<USS Avalon> Sunsets Gone, Warm Nights Forgotten, and Bitter Tears Wiped Dry PT 3
- From: Dodge Thomas <dodgethomas2000@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: avalon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Tue, 2 Sep 2003 06:39:09 -0700 (PDT)
Sunsets Gone, Warm Nights Forgotten, and Bitter Tears Wiped Dry.
PT3
-Dodge Thomas, Lindsay Kaiser, Carson Fuller
"Minor cleaning? What do you mean minor cleaning!?!" The chief engineer
Lieutenant Dodge Thomas, was absolutely livid. "What did they do in here?
Perform surgery with ceiling fans and chain saws!? Have you seen this place?"
"Yes, Lieutenant. I have." The Vulcan who had instructed him to thoroughly
cleanse the entire cargo bay raised an eyebrow. "You are acting most...human."
"Imagine that!"
"Your sarcasm will not aid your avoidance of this task. It will be done. By
you."
"Why me?"
"Because you are the only available officer, because it needs to be done, and
mostly because I said so."
"Yes-Sir." Dodge said as bitterly as he could without being considered out of
line. "Thank you sir."
"You are welcome, Dodge Thomas." The Vulcan raised his eyebrow again, turned
and left the filthy room.
The few triage patients and a couple of attending nurses remaining in the cargo
bay quickly turned away from Dodge as he returned to the room. It was obvious
to him that they had been observing the entire verbal transaction with at least
a minor amount of interest. He simply glared. He could have cared less about
the wounded of the allegiance. He had his own issues to deal with.
Ed, for instance, was reaching the last stages of self-decompilation, and he
was stuck cleaning the bloody (literally) cargo bay.
"You've quite a temper there, Lieutenant." A Trill male said to him. Bandages
adorned his head and the head of his female companion. Several cuts and bruises
decorated both of their faces.
Dodge scowled. "Of what business to you is my temper?"
"We were in the blast radius when you went off." The female replied.
Dodge stopped, then took on an air of mock sympathy. "Oh, I am truly sorry
about that. Let me know if there's anything I can do to make your stay more
comfortable."
"The Vulcan was right. Sarcasm will get you nowhere."
"Why should I care?!" Dodge was growing definitively tired of the conversation.
"Why are you so angry?" the woman asked softly.
"Hmm, let me see." Dodge made a show of looking around the cargo bay. "Oh yea,
now I remember, BECAUSE YOU GUYS BLED ALL OVER THE PLACE!"
"That's too bad. You seem like such a nice person." The man commented.
"First of all, I don't know either of you, and second I don't care what your
opinion of me is."
"Doctor Carson Fuller, at your service. This is Doctor Lindsay Kaiser."
Dodge narrowed his eyes. "You two are both Trill, right?"
The two of them nodded curtly.
"Then where's the 'Dax' surname, or are you two just unjoined?"
The two doctors looked aghast. To be an unjoined adult Trill was to be an
outcast amongst the Trill. It bordered on criminal and was definitely abolished
in all religious and scientific circles. To be unjoined was like living in the
lowest caste of the society. Your accomplishments and abilities mattered not.
"We are NOT unjoined, mister Thomas. That, I can assure you. However,
circumstantially, our symbiants have chosen not to take on the Dax
nomenclature."
"What does that mean?" Dodge had forgotten about being angry. Trill had always
fascinated him with their ability to live multiple lives through multiple
entities.
"Many years ago, a transport carrying the symbiant part of the Trill
crash-landed on a Federation colony. As you may or may not know, the Dax
lifeform multiplies by division. Our Dax was severely injured in the crash.
Most of the others died, but a group of humans rescued our Dax. However,
several things were wrong with it, so the humans force-divided it and used
spare organs from the already dead Dax to bring it back to health. Then, for
three lifetimes, we existed inside human hosts who gave up their single lives
to keep us alive. As such, the Trill family that were originally were committed
to our Dax were viewed as outcasts--as unjoined. It wasn't their fault, but
they were punished all the same." Lindsay looked at Dodge squarely, then at
Carson.
"When the Trill, the Humans, and the Dax were finally placed in their proper
areas, an emotional, mental bond had been forged. That bond lasts till this
day. This bond is why the Dax symbiant has chosen to remain nameless. Out of
respect for itself, or rather, itselves, and out of respect for the three
generations of humans who housed it. I'm sure it's difficult to understand, but
it is our goal in life to change the monolithic mentality of the Trill."
"Why? The Trill have survived with their Dax symbiants and the corresponding
names for thousands of years. Why change that now?"
"Because," Carson continued, "it's outdated. On our homeworld, we are treated
with little more respect than an unjoined Trill, simply because we the Trill
and we the Dax have agreed to uphold an agreement made between the humans and
the Dax, an agreement to take as little from the Trill as we can. Many Dax, you
see, are greedy and obsessive about their Trill. They demolish many vital parts
of the memory, replacing it with their own consciousness. With us, we are more
Trill than Dax."
"The Dax is still a major part of us, carrying our minds, our souls, our very
being from one life to the next and providing enrichment as it passes on to the
next Trill."
"We are given a larger, more grand scale look at life. But that ability comes
at a great social cost. On the homeworld, people stop short at hurtling rocks
in our general direction, but all else goes." Carson let out a sad, shuddering
sigh.
"Without the Federation, we would be lost, Two people who share almost
everything in common, from the same beliefs to practically the same Dax
symbiant. I see the same in you."
"What are you talking about?" Dodge asked, a bit of the hostility returning to
his voice.
"The Federation has given you more than you can imagine."
"You're wrong." Dodge spat bitterly. "The Federation is responsible for my
greatest losses."
The two Trill remained silent.
"My wife...my beautiful wife...and my only son. Both of them slaughtered--but
did the Federation intervene? No. Why? Why couldn't they have sent a single
security contingent? Because of a clerical error. Given me more than I could
imagine? I think not."
Lindsay took on the look and voice of pity. "It is a terrible thing, if what
you say is true, that the Federation would ignore your cry for help."
"We won't." Carson said plainly.
"And why should I care what you two do? You're not my friend, your not my
family. You're my total stranger."
"It doesn't have to be that way." Lindsay spoke softly.
"Who the hell are you two? Why do you think that I would ever care what a pair
of rebellious Trill do or think or say? Why are you even talking to me!?"
"Because, you appeared to need help. Your words, your very body language was
screaming out for help."
"What?!"
"You don't live several lives without learning a thing or two about humanoid
expressions of emotion."
"Lieutenant, whatever happened to you, no matter how terrible or how cruel,
it's all in the past."
"How cold do you get?" Dodge asked, shock and anger filling every word. His
whole body shook.
"You need to get past this, Dodge. May I call you Dodge?" Carson asked
cordially.
"No. No you may not."
Carson continued. "If you keep dwelling upon this, it's going to destroy you.
Can't you see? It's killing you from the inside out. Dodge, if you don't deal
with this right now, you'll die away, you'll become a shell of a man, unable to
love or even care. Is that what you want?"
Dodge was silent, his face hard as stone. He was trying desperately not to
break, but the lump in his throat and the burning within his very soul cried
out. His lower lip trembled slightly and a trace of wetness began to show in
his eyes. With a long, shuddering sigh, he sat down on a cargo crate. "Why are
you doing this to me? You don't know what it's like, having to bury your loved
ones, holding their lifeless hands and then covering them with soil stained red
with their blood."
The kindness vanished from Lindsay's face, the Dax part of her speaking out
with full force. "We don't, do we? You think we've never had to bury a loved
one? Do you know how close we are to our symbiants? It's like losing a part of
yourself e-v-e-r-y s-i-n-g-l-e b-l-o-o-d-y t-i-m-e! Do you know how that feels?
Have you any clue what so ever?" Lindsay's eyes welled up with tears and she
broke down.
"You, unlike most humanoids have a clue...we know. We read your records. We've
had a lot of time on our hands. Out of all the department heads, yours was the
most accessible. We're sorry for the breech in privacy, but we are joining this
ship in the security department, so it all fits with protocol."
Dodge barely heard what Carson had just said, his mind still dwelling on the
ravings of Lindsay. "You two...care? Why? This isn't...that is, I?m not used to
this. Why?"
"Because, Dodge, everyone, no matter who they are or what their lives have been
like, is important. We learned that through the Humans who gave up everything
to house us. They taught us to care about our hosts, taught us that everyone is
unique. They taught us humanity. Very few Trill will ever know that trait. Most
will remain content to be used, and most Dax will be content to use them. We
just want to be different. We just want to care." Carson smiled cautiously.
Dodge sniffed, wiping his eyes with one sweeping motion of his hand. "You know,
you...you really don't have to do this." His voice trembled as he spoke.
"Yes, we do." Carson continued. "You're a man apart from himself, watching with
agony as you slowly decimate your own life. These choices that you're making
only hurt yourself. You choose to be angry, mean and hateful. These bitter
tears of vengeance that you cry are bile, burning and scarring your very soul.
You have to let them lay to rest--Just like your wife. Remember her and stop
tainting that memory with your own personal feelings. It's not what she would
want, and it's not, deep down, what you want. We're offering our hand in
friendship. All you have to do is reach out and take hold." Carson looked down
at him meaningfully.
For a long while, Dodge stared at the floor. His entire mentality, the very
hate and anger that had gotten him through the past few years, was beginning to
falter. A great pain welled up within him. He remembered how life had been
before, the happiness and contentment he had felt with himself and with life.
That part of him still lived on, buried and suppressed deep within his cold and
bitter heart.
But now things were different. That part of him was struggling to be free.
Dodge swallowed his pride and anger, looked up at Carson. A smile found it's
way to his face. Carson smiled back. Dodge looked over at Lindsay. She was also
smiling.
"Thanks...both of you."
"Our pleasure, Lieutenant." Lindsay's face beamed.
"Dodge...you-you can call me Dodge."
"Any time, Dodge, any time at all." Carson spoke jovially, patting him on the
back.
The two of them turned and started out the door. Dodge felt immensely happy
inside, as if some great burden had simply vanished. An aching pain that he had
become so familiar with, familiar to the point of acceptance and
near-affection, was simply gone. A part of him that had been dead came to life
again at that moment. Suddenly, and with sudden realization, Dodge found that
he cared once again.
His combadge beeped.
"Lieutenant Thomas. Have you completed the cleansing of the cargo bay?"
"I'm on it sir." Dodge replied, a note of happiness in his voice. The doors to
the cargo bay slid shut and Dodge looked at them. He really didn't understand
what had just transpired, but he knew he liked the feeling that was growing
within. It was time to make something of himself, and a messy cargo bay was
just the place to start.
___________________________________________________________________________
Several hours later, Dodge exited the sparkling cargo bay under the approval of
the Vulcan officer who had instructed him to clean it. His back ached and his
fingers hurt, but he felt good inside. A job well done, he thought happily. He
passed by the doors to the holodeck and a feeling of unease struck him. He
stopped and looked at the entrance, his brow wrinkling.
It was time to let go.
He entered.
"Computer, activate program Thomas-zero-zero-six."
The gridded room vanished, replaced by a cliff-top view of a countryside. It
was evening and the air was warm. Summer winds rustled through the trees. A
woman of immense beauty sat on a grassy patch of earth beneath a weathered old
oak tree.
"Dodge? Is that you honey?" A voice from the past called out with painful
recollection. Dodge sighed.
The program running represented the last night he had spent with Bridgett, his
wife while she was still alive. Before the Orions came and changed everything.
"Yes...it's me."
"Won't you come and sit down? It's almost time." Her voice was carried to him,
a sweet sound lace with the love that had once lived within her.
"Yea...okay." He sat down near her, the sun reaching the horizon. The clouds
were illuminated brilliantly, shades of red, purple, pink and blue scattered
magnificently overhead as far as the eye could see. The two of them sat in
silence watching the sun slowly set. The beautiful sunset faded gradually until
it was only a shadow of it's former self.
"Night's coming." Bridgett said softly.
"I know." He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "Goodbye, my dear."
She looked at him sadly, understanding in her eyes.
"Computer, end program and delete."
The sun sank beneath the horizon, the last bit of light leaving with it. A
single star stood out in the sky. The program ended,.
Dodge sighed.
The time for healing had come, and Dodge was ready to greet it with open arms.
---------------------------------
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