<USS Avalon> Rest

?Rest?

Melanie Redgrave and Celeste Jordà-Petri

 

 

It had just rained. The air felt heavy and smell fresh. She was in the park
near her home in London which meant that she should be smelling roses, but
the perfume that lingered in the air wasn?t rose. Melanie walked along the
path, the same path she?d walked hundreds of times as a child, looking for
her favorite rose breeds. Only something was wrong. She wasn?t finding any
roses. No matter where she looked all she saw were the same strange flowers
that had been in the gardens of the estate on Betazed.  The garden where
she?d met her mother. Mother. She was a mother now. Why wasn?t she on the
station? Where was the baby? Where was Vevay? ?Where am I? And Why am I
here??   

 

"It is your home, dearest. Where else would you be?" a gentle voice asked
from behind her. 

 

The voice made her smile and when she turned around Melanie was both scared
and thrilled. ?Hello again, Mother.? She stepped closer to her birth mother
and then frowned. ?But I shouldn?t be here should I? Something?s not right.?

 

"Oh?" Celeste asked, smiling softly. "Why do you think that?"

 

Melanie looked down at her now flat belly and for the first time in months
her feet. ?I should be with my child, with my daughter.?

 

"All mothers believe that. Sometimes, though, we must go where our needs can
be tended to first." Celeste beamed. "She's beautiful, you know."

 

?I.. I haven?t seen her yet.? Tears welled in Melanie eyes. ?Why am I here,
Mother? What needs do I need met? I want to go back but I can?t. It feels as
if I?m weighted down here.?

 

"And indeed you are in many ways, beloved, but don't worry. Not yet. Just
rest a moment. Come. Sit with me." Celeste moved forward to a bench in a
clearing surrounded by exotic flowers. 

 

As much as she wanted to spend time with her mother, dead or other wise,
Melanie wasn?t sure now was the time. Though it appeared she had no choice
in the matter. She walked over and sat next to her mother as asked and
looked around a moment. ?This is London but these aren?t Earth native
flowers.? She was avoiding what she really wanted to ask. Was she dead?

 

"This is truly neither place, beloved. It is a construct of your own mind.
And no, you aren't dead." Celeste almost laughed as she answered her
unspoken question.

 

Melanie nearly laughed. So that?s where Skyler gets it from. ?So I?m in
limbo?? 

 

Celeste laughed. "An apt description, though I prefer to think of it as 'on
vacation'. You're taking a little break."

 

?A little break?? Melanie asked as she watched an odd bug fly by. ?What the
bloody hell do I need a break from?? She blushed when she heard her own
words and tone, that was certainly no way for a lady to speak to her mother.
?Sorry.? 

 

Still laughing lightly, Celeste put an arm around her child. "Darling, they
call it labor for a reason, and yours was more difficult than most."

 

?The whole pregnancy was high risk.? Melanie sighed as she cuddled into her
mother?s embrace. ?I?ve never been more scared in my life then I was when I
thought I might lose her.?

 

Celeste nodded. "I remember that feeling with both of you girls. I very
nearly lost Skyler and you both several times early on." she sighed. "Thank
goodness for Georgia."

 

Melanie closed her eyes. ?We still lost each other.?

 

"Remember, my love," Celeste told her, giving her a gentle squeeze. "The
most beautiful thing about something lost is finding it."

 

?Have I truly found you or am I just dreaming you?? Melanie asked as she sat
up and turned so she could look at her mother. ?I mean you feel real, smell
real, sound and look as you did in the pictures and videos, but are you you
or just something I?ve dreamed up to fill a void??

 

"I'm here, darling. As I've always been." Celeste reassured her. "In truth,
I never left. How could I when my children are here?"

 

That made Melanie relax as if something had been taken off her shoulders.
?After I found out I was adopted Mum said she use to feel as if someone had
been watching over us, me. That was you?? 

 

"Of course," Celeste answered as if it should have been obvious. "Who else
would it be?"

 

Melanie shrugged. ?I?m just glad it was you.? She smiled softly and fell
quite for a few moments as her mind and thoughts cleared, then she sighed.
?I wish you were still here, here though. There?s still so much I don?t
understand about what I am, who I am.?

 

"I'm still very much with you, darling, and you know that in the era of
holo-recreation I can be physically as much with you as your dear nanny, but
I'm afraid that as far as who and what you are....much of that can only
really be answered by you." Celeste looked at her sadly. "I can tell you who
you were, but only you truly know who you are."

 

?A mixed up jigsaw puzzle with bits of two people who should really be one.?
Melanie sighed. ?Who?s only sure of three things, I?ve the love of my
mothers, I?ve been blessed with an amazing woman to love and be loved by,
and I?m hopelessly in love with child I?ve not even met yet.?

 

"That's more than most women are ever sure of," Celeste told her seriously.

 

She would have argued but seriously couldn?t find a thing to disagree with
in that statement. ?I?m pretty lucky.? 

 

"We both are," Celeste smiled. "Now, we've not much time before you return.
Tell me about this new love of yours. I wish to know all about her."

 

Melanie?s whole being lit up. ?She?s wonderful. She?s smart and funny and
warm. And sweet. She?s a security officer but she?s gonna go far I know it.
We have this.. bond.. The doctor called it something, it?s? It?s like she?s
apart of me, makes me whole. She?s been with me through all of this and
loves my child as much as I do, as if Gracie were her own child.?

 

"And of course she is, darling. There is so much more to family than blood.
Look at dear Georgia and Skyler if you have doubts." Celeste sighed gently,
her expression wistful. "I'm so grateful she was there to do for Sky all
that I could not."

 

?They both miss you.? Melanie said carefully. ?I think in a way it?s worse
for Skyler cause she actually has memories of you.?

 

"I think. perhaps you're right, though I know it's been hard for you too,
dearest." Celeste agreed.

 

?I still can?t help but wonder if I hadn?t have been sick if you?d still be
alive.? Melanie admitted softly. 

 

"No, dearest," Celeste sighed. "When it is time, it is time. I believe that.
You don't get to change it. Your illness coincided. Not caused."

 

Melanie nodded, trying to believe it completely. ?I?m glad you came, Mother,
I needed you.?

 

Celeste kissed her gently on the cheek and smiled. "And so, my dearest. What
troubles you?"

 

?I don?t,? She began to say she didn?t know and then sighed. ?I?m scared,
what if I can?t be a good mother??

 

"Oh, darling," Celeste gasped, surprised. "Of course you can. You already
are. You've put so much love and forethought into the care of this child
already, don't you see that?"

 

Melanie sighed. ?I couldn?t even keep myself from stressing, my blood
pressure was forever up, she was born nearly a month early.? 

 

Celeste corrected her gently, "You rested as much as possible, ate healthy,
took your medications and surrounded yourself with those who would love and
care for you and her both. She was born early, but healthy and very much
loved." 

 

Melanie chuckled softly. ?Vevay read to my stomach when she thought I was
asleep, and I sang to her all the time.?

 

Celeste almost laughed. "Your father used to read to you and Skyler both
when he thought I was sleeping, too. And I sang to you both. You see?"

 

Bright green eyes lit up and sparkled. ?You sing? Is that where I get it?? 

 

Celeste nodded slightly. "We're alot alike, you and I, my love." She told
her with a smile.

 

?Is it unfair of me towards my Mum to like that idea?? She asked carefully. 

 

"Of course not, darling. You're a good bit like her as well. Fairminded and
thorough. Honest and strong. Able to listen and withhold judgement until all
facts are in evidence and then merciful when the time to judge is at last at
hand. She's an admirable and wonderful woman. It pleases me greatly to see
her in you, too." Celeste answered honestly.

 

Another weight lifted from tired shoulders. ?I think you two would get along
brilliantly.?  

 

"I'd like to think so," Celeste nodded. "We share the most precious of
things in common, after all. You."

 

Melanie had tears in her eyes as she snuggled against her mother. 

 

Celeste held her for several long moments, then kissed her on top of the
head, and stood with her. "You are truly remarkable, my darling. And so is
your daughter. I'm so very proud of you. She's beautiful. Almost as
beautiful as you." As the light of the light seemed to fade, Celeste did as
well.  "I love you, my darling." her voice floated back through long after
all had gone dark in the garden. "I love you."

 

In the fading garden of her mind, as well as in the stillness of her sick
bay room, Melanie whispered. ?I love you too, Mother.?

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