<USS Avalon> "Welcome Distraction"

Welcome Distraction
By Lieutenant First Class Elissabeth Marksbury and 
Junior Lieutenant James Monroe
 
 
Lissi stood outside Monroe's quarters, having serious second thoughts about 
being there.  Do I really need this distraction right now?  No, but I need him. 
 Or at least I want him as part of my life.  
 
She took a deep breath and reached out to press the chime, but stopped an inch 
short.  I can do this, she thought, even if just to apologize for the way I 
behaved before.  At least offer an explanation.  Before she could change her 
mind, she pressed the chime and then placed her hand to her belly in vain 
attempt to quell the flutters there.  
 
Monroe looked up from his terminal and got up from his seat. The orders for 
Intel had just been received. The details were sketchy, as usual, and he knew 
he'd be filled in on it at the scheduled meeting. Tapping the panel by the 
door, it wisped open and surprise caught him in the throat, "Liss," was all he 
managed. 
 
"I - " she stammered.  "Can I talk to you?"  Her hands fidgeted nervously at 
her side.  Looking at him was harder than she thought it would be...her first 
thought was of kissing him, of falling into his arms.  It was hard to get her 
mind into the right place.  
 
He made a gesture with his head, "Sure. Come in." A smile crept up on his face, 
but he suppressed it, "Temporary quarters aren't exactly spacey, so excuse 
the... lack of room." The doors slid shut and Monroe signaled for her to take a 
seat as he sat. 
 
"I - I can't sit," she stuttered again and began pacing back in forth in front 
of him.  "I owe you an explanation and if I don't just start talking, I'm 
afraid that I won't say it all."  Her hands became more animated.  This was 
quite unusual behavior for her, to say the least.  "I said that I didn't want 
to see you anymore because you were a distraction and that was true.  But it 
was a distraction that I liked having.  I didn't realize it until Maturin 
practically slapped me in the face with it, but mostly I was just scared 
because I did like it and -" her tempo had increased with her words, as did her 
agitation. "And I blamed you for what happened in the holodeck even though it 
wasn't even remotely your fault and I felt like if I hadn't been there but been 
at work then the nightmares wouldn't have come back and -" 
 
Monroe got up and held her from pacing about, "Whoa whoa, what nightmares? 
Maturin? Isn't he your contact?" He tried getting Lissi to look at him, but she 
avoided his gaze. He let that go, and then let her go gently. "Start over will 
ya?" 
 
She looked at him briefly with tears in her eyes before dropping her gaze to 
the floor.  "That's what I want, James.  I want to start over."  She looked up 
at him again, "With you." 
 
He looked at her, eyes shifting for a moment. Then he turned her, lifting her 
chin up with his fingers. As soon as she did look up, he pushed her hair aside, 
"I haven't gone anywhere. So... if you're serious about this we could start 
over.. or start where we left off..." Monroe shrugged but cracked a smile, "It 
won't matter to me, personally. I just enjoy spending time with you." 
 
She smiled almost shyly, but relieved, and stood on her tiptoes to press her 
lips against his. 
 
Monroe wrapped his arms around her and returned her kiss with a little more 
intensity. "I've missed you," he managed to say when they broke the kiss.
 
She allowed herself to completely relax in his arms.  Fitting her head in the 
crook of his neck, she inhaled his scent and felt more...complete than she had 
in a long time.  "So, are you going to make me tell you that stuff all over 
again?" her breath whispered against his neck.  
 
He chuckled, "Yeah, I'd like you to start at the beginning."
 
She sighed, "I was afraid you were gonna say that.  You know how hard it was to 
say the first time?"  She slid her arms down his and intertwined their fingers. 
 Lissi led him over to the sofa and sat down. 
 
Monroe nodded, "Try. If you really can't, you don't have to." He then moved her 
hair back to her shoulders with his free hand, uncovering her eyes. 
 
She turned to look at him.  "Alright.  Whole story.  Maturin and I are very, 
very good friends.  We've known each other for about six years.  You have to 
understand how close we are.  In fact, sometimes he knows me better than I know 
myself.  The physical affection of our friendship - and I'm emphasizing 
'affection' not really more than that, was the closest I've ever been to 
anyone.  Then I met you and it was ... well, you know how it was.  That was 
very chaotic and it didn't fit into my neat little boxes of perception.  It 
scared me.  Yes, you distracted me, but it was a good distraction.  I was 
relaxed and comfortable.  And happy."  She paused, not sure how to continue. 
 
"But...?" 
 
"But that day on the holodeck... I blamed you for what happened, even though 
you had no idea that I am deathly afraid of water.  I nearly drowned...several 
times as a child."  She stopped talking, remembering instead. 
 
"I'm sorry," he stammered almost immediately, "I just thought that.. well, you 
know, it was an idea honestly.. I would've never done that if I thought it 
scared you so much. I'm so sorry."
 
"It wasn't your fault. I only told you I didn't like the thought of being in 
water and that I couldn't swim.  You couldn't have known that my father's idea 
of teaching me to swim was throwing me in water repeatedly, barely saving me 
when I didn't make it, and berating me when I panicked.... The point is that my 
nightmares of that came back after that.  And I told myself that if I hadn't 
been messing around with you in the holodeck instead of working that it 
wouldn't have happened.  Which isn't true either."  She sighed and looked into 
his eyes.  "Basically, I hate admitting when I'm scared.  I get scared when I 
can't control everything around me and I couldn't control my feelings for you." 
 
 
"You don't have to be afraid, Liss. I just hope you trust me more," Monroe 
hugged her, "It's great to have you back." 

 
She stroked his cheek gently.  "You've been so much more understanding than I 
deserve."  Her stomach dropped as she realized just how much she cared for him. 
 Is this what falling in love feels like? she wondered. 
 
Monroe smiled and then cupped her face and kissed her. 
 
For the first time, Lissi poured her all into that kiss.  She released a 
passion she wasn't even aware she possessed.  Her right hand found its way into 
his hair, while her left rested upon his chest.  Feeling the tautness of the 
muscles beneath his shirt, her hand seemed to move of it's own accord, 
exploring his chest, stomach and sides.  She liked the way his stomach seemed 
to quiver whenever she lightly danced her fingers over it. This was uncharted 
territory for her, all the feelings, the sensations.
 
"Liss," he whispered, breaking off the kiss.  "Are you sure this is what you 
want?"
 
"More than anything."
 
James kissed her softly on the forehead and silently led her to the bed.
 
 




                
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