it was 
an 
awe-inspiring sight. Shaking the feeling that she was being  watched she 
proceeded to the bar and ordered herself a glass of Ice Tea and  looked for a 
place 
to sit.

As she was looking for that seat, she  caught sight of Moreya, stretched out 
like a cat.  She appeared to be deep  in thought, almost as if she were 
waiting for someone to appear. "Could she be  waiting for me?" wondered Skyler. 
Taking her drink she made her way over to her  friend.

"Moreya, my friend, is this seat taken? If you have a few  moments I would 
like to speak with you." Skyler still had some faint bruising  and her color 
still was not as it should be. She was walking with some stiffness  and tried 
to 
hide it. She knew Moreya would pick up on the nuances no matter how  minor or 
small. Perhaps that was what Skyler was counting onâ
 
Moreya straightened up, turning to look at Skyler full on.  "Of course," she 
said.  "I always have time for you!"  As Skyler  dropped into the next seat, 
Moreya said, "What happened to you?  You look  like you fought a whole band of 
Klingons and lost."
 
"Actually it was more like one lone man in a one piece  black suit, over the 
course of a few days. I suppose one shouldn't play in the  holodeck with the 
safeties off."  Skyler sat there waiting for Moreya to  jump down her throat 
just as everyone else had, but she had a feeling that her  friend would have a 
more subtle way of doing it.
 
"It's generally not considered a good idea, unless one has  a death wish -- 
and there are easier ways of achieving that," the Deltan said  gently, after 
taking a slow, deep breath.  "What were you trying to  prove?"

Skyler knew she had just been chewed out in Moreya's own  silent way. That 
was one of the reasons she respected her, she was honest and  true to a fault. 
At times that was what Skyler needed.  âIt's a rather  complicated story or 
mess, depending on your point of view.  But enough  about me, what have you 
been 
up to my friend? Any trips back home  lately?"
 
Moreya closed her eyes for a moment and sighed.  "No,  and I wish it wasn't 
so," she admitted.  "I've been away too long, really.  I --"  Then she paused, 
remembering the isolinear chip still between  her fingers.  She lifted it up 
where Skyler could see it.  "But I've  just received the gift of a virtual trip 
home.  If you wish, perhaps you  could take the journey with me."

"I would be honored to go on your  journey with you. I don't want my problems 
to ruin your gift of a trip home.  Perhaps later we can discuss it."  Skyler 
wanted so much to discuss it with  her friend, but not at the risk of ruining 
a gift or a chance to visit her  home.
 
Moreya closed her eyes for a moment again, breathing in  the essence of her 
friend's trouble and turmoil.  How could she not help?  Truly, the only 
question in Moreya's mind was how deeply she dared  communicate with Skyler, 
and how 
much risk that would be.
 
One step at a time, she thought.  That's the only way  to know.
 
"I have rented a holosuite for the next seventy-two  hours," she said at 
last.  "This program should allow me to replicate a  small corner of my 
homeworld 
quite well.  I would enjoy it far less if I  were alone.  You would be most 
welcome to join me, if your duties  permit."
 
"I have the time, as the Avalon will be tethered to the  Starbase for a few 
days. I have been ordered to take it easy, so I can think of  no one else I 
would rather spend my time with. I have never been to your  homeworld and am 
looking forward to it."  It has to be better than the last  time I was in a 
holodeck. Perhaps it will also be a healing time as  well.
 
Baby I see this world has made you sad
Some people  can be bad
The things they do, the things they say
 
Moreya led the way to the small shop which housed several  holosuites.  It 
was possible to use the holodeck facilities in the  Starfleet section, of 
course, but not possible to keep one for as long as Moreya  wanted it, so she 
had 
chosen the private business.
 
She also knew the proprietor, a Tellarite who grunted and  grinned broadly as 
she approached.  "Ah ha," he said, in the deep, guttural  tones of his 
species.  "My helper -- don't know why I gotta call him that,  he never helps 
me 
worth a damn -- told me you'd made a booking.  If it  ain't my favorite 
ayy-ess-theetee!  You ever gonna grow any hair
on your  head?"
 
Moreya grinned warmly.  "As soon as you learn to  properly wash all of yours. 
 Did you miss your annual bath?"
 
The Tellarite laughed and clapped Moreya on the shoulder.  "I don't forget 
nothin'," he said, "and neither do you. Good for ya.  The suite's all set up.  
Stocked for three days, and enough food for  two -- thought you might need it, 
and looks like I was right."
 
"You know me too well," Moreya said.
 
"Good thing too," the Tellarite said as he led the way to  the suite.  "Watch 
yourself with this one," he said to Skyler.  "She'll put herself under your 
skin, Betazoid or not.  Not that the  putting's unpleasant, if you know what I 
mean."  He turned away, still  laughing.
 
Skyler watched the interaction between Moreya and the  Tellarite. She found 
it most intriguing. Moreya did have a way with people,  regardless of their 
race or appearances. Skyler wondered how she managed it and  with such grace 
and 
style. She was lucky if she could keep things straight  between two people at 
the most. Moreya was one of a kind. A rare jewel to be  treasured.

Looking at the Tellarite Skyler smiled, "I have to admit  she has put herself 
under my skin more than once already and I still  keep coming back for more. 
I certainly do understand what you mean about it  not being unpleasant."

Skyler looked around the business take in  the quaintness of it. It was 
something that Moreya would pick out. Skyler was  hoping that this "trip" would 
be 
helpful to her and hopefully not too unpleasant  for Moreya.

"Interesting choice of friends, Moreya. Of course who  am I to talk? You have 
stood by me for quite some time now. Shall we begin this  trip of yours?"
 
Moreya smiled.  "The Tellarites are a fascinating  people, and both our 
species have benefited immensely from working together.  Yes, let us begin."
 
She took the chip -- which in all this time had not left  her hand -- and 
placed it into the reader slot near the door of the holosuite.  A computer 
voice 
requested, "Your payment code, please?"
 
Moreya responded, "Moreya.  Delta Four.  Twenty-two Phi Upsilon."
 
"Accepted.  Enjoy your program."  The door slid  open and the two women 
entered.
 
As the door slid closed behind them and disappeared into  the virtual world 
within the room, a blast of cool, salt-laden air struck their  faces.  They 
were standing on a broad, stone-paved verandah.  To their  right they could see 
the back side of a house, walls made of stone and stucco in  greyish green and 
pale blue.  To the left, the verandah ended with a low  stone wall, which 
bordered the edge of a cliff nearly forty meters high.  Heavy waves roared and 
pounded at the stones at the foot of the  cliff.
 
The sun was shining, though the sky was already almost  half covered with 
heavy clouds, roiling, nearly black.  They, and the wind  in their faces, told 
of 
a storm coming straight for them.
 
Moreya had closed her eyes, let her head drop back, and  opened her arms, 
abandoning herself completely to the illusion.
 
Skyler took in the surrounding's and let the sound of the  waves invade her 
mind. It was the first time in quite awhile that she had felt  at piece. The 
feel of the salt air and coolness of the gusting winds was a  welcome respite 
to 
anything she had felt before.

She watched as  Moreya lost herself in the illusion of being back home and 
hoped that sometime  soon she would actually get to go home to enjoy it, 
instead 
of in a holosuite.  She didn't want to say anything to disturb Moreya from 
this moment. Instead she  stepped back a step or two and let her friend engulf 
herself in  feelings.
 
After a minute or two, without opening her eyes again,  Moreya asked, "What 
do you think, Skyler?  We're going to get rained on in  a few minutes -- I am 
going to stay out here, but you can go inside, if you'd  rather."
 
"I think it is breathtaking and awe inspiring. I don't  know why you would 
ever what to leave such a place as this? I couldn't think of  a better place to 
be."

"The only reason I ever left Delta Four,"  Moreya said, opening her eyes and 
turning toward her friend, "was because there  were so many other beings out 
beyond it.  So many people to meet, to know â  to help.  I was a healer long 
before I left home."
 
Skyler could feel the storm front pressure building and  found it to be 
exhilarating. It had been so long since she had felt this way  that she really 
didn't want to leave, yet she didn't want to deprive her friend  of her privacy.

"Actually, Moreya I think I am going to take a  little walk and let you enjoy 
yourself for a bit. I need the time to think and a  good storm will do that. 
I will catch up with in a few minutes. Enjoy  yourself."

"Of course.  Try to feel, as well as to think, my  friend.  There is a lot to 
feel here."
 
Skyler turned and walked along the cliff edge  listening to the breaking of 
the waves and the howling of the wind.  She  could see the rain coming now, 
like a curtain of water approaching from out  across the sea.  When it reached 
her, it drenched everything in a matter of  seconds.
 
Walking along the cliff edge with the rain pouring down on  her Skyler was 
confused by her friends statement. I wonder what she meant by  try to 
feel...that there is a lot to feel here?

Walking some  more she found a rather large rock and proceeded to sit down 
and look out over  the water. Try to feel......what does she mean?? I have had 
enough physical  and emotional feelings over the course of the last few months 
to last a  lifetime. Now that she was totally confused, she sat there and 
thought  about all that had happened from the Tempest, Flubb, Melanie, 
Elissabeth 
and  Mia. Should she tell her about Mia?  That would open a whole new can of  
worms.

She loved Moreya to death but sometimes she could be very  cryptic or 
confusing and this was one of those times.
 
She wasn't sure how much time had gone by, but she could  hear Moreya's 
voice, faintly through the sound of waves and pouring rain.  "Skyler!  Are you 
all 
right?"
 
Skyler had been so lost in thought that she hadn't felt  the rain or heard 
Moreya calling her voice. A pause in the wind allowed her to  hear her name. "I 
am fine. I'm over here on this rock."  Trying to feel  something. 
 
"Would you like me to come over there?"
 
"No, I'll be right over, as long as I don't fall off this  rock. That would 
not be a pretty sight."

"Take care -- the wind can  be very treacherous in storms like these."
 
Climbing off the rock, Skyler made her way over to Moreya.  "So how was your 
little storm? Does it even feel like home?" 
 
"More than I would have thought -- the rain is even cold,  as it should be 
for this part of the world."  The Deltan too was drenched,  the layers of 
loose, 
lightly woven robes she'd been wearing now plastered to her  body. 
 
"You look like your outfit has shrunk a size or two. Shall  we go inside and 
warm up?" 
 
"Perhaps so."  As they began climbing back along the  narrow path, Moreya 
asked, "So how does this feel?  To be cold and soaking  wet, to have wind and 
rain blowing all around you?"
 
"It feels relaxing actually. That may sound strange but it  is comforting 
knowing what the outcome will be. Eventually the wind and the rain  will stop. 
I 
can always change into drier clothes if need be." 
 
"Indeed.  I know exactly what you mean.  I love  these sensations, feeling 
the power of nature moving through me -- and yet  knowing I will come to no 
harm.  There is so much that can be felt, that  doesn't require pain."
 
Skyler paused and looked at Moreya for a moment. She knows  without me even 
saying anything.....she knows. "That may be the case for some  people Moreya, 
but it doesn't always work out that way." 
 
The Deltan was silent as they reached the stone verandah  and crossed into 
the house.  The main room had thick rugs on the floor,  which looked like they 
were the skins of some long-furred animal.  Nearby  were stacks of towels and 
clean, dry clothes.  In the center of the room, a  fire blazed inside a large, 
open hearth.
 
"No ... it doesn't always work out that way," she agreed  finally.  "But, 
just because you have done something a certain way once --  even if you have 
done 
it that way your entire life -- does not mean you have to  condemn yourself 
to doing it that way forever."
 
Skyler stood there with a towel in her hand, running it  through her damp 
hair. "I never said anything about condemning myself to one way  or another. I 
deal with things the only way I know how." Skyler could feel the  silence fill 
the void between them. If she couldn't convince anyone else why she  did the 
things she did, how was she going to convince Moreya. "I never had  anyone to 
really confide in so I learned to deal with things my own way, good or  bad." 
 
"That, I understand perfectly," Moreya said.  She  began peeling off her wet 
clothes and throwing them back toward the entryway,  where each piece landed 
with a wet slap on the stone.  "Of course -- and  forgive me, if I have hurt 
you.  You have always done the best you knew  how, and there's no shame in 
that." 
 
"Moreya, you have done nothing to hurt me. I am the one  who should be 
apologizing. I shouldn't have sounded so harsh when I spoke. Itâs  
just....hard to 
explain. I don't even understand it myself, yet I do it anyway.  To be honest 
this is the first time in a very long time that I have done  anything of this 
magnitude. Everything is...was... falling apart and I did the  only thing I 
knew how to do. It was easier to shut down emotions and not feel  them. The 
physical pain I could deal with, I could....take care of.
 
âI know that doesn't make much sense, but feeling the pain  at least let me 
know that I could still feel something." Not knowing what else  to do, Skyler 
changed into dry clothes and sat on the carpet, resting her head  in her hands. 
 
Moreya quickly ran a towel over herself and slipped on a  single fresh robe.  
"I think I know how hard it can be," she said, sitting  down facing Skyler.  
"We Deltans are all about feeling -- we've gotten our  share of 
misunderstandings and insults about it, too.  But one thing we've  come to 
understand very 
well is how easily feelings can overwhelm you -- and  retreating into physical 
sensation is one way to cope.  There's one big  difference between emotional 
feelings and physical sensations, though, and if I  could teach you one thing, 
it would be to understand what that difference  is."
 
"In either case someone is going to get hurt, and I would  prefer that it is 
I that is the one hurting instead of hurting someone else. I  am not a 
masochist or anything, but........it's easier to deal with physical  pain. Up 
until 
recently I didn't have to worry about the emotional aspect of  anything. Be it 
a relationship, work or a friendship. Of late it seems that I am  always 
hurting someone I care about and that is something I have a very  difficult 
time 
dealing with. Does any of this rambling make sense to you,  because it is 
beginning to lose me. I've tried explaining it so many times that  I am about 
to 
just give up on it and let people think what they want." The more  she talked 
the 
more drained she appeared to be getting. She felt like she was  holding the 
weight of the world on her shoulders and didn't know how to handle  it. 
 
"I understand, even if I don't know all the details of  exactly what happened 
to you -- and you can tell me those details or not, as it  pleases you."  
Moreya moved to sit behind Skyler, and reached up to gently  start massaging 
her 
shoulders.  "Here's the difference, and I'd really like  you to think about 
this.  Emotional pain cannot kill you.  No matter  how much it feels like it 
can.  But physical pain can."
 
Skyler almost jumped out of her skin when she felt Moreya  massaging her 
shoulders. She knew her muscles were all tied up in knots yet at  the same time 
it 
also brought back a single pleasant memory. "That feels good. I  didn't 
realize how tense I was." Sitting there with Moreya's hands on her  shoulders, 
Skyler tried to think about what she had just said. 
"If something  is troubling you -- whether it be something you have done, or 
something that has  been done to you, then you have the right to feel that 
pain.  But for your  sake, you must let it go once you have felt it.  If you 
try 
not to feel it,  or hang onto it for any other reason, it doesn't do you any 
good.  I know  that's an easier thing to say than to do, but will you at least 
think about  it?"
 
Skyler was sitting there feeling the sensations that  Moreya was transmitting 
through her hands and began to tremble. She wasn't sure  why, since it had 
never happened at any other occasion. She turned around and  took Moreya's 
hands 
in hers and looked at them. "You have exquisite hands my  friend." 
 
The Deltan looked down at their hands locked together, and  then up again, 
into Skyler's eyes.  "Thank you," she said.  "How much  do you know of Deltans, 
Skyler?  Do you want to try and communicate fully,  completely, with me?  It 
is not without its own risks, and I would not see  you come to harm for 
anything."
 
Skyler looked into Moreya's eyes riveted. "Moreya, we have  known each other 
for a long time and I know that you would never do anything to  hurt me or 
anyone else. I may not know much about Deltans but I do know how much  I trust 
you. So in answer to your question....yes, I would like to try and  communicate 
with you, completely and fully." 
 
"Then I will show you how Deltans communicate -- and make  love, for to us 
they are all part of the same thing."  She paused a moment,  and then offered 
Skyler a mischievous smile.  "And when we are done, if you  still feel 
compelled 
to have a Klingon warrior beat you half to death in order  to feel anything, 
I will turn in my medical license and retire."
 

Why worry, there should be laughter after  pain
There should be sunshine after rain
These things have always been the  same
So why worry now
 

[Song quotes from âWhy Worry,â written by Mark  Knopfler, from the Dire 
Straits album âBrothers In Arms.â]

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