<USS Avalon> Re: "Fresh Start"

          Be-be-be-boop. 
          Cailin woke slowly to the sound of her door chime. Actually, it had 
been going off for several seconds--it just hadn't registered until now 
because she wasn't used to it. 
           "Coming!" she called out, wondering who it could be even as she 
grabbed for her robe and put it on. 
           Reaching the door, she fastened the belt of the robe quickly then 
bade her visitor enter.
           Jack Fox stood smiling on the other side.
           "Morning," he said with a grin.
           "Jack, what are you doing here?" Cailin asked as she ushered him 
into her cabin.
           "You invited me to breakfast, remember?"
           Pressing a hand to her forehead, Cailin flushed with 
embarrassment. "I'm so sorry, I can't believe I forgot. Guess I'm just not used 
to being on 
a starship again. I barely heard the door chime."
           "I know. I stood out there for about five minutes--good thing you 
answered when you did, I was about to leave," Jack replied.
           Leading the way over to the dining area, more of a nook, she 
supposed, Cailin said, "Have a seat, please. I'll just go and get dressed, and 
then 
get breakfast."
           Jack nodded as he sat at the small table, and Cailin walked 
quickly into her bedroom. She dressed remarkably fast, had a uniform on and her 
thick hair pinned back and was out in the living room within minutes. 
           She stopped short when she saw that Jack already had a sumptuous 
breakfast on the table. 
           "What is all this?" she asked as she approached.
           "Breakfast," he replied, indicating the plates of pancakes, bacon, 
scrambled eggs and toast accompanied by syrup, butter, jam and a pitcher of 
orange juice.
           Cailin shook her head in amazement, absently taking the seat he 
pulled out for her. "But I invited you, you shouldn't have done this."
           "Don't worry, it was my pleasure," Jack returned as he took his 
own seat. He poured a glass of juice for both of them.
           "Well, thanks, Jack. But I still feel like I owe you."
           He laughed. "I'll be sure and hold you to that."
           Breakfast went well, each eating heartily. They didn't speak much 
until the meal was almost over.
           "I'm really glad I got to see you," Jack told her.
           "So am I. I just wish Avalon was going to be here longer. 
Breakfast just isn't long enough to get reacquainted," Cailin replied.
           "Yeah. I suppose you must not have heard it in your sleep, but 
your crew was recalled early this morning. You'll be out of here tonight."
           "It's just as well, then, that I'm already on board."
           Jack slowly reached over and took her hand in his. "It's...it's 
too bad that you and I won't have more time together, Idrial. We've already 
missed out on so much."
           She gave his hand a light squeeze before pulling hers away. "I 
know. I haven't got many friends anymore. And the ones I do have I can only see 
via subspace."
           "Count me among them, will you?"
           Cailin smiled. "I already do, Jack. You've always been my friend. 
Always will be."
           He nodded slowly. "If only...if things hadn't happened the way 
they did, where do you suppose you would be right now?" 
           Snuggled in bed with you, her inner voice replied, though Cailin 
remined silent for several seconds. 
           "I suppose on Tambora," she replied. 
           Jack's expression was serious. "Do you ever think about what would 
have happened...with us?" he asked.
           She looked at him, surprised. Though they had flirted around 
before, she'd never really been sure if he had the same feelings she did. After 
all, their species were different, and having children together would be 
difficult, if not impossible. 
           Only every day, said her inner voice.
           "I have," she replied slowly. "But Jack, it won't do either of us 
any good to dwell on what might have been."
           "What about what could be?" he pressed. "Cailin, we're both 
alive--we survived what happened to the Tambora. Don't you think that means 
something?"
           He was saying things her heart had wanted to hear for a long time. 
Secretly, thoughts of him had helped keep her going when she'd been 
imprisoned. But things were different now. 
           "Jack, we've both been through so much these last few years. Do 
you even know what you're saying?" 
           Jack rose and began to pace. "You must think this is coming out of 
nowhere, but it's not. I should have said these things to you years ago. 
Seeing you again has brought it all back for me."
           He turned to face her. "Cailin, I care about you. Even when I 
thought I'd never see you again, you were always on my mind. And when I learned 
you were still alive--I was so overwhelmed, I didn't know what to do. I was 
scared, afraid I'd changed too much for you."
           Cailin sighed. "Jack--did it ever occur to you that I may have 
changed too much for you?" Standing, Cailin moved closer to him. "I went 
through 
a lot during my captivity, things I still have nightmares about. I don't even 
like talking to my counselor about them, and thinking of telling you chills 
me. 
           "But I'd have to, Jack. I couldn't allow myself any kind of 
relationship--with any man--without telling everything that had been done to 
me. You 
have to be able to handle that."
           Jack stepped even closer, leaving no room between them. Looking 
into her eyes, he said, "Don't tell me you think I can't, Idrial. I didn't live 
through the destruction of my ship and crew for nothing. I didn't live through 
thinking you were dead for nothing. You have to be able to trust me with 
everything,  just as much as I have to be able to accept it. But we'll never 
know 
if what we had survived unless you take that risk."
           With his eyes boring into hers, Cailin suddenly knew. The news 
would hit him hard, and he would, as Kayla had said, feel outraged. But he 
would 
accept that she'd had no choice, and he would, in time, move on. As had she. 
           It would be a fresh start for both of them.

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