<USS Avalon> " Walkabout"

Walkabout
by Lt. Sussanna Jameson

One heavy foot in front of the other. One dragging step after the next.
Uluru remained an unapproachable, unreachable centre to her world. Her legs
ached, all of her ached but she had to keep moving. A root grabbed at her
foot and she stumbled and fell to her knees. Tears of frustration stung her
eyes as she tried desperately to pull herself to her feet once again. Her
cry echoed around the empty places. Her legs wouldn't move, they wouldn't
work, she couldn't make them.

"Stuck?"

The deep, female voice behind her sounded so compassionate. Anna couldn't
make her body turn around to face the woman. "I-I can't move. Help me?"

The tone instantly changed. "Now, why would I do that?" Footsteps just out
of her visual range, gentle and steady. A pair of legs came into view and
they knelt down, bringing a gaunt face into view. Grey eyes knifed into
Anna's as she stared into her own reflection.

"Please help me move." Anna felt the quiver of fear in her own voice.

"No." Leaning back on her haunches, Sussanna grinned. "Well, look where
you've found yourself now, Suzie." A sneer formed around her eyes. "Poor
Anna, all alone, no friends, no family left to care for you. Just you, alone
in the desert, dying of thirst and hunger, with no one to help you. Poor,
pathetic Anna."

"I have friends."  What friends?

"What friends?" A bark of laughter mocked her. "Marksbury? A woman who
screwed you and then dropped you like a hot stone? Or Kyle? A selfish little
dwarf of a man who didn't even tell you he'd left?" The grin suddenly became
predatorial. "Or Simon?"

"Simon." The name made her feel flat, made an ache in her chest.

"Yeah, you remember him? The one you screwed like Marksbury screwed you?"
She leaned forward, bringing their faces barely an inch apart. "You stupid
little bitch. You seriously thought he cared about you, didn't you?"

"He... he's my friend."  Who are you kidding?

"You used him. And now you're all upset to find out that he used you just as
much. Stupid little Suzie. You judge people on one set of rules but refuse
to accept it when they judge you the same."

"He didn't tell me." Her heart broke in her chest and she almost screamed at
how pitiful she sounded.

"You sound so fucking pitiful." Grabbing hold of Anna's chin with one
vice-like hand, Sussanna glared. "You think that just because you fall for
someone that they then owe you something."

"No. That's stupid, why would I believe that?" Trying to pull away, Anna
flinched in pain.

"You tell me." Finally letting go, the release made Anna fall backwards.

Curling into a ball on the hard packed earth, she shook her head. "I don't
believe that."  I don't.

"Who are you trying to convince?"

"I don't. He was sweet and gentle. He cared for me." Shaking her head, she
tried to curl further into herself. "He did."

"He does."

"He lied to me."

"No, he simply didn't tell you."

Anna looked up sharply. "Lying by omission." A sudden sting of anger burned
away some of the ache.

"Don't be a fool." Sussanna's eyes softened. "You are such a fool at times,
Suzie."

"I am not a fool!" Pushing forward, Anna grabbed a fistful of Sussanna's
shirt. "How dare you? Who do you think you are?"

"You." Flat, lifeless eyes looked at her, tore through her soul, stripped it
away and looked right into the root of her. "Computer, end program."

Alone again, Anna stared around at the black walls with their yellow grid
lines. Pulling herself to her feet, she edged herself to the door. This
hurt, she thought. Not the physical pain but the suddenness of being alone.
It hurt more than she could stand. Her heart daggered her chest from the
inside. The overwhelming need for physical contact pulled her out the door
and down the corridors to Simon's room.

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