<USS Avalon> "Unrighteous Indignation"

Unrighteous Indignationby Lt. Cmdr. Elissabeth Marksbury and Lt. Sussanna 
Jameson 


Sussanna, 
I haven't seen you around in a few days and was wondering how you were doing. 
Would you like to join me for dinner when you're not busy? 
~Elissabeth

Frowning bleary eyed at the message on her console, Anna tried in vain to pull 
her uniform top over her head. Oh man, tired beyond reason. A slow, smug smile 
sauntered over her face as she remembered why she was so tired. Yeah, she'd go 
see Liss, now was as good a time as any. She was going to spend the rest of the 
night with Simon anyway, so what harm could it do? Typing in a quick response, 
she headed to the shower to try to beat awareness into her mind.

Elissabeth smiled with Anna's response. It'd be nice to see her again. She'd 
been trying to keep tabs on her a bit, but it wasn't always possible to do 
without crossing into the realm of nosiness and that's not something she wanted 
to do. Their last dinner together had gone well, but then they hadn't spoken 
for almost a week.

Depressing the chime, Anna tried not to fiddle with her blouse again. She'd 
gone for a smart-casual, not really sure what Liss wanted. Frowning, she 
pressed the chime again and waited.

Elissabeth opened the door herself and smiled brightly at Anna, some of the 
leftover thoughts of Bryce still playing through her head. She hadn't been able 
to get that man out of her head yet. "I'm glad you decided to come," she said, 
gesturing for Anna to follow her in. "I hadn't seen you for so long, I was 
starting to think you were avoiding me."

"Why would I do that?" Anna inwardly flinched at the obvious bitterness that 
was still there. "Sorry, what I meant was: of course I'm not, why would I?"

"I didn't think you would. I just missed talking to you, that's all. You 
hungry?"

"Famished," Anna admitted with a grin. Her stomach grumbled loudly as if to 
reiterate her words.

"Got any preferences?"

"Something with a lot of meat to it." A contented sigh drifted out of her. 
"Actually, I've got a real craving for a good barby, but the replicated version 
will do me fine. One beef steak, rare, with chips, the chunkier the better, and 
a huge caeser salad."

Trying to keep the look of surprise off her face as well as keep from crinkling 
her nose at the thought of so much meat, Elissabeth nodded and moved to the 
replicator. She took the food to the table, a salad for herself, and gestured 
for Anna to sit. "Been busy?" she asked idly, pouring them both a glass of wine.

"You could say that." Chomping into the feast in front of her, Anna tried not 
to giggle. "You?"

"Not terribly much." Smiling quietly, she asked, "Wanna tell me what that 
little smirk is for?"

The smirk turned into a full blown grin. "Only if you tell me what yours means 
first." 

"What do you mean?"

"Oh come on Liss, you've been smiling to yourself since I walked in the door 
and probably for hours before that. Now I know I'm fabulous, but I rarely have 
this effect on my friends." Shoveling another lump of beef into her mouth, Anna 
waved her fork at Lissi. "Go on, spill."

"I'm going to have to stop being so damn obvious," she said, taking a drink. 
"It's nothing really. I just met someone who seems interested in me and it's 
kinda nice. That's all. Just boring 'my life' stuff. Your turn."

"Since when has your life been boring, Lissi?" Avoiding the question much? 
"Well, I don't think you've got a boring life. Tell me about this person then."

"It's nothing really. I just met him in the lounge and he wouldn't leave me 
alone."

"Hmm." Anna sat back, temporarily beaten by the sheer volume of food and 
stretched her legs out under the table. "Anyone I know?"

"Bryce Quinn," she confided, deciding that the salad really wasn't all that 
appetizing and went for more wine instead.

"The JAG guy? You're messing around with one of the lawyers trying to screw 
Ketchum?" Mimicking Elissabeth, Anna reached for her glass and took a gulp. 
"Fuck, Liss, couldn't you have chosen a little better?" Couldn't you have 
chosen me?

A slight look of hurt crossed her face before she swallowed it back and covered 
it up. "Talking is hardly 'messing around', Anna," she said quietly.

"No, that's true, I'm sorry. Who am I to judge, right?" I mean, I screwed my 
superior officer. Biting back the comment, Anna hid it by taking another sip of 
her wine. "I don't mean to be snarky, I'm just not sleeping so well."

Elissabeth didn't like the feeling of the air between them all a sudden. She 
wasn't so sure if this was such a good idea anymore. Perhaps, like James, it 
was better to just let it go, not try to hold onto any pretense of friendship. 
"I see. I'm sorry to hear that." Though she tried not to, that openness 
disappeared and reserve crept in.

It was probably a combination of the drink and the lack of sleep that made her 
do it. In hind sight, that was the conclusion Anna came to after long hours 
spent thinking about it. But sitting there, at the dining table, across from 
the one person she'd loved since her mother died, Anna just stopped caring.

"You really don't give a flying fuck, do you? Fuck me, we called you the Ice 
Queen, but I never really believed that until now." Taking another drink, Anna 
leaned forward, her cold, grey eyes penetrating Elissabeth's. "You screwed me, 
you dropped me like a lead weight and then you jumped into bed with one of the 
people who could very well be the undoing of our Captain! Who the fucking hell 
do you think you are?" Each word was spoken with complete clarity, no 
indication of her inebriated condition showed except in her courage. "And then 
to top it all off, you stole my last gift to him from me. I worked with you so 
hard for that eulogy. I knew him better than anyone, but you took it upon 
yourself to undermine my final goodbye."

Elissabeth hadn't a clue those things had been running through Anna's mind. At 
first she was too taken aback to even process the truth from the lies. In fact, 
all she could do was stare wide eyed and mouth slightly agape as she tried to 
understand where all that had come from.

"I won't cry over this again, Elissabeth." Glaring, fighting back the tears 
that threatened to make her a liar, Anna continued, "How fucking dare you!"

"Anna - I - I'm having a hard time making sense of what you're saying with you 
yelling at me." She felt lost, like things were suddenly unraveling around her 
and she didn't know which thread to grab in order to stop it.

"What is there to make sense of? You changed the eulogy, you took my words and 
threw them out the window. Fucking hell, you pissed on them on the way out as 
well. That was all I had left. There was nothing else, there is nothing else. 
Just dirt and maggots and nothing. He's gone, Elissabeth. All gone. How could 
you take that one thing from me? The only thing I could give to him? Why?"

"I'm sorry. I just... I just said what felt right. I didn't realise you felt so 
passionately... Hell, Anna, I'm sorry."

"No, you're not. You never are and that's your problem." Pushing up from the 
table, Anna finally let the sadness fill her eyes. "I'm going to go now; I feel 
like a little companionship so I'm going to spend the evening with Simon. I 
think this was a bad idea. I think all of it was a bad idea. It serves me right 
for falling in love with my superior officer. Now, if you will excuse me, I 
will beg your leave."

"Of course you can leave. I'd never ask you to stay where you didn't want to, 
but I want to be straight on a few things first," she said, finally shrugging 
off enough of the surprise to be angry. "First of all, I may have hurt you 
without thinking about it where Forester's eulogy was concerned, but I did what 
felt right at the time. And I am sorry that it hurt you. Secondly, I never 
'dropped' you. My door has always been open. You said that you understood about 
what happened between us that night. You begged me not to regret it. I assume 
you've changed your mind. Fine, you have every right to be bitter, but you have 
no right to say I'm doing things that I'm not doing with people that you don't 
even know." Elissabeth spoke almost as a whisper, hurt more than she could ever 
voice or ever would voice.

"Don't tell me you don't listen to the rumours. Don't for one instant try to 
fool me with crocodile tears. And yes, I know better than to believe every 
rumour that I hear, but this one just struck too strong a cord. Its note was 
too pure." Towering over Elissabeth, Anna's fury carried her forward. "And 
since we are getting things clear, let me point out that I did not beg. I am 
not some sniveling little cry-Lissi that whimpers at the slightest knock. I 
asked you not to regret it. I do not beg. Ever." Fire raged in her eyes as she 
advanced on Marksbury. "You have hurt me more than anyone ever has before. Be 
happy in the knowledge that you will be the last to ever get close enough to 
try."

"There are no tears in my eyes, Sussanna Jameson," she said, crossing her arms, 
tired of the petty emotional tirade from the other woman. "I don't even know 
what rumours you're speaking of." Voice cold and emotions locked away tightly, 
Elissabeth looked at Anna impassively and waited.

"Then it is settled. Hide behind your walls, Lieutenant Commander Marksbury. Be 
safe until someone comes along with a bigger siege weapon than you and smashes 
them down. I don't care enough to try anymore." Tired and battered and hurt, 
Anna turned to leave. As she did, she whispered, "Goodbye, Lissi."

"And here I thought you weren't the sort to run away."

Anna froze. "What did you say?"

"You heard me."

Slowly, Anna turned like the ponderous beginnings of a supercell. Violence pent 
up from over a week of hurt flashed in her eyes. "What do you want from me now, 
Elissabeth?"

Standing, Elissabeth moved in front of Anna. "I'm not asking anything from you. 
I just think you're being incredibly unfair and letting your feelings cloud 
your judgement." She took a deep breath. "I thought you knew me better than 
some of the things you've thrown at me tonight. Anna, I let myself get closer 
to you than I have most people. Not that it means anything to you, obviously, 
but I thought you were special. I still do." She shrugged, knowing that 
anything she said at that point wasn't going to make a difference.

"Special?" Anna spat the word back at Lissi. "Special enough to take comfort 
in." But haven't you just done exactly the same? Isn't that EXACTLY what you've 
just done with Simon? A shadow of doubt flickered over her eyes. "But sometimes 
the person we choose to comfort us is the most special person. Sometimes it's 
almost a prerequisite."

"Did you just say in a roundabout way that you believed me?"

A half smile played over Anna's lips. "Yeah, I think I did."

"Look, I'm not advocating any of my actions these last few weeks. I've made 
more emotion based mistakes than I ever care to look back and claim and 
somewhere in my path of destruction I picked you up and carried you along on my 
tornado of emotions. I'm more sorry for that than I can ever express to you. I 
don't even know how to start picking up the pieces, Anna, and there's a damn 
good chance that I can't. I can understand if you hate me. I really don't blame 
you. But I would appreciate you not making accusations against me that aren't 
true without at least giving me a chance to explain." Again came the sigh and 
she looked up to ask, "Simon?" before Anna could go off on her again.

"M-Matthews. Lieutenant Matthews." Too shocked to lie or avoid the question any 
more, Anna just stood there. "Simon. We've been having coffee a lot lately. He 
invited me to his room last night. We..."

"Hit it off?" she supplied innocuously.

Anger flashed again but Anna did her best to smother it. "Yeah. He's a friend. 
He's been one of my closest. Last night he was there when I needed him to be."

She smiled brightly, "I'm really glad to hear it."

Feeling the irrational urge to defend him, Anna continued, "He's a lovely man. 
I know you don't like him, but I do. I don't know why, I just do."

"Why would you think I don't like him?" she nearly laughed. "Matthews is one of 
the best officers in covert ops. His brain runs circles around mine and his 
intelligence gathering skills are nearly unmatched. Granted, I haven't been 
able to get very close to him... not like some of the others. I just get this 
sense of cold from him, like he'd rather do anything but talk to me. I just 
always assumed he preferred books to people or something. Guess that's silly, 
but it was just this image I'd conjured up, an entire room stacked full of 
books with anti-social Simon sitting among them, happy as a clam."

The image of Simon stuffed in his personal library made Anna laugh deep and 
loud. "That's him! Snug as a bug. You ever seen his quarters? You sound like 
you have." Giggling at Lissi's description of her friend, Anna shook her head. 
"But once you talk to him, he's a really lovely, sweet, caring man. If not a 
little conceited and arrogant."

"I got the arrogant part, but I'm sure the rest is just as true. I can't 
believe that you thought I didn't like him." She shook her head and sobered, 
remembering something, "How are you going to feel about his transfer out?"

"A transfer?" Another lead weight hit her gut.

"I assumed you knew, I'm sorry. He requested it. I just don't want to see you 
hurt when he leaves, that's all, considering Fenner recently left." She was 
going to deny the transfer, but then several new orders began crossing her 
desk. Fenner's orders had come through first and he was already gone, catching 
a transport as soon as they stopped at the starbase. Sergova was next. And then 
Matthews'. Elissabeth knew there must be some sort of change coming, but she'd 
yet to be told what it was.

"No, I wasn't aware of that. Thank you for telling me." She hadn't even known 
about Kyle's transfer. It appears that friends only cause pain. "I need to go."

The compassion on her face was evident. "Are you okay?"

"Y-yes, I just need to go." Not even looking back, Anna left Lissi's quarters. 
A lot of her wanted to run back to her room, curl up in a ball and cry. Another 
large part wanted to do the same but in Simon's room. Instead, she marched to a 
holosuite. Jameson Outback 4. Heat enveloped her and she let her legs walk off 
the pain.

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