<USS Avalon> =/\= The Dating Game =/\=

=/\= The Dating Game =/\=

Of course, Kaera hadn't a clue what to wear on a date to a casual 
restaurant.  She'd never been on a date to a casual restaurant, or to any 
restaurant for 
that matter.  She didn't date.

So after a great deal of thinking, she decided that her one civilian dress 
would be a better choice than a tunic and trousers.  It was a simple black 
dress, and she paired it with a coppery-metallic shoulder wrap.  In honor of 
the 
occasion, she let her hair down and brushed it into shining waves that hung 
past 
her waist.  A copper clasp shaped like a butterfly held the usual wayward 
locks from falling into her face.

Cam, wearing khakis and a smooth black sweater, smiled warmly when he saw 
her.  "You clean up real nice," he drawled, projecting his appreciation so that 
she could read him empathically.

She stiffened, unaccustomed to such things.  But he only offered her his 
hand, the smile never wavering.  "The ground shuttle leaves in five minutes."

The Big Ditch was in a rambling stone building with a wide porch.  Inside, a 
series of rooms, many of them with canyon views, held small clusters of 
tables, rough-hewn but finished with enough coating to render them smooth and 
even.

Kaera slipped into the booth they were shown to, and sat watching Cam's face. 
His brown skin and pale hair fascinated her, but even more, she was 
fascinated by his easygoing ways. It had been a long time since she was... 
desired... 
and this felt so very different.

He smiled at her warmly as they sat down finding her very attractive and more 
than a little mysterious. But there was something else going on, with her, he 
felt. "You have been quiet for too long Kaera. It isn't any fun to just 
absorb from the other. You must share equally."

"I'm not sure I understand." She tilted her head curiously. "Do you mean 
something," her voice dropped, "empathic? I -- truly, I don't know much about 
it, 
other than what I sense."

He smiled again. It was as if he was welcoming her to a very special club 
that he knew she belonged to, even if she didn't understand fully what it meant 
yet. "I speak of not just the gift itself, but of what it can mean to one who 
possesses it." He lowered his head feeling a bit of her fear, he decided to 
change the subject, even if only slightly. "You enjoyed your guided tour of the 
Rim. Do you think you would have enjoyed it as much with just a standard 
visitor's map?"

"Oh, of course not!" Kaera blushed darkly. "I---" Her fingers traced the edge 
of the menu on the table in front of her. "I'm just not used to... to being 
open about it. On Cardassia, it was a crime. And no one expects a Cardassian to 
be psi-sensitive, so..." She let that dangle.

He absently picked up his own menu. "Pity that you were forced to hide such 
an important part of yourself. And a shame that you were never encouraged to 
explore," he spoke with emphasis his next word, "all, of the aspects to the 
gift. But not something that cannot be overcome." They both looked over their 
menus in silence before he made an extremely generous offer. "If you are open 
to 
it, I would be happy to continue to be a guide of a different sort."

It was the offer she had known was coming. And she was just curious enough to 
take him up on it, though the idea of being intimate with another empath, 
with someone who would know exactly how she felt, was intimidating. "I have 
never 
been with someone who was not Cardassian," she murmured, and let him do the 
math, since she'd told him she was 21 and had come here to Earth four years ago 
for her schooling after living in a relocation camp for a year. The menu was 
eclectic and she had no idea what she wanted to eat.

His lips curled into a grin at the implication of his arithmetic. And like 
many males of many species found the implication... arousing. A feeling he made 
no effort to hide. He placed the menu to the side, having decided on a 
selection for now. He was, however, growing a little frustrated with not 
feeling any 
of her own passion. He decided to ease her worry a bit. "We can start as 
slowly as you would like, of course. My study of humanoid emotions has led me 
to 
the irrefutable fact that many of us derive pleasure from consuming food. 
Especially when that food is consumed with someone else."

That brought a smile to Kaera's lips, as she tentatively shared her amusement 
with him. "What do you recommend?" she asked, glancing at the menu in 
frustration. "I haven't any idea whether I want to choose something I know, or 
something new."

"Perhaps something that is new, yet familiar?" He allowed the innuendo to 
hang there, wanting to see how she would react to a more overtly playful 
statement. He saw her smile broaden slightly and was able to sense her faint 
desire as 
well. She was keeping it hidden for reasons he could only guess at. He 
absently brushed a silken hair that had come around and was tickling his neck.

"Mmm..." She looked at the menu again... "Wood-fired stone oven pizza with 
white sauce, spinach, and four cheeses...?" And arched a brow-ridge as she 
looked to him for his opinion.

He nodded his approval. "I think I will get something else and we can each 
share with the other. The grilled peppers, stuffed with portobello mushrooms, 
basil and tomatoes." He smiled over to her without having picked up his menu 
again, hoping she found his idea appealing.

Pleased, she nodded, still smiling, and watched as he beckoned the server and 
placed their order, adding a bottle of wine to the selections. "I'm not very 
good at what they call small talk," she said as the server departed.

"Perhaps if I asked you a question." He looked at her gently. "Why are you 
afraid to let what you feel to the surface? You are not on Cardassia any more, 
and I have given you no reason to hide your abilities from me."

Kaera shrugged. "Habit, I suppose," she responded, watching his eyes. "And... 
I have never made friends easily, even when I was a child. I've become 
accustomed to being alone... to feeling alone," she confessed softly. "I try to 
open 
up, sometimes, but it's so against my usual habits that I can't sustain it 
for long."

"Do you enjoy pain?" He looked at her with concern in his eyes. He could 
sense the gulf behind her words. She looked up at him surprised by the follow 
up 
question. "If you allow yourself to feel what those around you feel, you will 
find that you will not be as alone as you think. You may even find that you 
need not hide away from everyone any more." The waiter had brought them each a 
glass and the bottle of wine and Cam took a long sip before continuing. "Look 
at 
the couple in the corner." She looked to her left and found who he was 
talking about. It was a young man and woman, apparently on their honeymoon 
trip. 
"Now, look back to me. Feel how happy they are to be together? Can you feel 
their 
passion for one another?"

She could, but she cringed away from experiencing someone else's emotion so 
starkly. "It's rude," she protested quietly.

"I am not asking you to see anything that cannot be seen through simple 
observation, Kaera." He scanned the room with his eyes before finding another 
couple. "There, outside at the first table. They are on their first date." She 
turned slightly and looked before looking back to him. He just smiled at her. 
"See. You aren't invading anyone's privacy. However, if you would rather... 
feel 
what I feel." He projected his desire for her. A desire he had felt nearly from 
the moment they had met a few hours ago. She felt something else too. 
Something she could not yet identify.

Feeling washed ashore on a wave of Cam's desire, Kaera reached for her glass 
with a trembling hand. "That's not fair, when we haven't even had our dinner 
yet," she breathed, and took a sip.

He saw the tremble of her hand and recognized what it meant but she was still 
keeping him out. His anger finally flared, and unleashed a verbal assault on 
the still shaking girl. "You DARE talk to me of what is fair?!? You who feel 
my joy, my pleasure, my desire and simply absorb it, keeping me out? You have 
no right to talk to me about what is or isn't FAIR." He snatched up his drink 
and downed a gulp. "Or are you only interested in feeling from others?"

Kaera sat back in absolute befuddlement as the server appeared with their 
food. Once the server had discreetly withdrawn, she leaned her elbows on the 
table and spoke in a bare whisper. "I don't know how to do what you want me to 
do, 
Cam. I've never... been with... another empath. I never realized I was one, 
until I left Cardassia and started reading about psi sensitivity. Whatever I 
know how to do is only what has come naturally to me."

He softened and beckoned her closer. "I can guide you if you wish. But you 
must begin to break down the wall you have built in your mind."

"Show me how?" she asked quietly.

"First you must relax. Allow yourself to feel the vibration of the room. 
Before you can truly feel the emotions of others, you must first feel your own."

The only feeling she could feel at the moment was hunger. She looked from Cam 
to the food, apologetically.

He nodded understanding her plight. "Actually, that might be a good way to 
start. Take a bite. But only one, for now." He watched as she did so.

"That's it. Feel how it tastes. Now... describe it with your mind... but 
don't use words."

Kaera wondered why only one bite, but she followed his instructions. It was 
hard to feel taking a bite of food. Intellectually, she supposed the difficulty 
went back to when she'd been hungry all the time, when there wasn't any food, 
and when there was she had to practically sell her soul for it...

Cam closed his eyes and a frown formed on his face as he felt only want from 
her. "You are not enjoying your meal?" He opened his eyes again and focused on 
her as she was just staring at her plate.

"I was hungry," she whispered, feeling again the fierce gnawing in her belly, 
the burn of bile in her throat from trying to fill up on water that was far 
from pure and clean. "It was after the bombings, after the burning... my family 
was gone, and I had nothing..." Tears brimmed in her eyes as she choked on 
her words.

He could feel the the pain in her belly and in her mind and it made him ache. 
He looked around the room and saw that by now they were nearly alone, save a 
few of the staff. He rose and joined her on her side of the booth.  "I'm 
sorry." He put an arm around her to try to comfort her.  At the same time, he 
knew 
it was good for her to feel these things again. "I know it is difficult. And I 
know the pain you feel because of it, but you should explore this. Now."

Kaera leaned her head against him, trembling in the circle of his arm. 
Silently, she re-lived not only the hunger, but the shame, the torment of the 
things 
she had had to do for a few morsels of food. How she had survived only by 
trading herself for the sustenance to continue. How she had needed to feel the 
arousal of others in order to be receptive to their advances. Silently, she 
cried, tears streaming down her face.

Cam just held her. He could still taste the bile in his own mouth that she 
had tasted in hers a moment ago. He could feel her shame and projected to her 
simple acceptance.  "It's all right, my sweet one. You can let it all go. Show 
me the rest."

And she did... the relief at being accepted into the relocation camp, the 
elation of acceptance to Starfleet Academy... and the disappointment when she 
was 
shunned by so many of her classmates there. Her rationalizing that there must 
be something truly wrong with her, causing her not to have friends. And, 
finally, the intensity of throwing herself into her work, to shut out an 
unfriendly universe in the satisfaction of doing something useful.

He felt all of it with her the taste finally beginning to leave his mouth. He 
took a bit of a ragged breath as he fought to keep from feeling overwhelmed 
by the pain she felt. He took a sip of water to clear his mouth finally. "Good. 
You did well. But there is a question. Why do you focus on remembering ONLY 
the pain?

"Surely there were moments in the camp that were good. Even happy. You were 
abused terribly, I know, but everyone has people in their past they have been 
attracted to. I know that I have." He offered to show her if she was willing.

Kaera didn't know the answer, and thought about it for long moments. "The 
pain is so much stronger than anything else," she murmured finally. "It's -- 
more 
recent. After losing my family... family is everything to Cardassians. 
Everything. To be without a family is to be virtually dead. And I haven't had 
anything to take the place of a family, since then." She shook her head. "I 
know -- 
in my mind, I know it's senseless. But my heart doesn't know that... and... 
it's... numb." Her voice dropped to almost nothing as the last few words were 
practically dragged out of her.

He continued to hold her to him almost protecting her in his arms. "Many 
cultures value the strength of family, Kaera. Including my own. And many people 
have lost their families in ways both tragic and horrifying. They don't have to 
close themselves off to everything as a result." He toyed with the clasp 
holding her hair. "You are allowed to feel good. We all are. Believe me when I 
say 
to you that I know the pain you feel. I have felt it, along with many others. 
But we go on." 

He cupped her chin in his palm. He could feel something from her. He 
struggled to identify it as he wiped the tears from her face, bringing her hair 
out to 
frame it.

Leaning into him, she half noted as an aside that the server had packed up 
their food in containers to take with them. Had Cam signaled for it, or were 
the 
restaurant people just that perceptive? But she forced every scrap of her 
attention back to him. "I survived," she whispered, a small part of her begging 
for confirmation. "I'm here now."

"You were strong. You had to be. But you have a vulnerability as well, that 
many will find attractive. That I find attractive." He smiled at her warmly, 
almost playfully at her. "We are both here now."

Her voice came out almost silently, barely enough for him to hear close to 
his ear. "Will you teach me, Cam? Will you teach me to feel good, if only for a 
little while?"

He still had his hand cupping her chin. He ran his other hand down her arm, a 
light touch along the fine scales there. "I can teach you to enjoy yourself. 
I can help you. But we must share, equally." He looked around a bit. "And we 
may want to find a more private place."

Well, yes, there was that. Kaera nodded, and let him stand up first so that 
she had room to get up from her seat.

He stood up, and took her hand. As she got up to follow he took the 
containers of food before leading her out. 

=/\=

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