<USS Avalon> "Seeking Insight"

Seeking Insight
by Lts Joshua Garrity and Sussanna Jameson

Hugging herself, Anna marched away from the Mess Hall. She'd almost
convinced herself to start shift early but the thought that Mac would expect
her to share was making her sick. That wasn't the Mac she'd got to know, the
one she'd started to... To what? Love? Want to be around all the time? She
certainly respected him and liked him. Maybe love, too early to tell really.

Stopping dead, Anna realised she'd overshot Sick Bay.  Where the hell am I
headed? She needed to talk to someone. Not Lissi. But there was no one else.
Josh. Mac's best friend. He'd explain, wouldn't he? Starting up again,
hesitantly at first, Anna began to walk to the Hanger Bay to find him.

The sounds of tinkering filled the bay as Anna wandered in. She bit her lip
as she approached. "Josh?" she called quietly. Realising that any normal
person wouldn't have heard of her, she called out again. "Can I talk to
you?"

Josh stiffened at the sound of someone stepping into the bay. Soft steps.
Tentative. Too light to be male. At the sound of his name being called, Josh
set down his tools and swung out of the shuttle. He leaned against the side
of it, shivering slightly in the cold as he nodded in response to her
request.

"It's about Mac. I mean, you're his best friend, right? You know him really
well. It's just that..."  God, how do I say this without sounding childish?
"He and I, well, I thought there was a 'he and I' but now I'm not so sure.
It seems more like a 'him and them' right now." She glanced up at him,
knowing that she was making no sense whatsoever.

Blowing out a breath to steady her nerves, Anna tried again. "We spent the
night together, Mac and I." A foolish grin escaped her as she thought of it.
"It was really nice, I thought it meant the same to him as it did to me
but... Well, I just finished having breakfast with four rather interesting
ladies that told me I'm expected to share him." She looked into Josh's eyes
again, her own going uncertain and a little scared. "I don't want to share
him. He didn't tell me. From what he said, it sounded like I got to... this
is so stupid... to keep him." She'd run herself dry. If he didn't
understand, she couldn't think how else to describe it to him.

Josh cocked his head to the side, eyes on the floor, listening intently as
she spoke. He glanced up when she mentioned the four ladies, saw the pained
and frightened look in her eyes, nodded his head when she got to the part
about what she'd thought. "What did he say?" he asked at last in his usual
calm and painfully quiet tones.

"That he wanted to keep me. But then I take it that he told them exactly the
same thing." Bitterness overshadowed her words and she started shivering. "I
never knew. About them, about his need for more than one. They said that
there was no way he would be satisfied with just me. Is that true?"

Josh thought about that a moment. There had never been a time since he'd
known him that Mac had been monogamous, but then, he'd never talked about
anyone the way he often spoke of Anna when she wasn't there. Considering
carefully how to answer her question, given he had no personal experience in
any field even close to the one they were discussing, he finally decided to
let her use her own experience to answer it. "Did he
seem...dissatisfied...with you?"

"No. He seemed happy. And he was sweet and gentle. But those women, they
were so adamant that they were what he wanted. How can he ever be happy with
just me?" Her cheeks flushed when she realised what she was talking about
and to whom. "I'm sorry," she mumbled. "He probably never mentions me at
all."

Josh smiled slightly and shook her head. Boy, was she off base. "Yeah...he
does..."

"When? What does he say?" She sounded needy but was past caring.

Josh blushed then, thinking of all the things Mac had mentioned about Anna.
He glanced at her, only to blush more brightly and look away quickly.
"He...he just..." He looked at her again and admitted lamely, having no clue
how else to put it. "He just...really likes you..."

Exhaling heavily, Anna frowned at the floor. "Wish I believed you Sport. He
likes the other women too, though, right? Talks about them a lot too?"

Josh shook his head, shrugging slightly. "Not .....not like that..." he
answered quietly at last.

"I need to talk to him about this, don't I?" she asked sheepishly.

Barely glancing up, Josh gave the slightest of nods, inexplicably glad she'd
finally come to that conclusion on her own.

"Thanks Sport." With a small smile, she added, "You eaten anything today?"

Shrugging noncommittally, Josh stood up straight and turned back toward the
shuttle entrance, deciding now would be a really good time to get back to
work.

Sighing at his retreating back, Anna shook her head. "If it weren't for
being a doctor, I'd probably try force-feeding you." The chronometer on her
write chimed loudly.  Bugger, late for work. At least Mac had a nice reason
to be late. "Thanks Sport," she said under her breath with a smile as she
strode off to Sick Bay and the daily grind.

Other related posts: