<USS Avalon> "Two Paths"

“Two Paths”
by Commander Javan Sierra
& Senior Lieutenant Caine Reilly McKinsley



Things suddenly seemed small. The crew onboard seemed to shrivel up and disappear completely. He stared at the message from Garrett Stevens telling him about Caine's promotion. One side of him was completely happy that she'd found her niche and was moving forward, but the other regretted not spending more time with her as of late. This was, without a doubt, the drawn line at the end of the relationship. It was stay or go, put up or shut up, or cast the entire previous year aside.

The walk to her office was terrible. Javan didn't want to make that trip, he didn't want the confrontation, and he sure as hell didn't want to say goodbye to her. True, the relationship hadn't been going anywhere with their combined work schedules, but he still enjoyed her company. As he reached out to ring the chime, he still wasn't sure if he was going to go with her or not - he was sure he could pull some strings to get him a teaching position in San Francisco too - and that made it all the more terrifying.

A mixture of fear and excitement clouded Caine's mind as she looked around her office, she shook her head, it wasn't her office anymore and that was slightly hard to swallow. This place, this ship, had become a home to her and her crewmates had become like family but she had the option to finally live the life she truly wanted, a simple life.

Sighing, she bent and picked up the box she had just finished packing with her stuff. An office that was once friendly and welcoming now seemed sterile with the loss of her things. Caine looked around, a sad smile gracing her lips.

The doors opened and he just stood in the doorway, watching her. "So, when were you going to tell me?"

Startled, Caine nearly dropped the box she was carrying. There standing in the doorway was Javan, he looked gorgeous and Caine began to feel the weight of her decision heavily again. "I . . . I, wasn't expecting to see you there, you surprised me," she said, choosing to ignore his question.

He thought for a moment about what he was going to say. He had been caught off guard, that much was obvious. Javan took a step into the room, admiring the quick packing as nearly half her things had already found themselves in boxes to be moved. "Caine. Why didn't you tell me? Had you planned on just leaving and being done with it?"

"No," she said, placing the box she was carrying on the floor, she pushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "No, I was planning on coming by and telling you, I was just waiting on the right time, I mean, you've been so busy lately, I didn't want to stress you out."

"That's crap and you know it," Javan said, slightly irritated, "I always have time for you. Imagine my surprise when your assistant let it slip that you were going to Starfleet Academy to teach. I didn't even know that you were into teaching. I thought you enjoyed sitting behind the desk and nodding solemnly as others spilled their heart and soul out to you." He fought the urge to pace, which was becoming quite a powerful sensation to say the least.

"I do love counseling people and I plan on continuing to do it even though I'll be teaching as well but Javan, I can't live the kind of life that is needed for being on the Avalon and raise Hannah. Her grandmother is ill and unable to take care of her, so officially starting next week, I am Hannah's legal guardian." She sighed and looked down for a moment, collecting her thoughts before continuing. "This promotion came up suddenly and I knew I had to take it. I can give the Hannah the kind of life she deserves."

Caine moved forward and lightly touched Javan's face. "I'm sorry, I should have told you or at least talked to you about it. This effects you almost as much as it does me and Hannah, it was insensitive and wrong of me to not bring this to you, I'm sorry Javan."

Javan shook his head, "No, I understand the impulses of having to make a decision like that. I don't hold it against you, really. I just don't know what this means for us. I mean, what about us?"

"I don't know, what about us? Are you willing to give up this sort of life to follow me? Are you willing to try a long distance relationship? I have no idea what to do about us, I think that is one of the main reasons I didn't tell you about all of this, I'm scared of what is going to happen between us."

The ideas were running rampant through his head. Long distance relationships never worked, he was sure. It was just a lose-lose situation. If he transferred off he lost his mission and if he didn't he lost his love. Damn work, damn it all. "I - I - I can't go with you. I have too much of my career invested here. You know I love you, Caine, but I just can't."

Caine nodded her head, silent tears flooding her eyes, bluring her vision. "Alright," she said, bending over, she picked up her box and made to walk out of her office. "I'm willing to wait for you."

It will never happen, Javan, he thought to himself. The paths of their lives were branching and going away. He knew that once this mission was over he would move onto the next one, and the next, and in the end he would be nothing more than an operative. Avalon was the closest he'd ever come to home, but he and Caine Reilly McKinsley were not meant to be. "Caine, I love you, but..." He couldn't bring himself to say it.

"But you don't think this is going to work," Caine said, shaking her head. "I love to you too Javan and if you ever think it might, you'll know where I'll be." With that, she turned and walked out the door, her heart breaking with each step.

It felt as if someone had ripped his heart out and stomped on it. There was so much he wanted to tell her and explain to her, so much that she already knew but had forgotten because of him, there was just so much. "I know," he muttered to himself as he exited and walked down the opposite hallway. The fact was, as he turned and saw her retreating form, he realized that he cared for her. But, even in that strong love, he cared for the Section more.

Farewell Caine.



Other related posts: