<USS Avalon> "More than Meets the Eye"

?More than Meets the Eye?
by Commander Javan Sierra
& Lieutenant JG Caine Reilly McKinsley



Caine leaned back in her chair as she surveyed what she had written. It was that time again when she needed to write the family, tell them all she was still alive and just give them an update on her life. Her fingers found their way to her collar and she slowly felt the second pip there. Smiling to herself, she sent the message that had all of her current information on it, including her new promotion that she was still very proud of.

He wasn't nervous. The dream still nagged at his thoughts, but he'd long since moved on with what it meant or what it didn't mean. The hallways were unusually long and he felt tired, as if he no longer wanted to carry on with what he was about to do. He'd been informed about what was happening and what he was to do, but he was going to give an order of his own. The door loomed up ahead and he gently reached over and tapped the chime on the doorjamb.

Not looking at the door, Caine offered a "come in" and went about looking through some of the mess on her desk looking for a hair tie for her hair. She made a mental note to clean up her area, it probably didn't look good for the counselor to have such a mess, but that was whom she was. Finding her black tie, she smiled triumphantly and pulled her hair back into a loose knot. Finally she looked up at her office door and her breath caught in her throat ? standing there was Javan. She hadn't seen him in a while but he was never far from her thoughts. Taking the opportunity, she drank in the sight of him while trying to re-collect herself.

Javan smiled that winning smile and took another full step forward into her office. For the first time in his life, or at least the first time since he could remember, Javan couldn't find the perfect words to say to her. He smiled again and he felt himself blushing; what did she do to him? "I wanted to let you know that when we find the people on Vargas II that I think a full psychological work-up should be done. I've yet to talk to Ketchum about it, but I'm sure that he'll feel it necessary as well." He turned and began pacing back away from her in the direction from whence he had come.

Caine nodded at his words, she knew about the situation and was already thinking the same thing herself, but Javan didn't see her nod, he already had his back to her and was on his way to the door. Coming to a quick decision, Caine jumped out of her chair and grabbed Javan's hand to stop him. She looked down at the floor not ready to look up at him, not even sure if he was looking at her. With her eyes glued to the floor and her hand still holding his, she whispered softly, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause problems with all that happened, I was scared of something from my past that I'm still scared of, but I'm dealing with it. I just needed to tell you that I am sorry."

"Caine," Javan started, but stopped. He didn't want to deal with this, but at the same time he wanted nothing more than to open the well in his heart and let out what he wanted to say to her all along. "I'm fine with you taking the most amount of time that you need - I really am. There's just something that I need to know. Have you had any weird dreams as of late?" The question, he knew, must have sounded completely absurd and insane, but he needed the answer and he needed it fast.

Her eyes shot up to his, showing him the confusion at his question there, but she slowly nodded her head. "Yes Javan, I have." She didn?t know where he was going with this but she had decided she was going to be completely honest with him, even if it killed her; he deserved the truth from her.

"Was I involved in any of them?" His foot slowly stepped into uncharted waters.

Blushing and looking back down to the floor to hide it, she spoke softly, "Yes Javan, you were in them all."

It hit him like a brick, but he struggled to stay in control. He sat down in one of her chairs - it was rather comfortable to his surprise - and he pulled the counselor down into the one next to his. Javan ran a caressing hand over hers and he looked into her eyes. The deep blue ponds of perfection gazed brightly into his and he almost found himself blinded by their beauty. "Caine," Javan started again, "are you aware of Betazoid culture and physical conditions?"

Her brows wrinkled slightly, "A small bit, not much though. Why do you ask?" She was confused by Javan's sudden change in posture and attention to her.

Javan didn't know how to proceed. The description was complex and drawn out and he really didn't feel like going through and explaining it all to her. Though, given the circumstances, he figured that she had all the right in the world to know what he felt and how he had physically attached himself to her. After fighting with words, for the second time in the same conversation, Javan said the only thing that he could muster, "Imzadi."

Caine's eyebrows shot up and she stared into his eyes. "Imzadi?" she questioned. She had heard of this term and knew what it meant but she had never expected to hear it from Javan's mouth.

"The most intense bond between a Betazoid and another member of the same or different species. It's a degree of love that cannot be surpassed by any other. The first sign is being able to finish each others sentences even if there is no telepathic link, and the second involves dreaming concurrent dreams." Javan's eyes lingered in hers for a while before turning away, "they say that once one has found his or her Imzadi that that person won't find a better match for him or her ever again."

Not knowing what to say, Caine did the only thing she could think of to do. She let go of Javan's hand touched his cheek. Turning his head back to him, she stared into his eyes, she wanted to tell him so much but was so afraid to, and instead she leaned forward and lightly pressed her lips to his. Pulling away she looked at him and lightly licked her lips, she waited for his reaction, scared yet excited about what might happen.

"This isn't something that most people can blow past without thinking about it. It's the true love of your life and the person who you click with - match the most with. I think about you all the time and you're constantly in my thoughts whether I want you there or not." Javan ran a hand down her cheek as she had just done to him, "but I know that, in conjunction with normal love, a relationship can only be bettered and stand strong with honesty."

Fighting silently with herself, she slowly nodded her head. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and began to bite it lightly in thought. "I agree with you, honesty is the only way to have a strong and healthy relationship. It is a must." Caine wasn't sure if Javan wanted her story but she had decided that if he asked she would tell him all, he deserved to know.

"There are things..."

Caine nodded, "yes there are things and anything you want to know about me," she took a deep breath to calm herself and closed her eyes. "All you have to do is ask and I will tell you all."

Javan smirked, "No, it's not you. I have more skeletons in my closet then I can count or want to remember. They are things that make me who I am, but how they got there and became that way is not something I'm ready to discuss. I'm not sure, however, if I'm even capable of telling you them."

Standing, Caine moved in front of him. She didn't know if she was being to forward or not, but she figured that with all of this that had come out, she was allowed to be. She slowly sank onto Javan's lap and put her arms around his neck. "I will never force you to tell me anything about you, what you want me to know and what you feel you can tell me, you will. If you are never able to tell me about it all, I'll understand." She kissed him first on his forehead then softly on his lips again. "I will take what ever you give me and cherish it."

"What did I do to deserve you?"

Caine smiled lightly, "I should be asking you that question."

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