<USS Avalon> "The Measure of Eternity"

The Measure of Eternityby Ensign Ffej Harak and Petty Officer Vevay Davis 


Ffej exited the secondary armory with a sigh. Another damn shift spent 
inventoring. His feet carried him down corridor after corridor aimlessly, his 
mind adrift with the stars outside the ship's hull. Turning down another 
corridor, memories of Vevay lanced painfully through his heart and mind. I 
won't let her go so easily, she betrayed my trust and it will take time to 
repair that, but I cannot deny my feelings... "Computer, locate Petty Officer 
Vevay Davis." Before the computer could finish its responce, he had already 
cleared the next bulkhead, moving quickly.

---------------------------------

A grunt of frustration escaped her as she pounded her anger and guilt into the 
boxing bag in front of her. If it had been a human, it would be bruised and 
bloodied on the floor but it just took her rage with silent judgement, held in 
place by her training partner. The yeoman seemed uneasy about the level of 
violence she was throwing at it, but she really didn't care.

Ffej slowed his pace as he rounded the corner, coming to a complete stop at the 
doors to the gym. He ran his hands through his hair, staring at the doors 
blankly. Just confront her! She can't hide from you forever. With a deep 
breath, he stepped forward as the doors parted, instantly he heard the grunts 
and sharp impacts. He locked his eyes on the pair. Feeling sorry for the bag 
and marginally sorry for the yoeman behind it, he stood there and admired her 
physique at a distance. God, she's beautiful.

The yeoman glanced up at the new-comer and their eyes met briefly. A plea for 
help was exchanged but he remained dutifully where he was, holding the bag for 
Vevay's release.

Taking a circuitous route to approach from the far side of the bag, carefully 
staying out of her line of sight. Once he got close enough, he whispered to the 
yoeman to retrace his steps. Ffej grabbed the bag and took over spotting for 
the innocent man.

She saw nothing except the bag, the face she pictured was that of a man she 
knew she would never be able to best, but she could imagine, she could pretend. 
"Bloody spineless, stupid little bitch," she muttered as she took one last 
punch, throwing everything she had into it.

He grunted with each impact, impressed with her strength, although curious as 
to how much of that strength was attributed to pure rage: she was exuding 
enough for several people. Her intent and focus channeled all of it, preventing 
any kind of probe he sent her way. "How long have you been working the bag?"

"Wh... what?" Taking a step back, she ran the back of her hand over her 
forehead, suddenly accutely aware of how sweaty she was. "Er... where's Conway? 
And what the hell are you doing here?" Her voice came out a whole lot sharper 
than she'd intended and instantly apologised. "I don't know, about an hour, 
hour and a half?"

Draping a hand on the top of the bag, using it for support, he said, "I'm here 
looking for you. As for Conway, I sent him off a few moments ago. He seemed 
rather distressed." He grinned like a child at her, "Couldn't see why..."

"He's a fucking wimp. Went one fucking round with him, he got one bloodied lip 
and he gave in. Had to use the damn bag instead." Grabbing a small towel, she 
started to dry herself off, still muttering about the uselessness of her 
partner.

His smile melted instantly at the anger and venom in her voice. "Is this the 
real Vevay?"

"What?" She shot him a glare. "The real Vevay? How can there possibly be just 
one?" And now you're digging a sodding great hole for yourself so just stop 
before you hit the deck three floors down. "Sorry," she whispered as she turned 
away and grabbed her bag. "I just wanted a decent workout, that's all. Sorry."

He watched her carefully and followed her with his eyes. "So there's a 
differant Vevay for every occasion?. How contrite, I guess I should have 
expected as such." He turned on his heels and stalked towards the door.

"Damn you! Why the fuck did you come here?" She span to face his retreating 
back. The bag in her hands was suddenly too heavy to hold but instead of 
dropping it, she threw is full force at him.

He heard the rough whistle of the bag as it pelted toward his back. At the last 
instant, he span with the trajectory, lashing his arm out and grasping it in 
air. He continued to spin another 180 degrees to face her. Bag held at his 
side, he said, "I came for you. I refuse to let you go." Ffej's eyes drifted to 
the floor. "Why are you avoiding what happened between us?"

His words hit her like the punch she'd dealt Conway earlier. Avoiding it? Was 
she? She'd deliberately kept out of Ffej's way, assuming he didn't want to see 
her ever again despite his parting words after the interview. Her anger drained 
away and she couldn't look at him anymore. Quietly, she said, "Why do you still 
want something from me? What is there that you could possibly need from someone 
like me?" Find someone sweet, someone honest; not me, I can never be that for 
you.

He dropped the bag at his feet. "Because I still see the true you inside." Her 
suface thoughts danced within his grasp, echoing. "You are everything you think 
you're not. What I don't understand is why you can't escape your father's 
specter. You don't need someone like him in your life; he is dead in your 
heart, but not your mind."

"You have no idea." The bitterness of her words rang between them. "Do you know 
how many times I ran away? How many bones I had to set myself? How often I 
heard my mother's screams as he beat her and abused her, knowing that when he 
was done, he would come for me?" Her eyes were dry but her voice was soft as 
she finally admitted, "How much I prayed that her torture would last longer so 
that he would be too tired for mine?"

In an instant he was at her side, wrapping his arms around her, consoling her 
anguish with the loving tenderness he yearned for her. Gently running his hand 
down her hair, soothing her with soft whispers... His eyes drifted up from the 
floor, watching her from across the room. His foot partially raised in action 
mere seconds ago was completed in his mind. "V, don't blame yourself for the 
actions of a heartless monster. Look at it from your mother's eyes. Would she 
have faltered and succumbed to his actions sooner, had you not been there for 
her to protect? There isn't a mother in the universe that wouldn't sacrifice 
her own life for her child."

"But I left her there, her and my brother, to the whims of an evil man." He 
couldn't touch the decayed core of her heart, the pain that had eaten away at 
her for the last five years; nothing ever would.

"Have you made contact with your fam... Mother or brother since you joined 
Starfleet?"

"No," she whispered.

"Why not?" He took a slow halting step closer to her. "Everything I've felt 
from you, everything you shared with me..." Unwilling to voice the horror of 
death or feed her false hope if that death could be the man she despised.

"Because if I don't ask, it can't hurt me. If I don't try, they'll both be just 
fine and he won't have won."

He had closed the gap between them by a scant few feet. "So your pride and fear 
have denied you peace? Did you join JAG to end the suffering others would feel 
from men like him? A paltry excuse if you can't bring the battle in your heart 
to an end. You need not face it alone..."

"Don't mock me." She finally made eye contact with him. "And don't question my 
motives. I am alone, always."

His forward progression halted the instant their eyes met. "Who's mocking you? 
I'm just showing you what you show me. As for being alone, you do that to 
yourself. Here I stand open to you, even after what's happened."

Why? She yearned to close the distance, to pull his arms around her and let him 
help. Pride kept her back straight and her feet rooted to the spot. She had 
carried this perfectly well until this man had tried to come into her life. Who 
was he, to demand she give up her independence to him? Searching his face, she 
took one hesitant step toward him.

Slowly, he raised a hand motioning her to stop. "If you come to me, you accept 
help and support when you need it. It's there if you want it or not. I'm not 
demanding any change in you, other than honesty." His eyes closed briefly. "At 
least honesty with me. You are still you. I don't want to change you, nor 
control you. Open your eyes and see truth. What has passed between us was duty, 
I accept that, because if I was in your place... I probably would have done the 
same." He let out a sigh as his hand dropped to his side. His gaze penetrating 
her own.

The space between them was like a gaping chasm, unfathomably deep and dangerous 
to cross. A million miles would have been easier to walk, planets smashing 
themselves to pieces around her. One foot hovered above the floor and she 
stopped. What if the ground wasn't there anymore when she stepped forward? 
Would he catch her?

He stood there, motionless, awaiting her choice. Eternity passed in the blink 
of an eye. Galaxies were born, died, and born again in the span of a single 
breath. For the first time she was blank to him, as unreadable as glass.

Reaching for his hand, she said, "Help me?"

Reaching out towards her, calmly walking, life sparkled in his eyes as they 
never had before. The length of miles between them shrank at such a speed that 
distance lost all meaning. He wrapped his arms around her, crushing her to him, 
fearing to let go lest she vanish. God, don't let this be a dream. A single 
pearl of moisture leaked from his eye and trailed the valley of the scar 
marring his face.

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