<USS Avalon> "Making a Move"

Making a Move
Lieutenant Commander Elissabeth Marksbury
and Junior Lieutenant Sussanna Jameson



Hardly half a dozen boxes scattered the floor of her old room. Anna surveyed 
her rather limited belongings with embarrassment. Elissabeth was supposed to be 
helping her move, but there was so little there, she certainly didn't need the 
extra hands. She didn't even own any furniture. Hearing someone knock on the 
already open doorway, she saw Lissi standing there smiling. Anna tried not to 
flinch at how tired she was looking. I did that too, she thought.

"Commander Manson got everything situated," she held up a PADD. "You ready to 
go?"

Looking around once more at the cramped little rooms and her roomy's awful 
taste, Anna nodded and hefted the first box. "Oh yeah, absolutely."

Elissabeth stepped over and picked up another one, following Anna out of the 
room. "I think you'll be pleased. Closer to Medical."

"Brilliant stuff. Do I get a view this time?" Following Lissi down the 
corridor, Anna realised just how heavy her box was.

 "I think so. I haven't been there to see." They arrived at Anna's new quarters 
and they were opened to reveal a standard room, but so much nicer than sharing 
one. It indeed had a viewport, small living area, and separate bedroom. Setting 
the box down on the table, Elissabeth slightly struggled to catch her breath, 
though she tried valiantly not to show it.

 Concern flickered across Anna's eyes but she turned to go into the bedroom to 
hide it. "Hey, nice view." Dumping her own box on the bed she did a quick turn. 
"Yeah, I like it."

"It has to be better than sharing quarters," Lissi replied, sitting down in the 
dining table chair.

 "You want something? Oooh, let me make you something in my new replicator!" 
Anna bounced over to it and started flicking through the menu.

 Elissabeth chuckled at Anna's excitement, finding it nice to be spending time 
with someone. It had been so incredibly lonely lately. She had friends, good 
friends, but she was missing something. 
 
James. She never imagined how empty she'd feel without him, and yet, knew that 
if they were together, it would be one argument after another and that trust 
would never, ever be there. It was a fruitless endeavor, but even knowing that, 
she still wanted him in her life.

In the meantime, though, she had been working with Anna, and feeling useful 
that she was doing someone else some good, making her feel better in turn. 
Elissabeth was pretty sure that Anna felt like she had no friends left. "Some 
water, please. Go ahead and show me your replicating prowess."

"Computer one pathetic glass of water, lightly chilled and a mochachino with 
whipped cream and a chocolate flake." The two drinks materialised, one plain 
and simple, the other ridiculously extravagant. "It's the only thing Lil got me 
into that I actually liked," Anna said in explanation.

 "Impressive and incredibly tempting," Lissi said, eyeing the chocolate one.

 Grinning, Anna knew she'd hooked Liss. She handed the coffee to her friend and 
took a nice long gulp of the water. "It's good, trust me."

 Surprised by how good it actually was, Lissi smiled and dabbed at the whipped 
cream left on her lip. "I don't even want to know how much time you have to 
spend in the gym after these.

"Years and years, I think." Dragging open the box Liss had brought in, Anna 
started pulling out her bits and pieces. "I need to go and get the rest of my 
stuff, you wanna stay here?"

"I can help," she replied and stood slowly.

 "Yeah, you could unpack these boxes for me, if you want."

"If that's what you'd rather."

 Anna shrugged, trying to cover her concern. "It's up to you, but lugging boxes 
is dull. This gives you the opportunity to rake around in my stuff and learn 
all the dirty secrets." Her laugh was a little forced but she hoped Liss 
wouldn't catch it.

 Turning to face her, Elissabeth asked with concern, "What's wrong, Anna? You 
sound...scared." Then quickly, the moment of near tenderness was gone and she 
added, "I'm sorry, that's not my place to say."

 "Your place? You are not only my superior officer, you're also the only friend 
I have left on this ship. Of course it's your place." Crossing to stand in 
front of her, Anna brushed a strand of Lissi's hair from her eyes. "You look so 
tired. I did this and I'm sorry. Please rest here."

 Elissabeth looked up into the younger girl's eyes. The strange depth of 
compassion just struck her and it nearly moved her to tears. Trying so hard not 
to be vulnerable, not to be seen through, she closed her eyes slowly, erasing 
the film that covered them. "You didn't do this," she whispered.

 Anna found herself reaching up to run her fingertips over Lissi's cheek and 
she leaned in close to touch their foreheads together. "I wish I could have 
thought of another way to bring you back. I die inside when I see what I've 
done to you."

 The contact startled her, but more than anything, the words angered her and 
she stepped back slightly. "Dammit, Anna, why can't you stop and realise just 
for one second that the only reason I'm alive is because of what you did!" That 
control was gone and once the first tear escaped, the others followed suit. "I 
can't for the life of me understand how you can be so confident one minute and 
think you're such a screw-up the next."

 "Elissabeth." She whispered it, barely making a sound. Anna increased the 
contact on Lissi's face, cupping her chin in both hands and feeling them slick 
with her tears. "I know I should rejoice that you live, when you could easily 
have died, but I still pray I can make you well. I wrack my mind for ways to 
help you and I am left with what has already been done. I just wish I could 
ease the tiredness, the fragility. Just once, I'd like to do some good."

"And that's what makes me so angry, Sussanna," she told her, placing her hands 
over Anna's, intending to move them. "You think fast on your feet, you do what 
has to be done regardless of consquences, and when it works you still see 
yourself as a failure."

 Entwining their fingers, Anna brought Lissi's hands up to her lips and kissed 
them softly. "I should be better than this. You make me better than this."

 Panic seized her belly. This was not where she intended this discussion to go, 
not at all. How was she supposed to react to something like that? Firmly, yes, 
but too strongly and she'd push away a person who felt as if they were 
drowning. Eyes a bit wider than normal, Elissabeth swallowed and said, "Anna... 
I don't think..."

 "Then don't." Anna leaned in and brought their lips together in a tender kiss. 
Elissabeth didn't respond to it, and Anna stepped back. The fear was obvious 
and she couldn't believe she hadn't seen it before. "Oh God."

 Elissabeth's mouth actually dropped open and she looked at Anna. She couldn't 
have been more suprised if Sierra had just declared undying love for her and 
proposed marriage on one knee. And she actually had to remind herself to 
breathe. "Anna, I'm sorry. I didn't mean, didn't think, didn't know," she 
managed to stutter out rather ungracefully.

 "I can't believe I did this." Anna backed away, almost into a corner. Her 
heart was thumping in her chest as she tried to work out how to save this. How 
do I save this? "How do I save this?"

"I'm so sorry," she repeated. "I didn't know."

 "Not your fault. I can't believe what a fool, a fucking idiot, I've been. I'm 
so sorry, sir. Please forgive me.

"Anna, please, would you lay off the 'sir' stuff? This isn't exactly a 'by the 
book' sort of situation, is it?" she asked, pushing back the hair that had 
fallen into her face.

 "But... but..." She looked into Lissi's eyes and saw the pity and compassion. 
"Elissabeth. I am so very sorry."

"It's... a perfectly normal reaction to reach out to the people your perceive 
to be the closest to you in time of severe stress. And you've had more than 
enough stress to deal with." She slowly stepped over to the sofa and sat down, 
feeling a little shaky. Lissi patted the seat next to her and invited Anna to 
sit. "I'm not upset or angry, okay? I'm just so incredibly surprised." And then 
she laughed a little, suddenly finding it funny that anyone could be attracted 
to her especially right now. What a mess, I?ve made. Why didn't I see it coming?

"I didn't mean to show you. I tried very hard not to." I feel like a child, a 
silly little girl. "I swear I never meant to ruin anything. I don't know what I 
was thinking."

"Anna, it's okay. I'm not upset. Just surprised, that's all." She took a deep 
breath and let it out slowly. "I'm surprised that anyone could look at me that 
way, much less you. We didn't exactly get off on the right foot... I just don't 
have those sort of feelings. I'm sorry."

 "It's okay, I should have read the signs better. I just needed to see..." Anna 
shrugged as she slipped into the seat next to Lissi. "I don't know, I just 
wanted to pretend someone might feel something... John did."

"Yes, he did. John adored you. And I do feel something... just not a romantic 
something."

"But you have, haven't you?" And then it clicked. "But not for me, for 
Lieutenant Monroe. You and he..."

 She just gave a solemn nod.

 "I've seen the way you two looked at each other. And in the simulation, the 
training session? He called out for you by name, familiar name. He loves you. 
Do you love him?"

"It's... complicated." Lissi smiled fondly, remembering. "James was the first 
person that I met on board, back when we were both junior grade lieutenants."

 "What was he like? I barely know him. Was he sweet and shy or bold and 
boisterous?"

 Elissabeth blushed slightly and dipped her head. "We were both... incredibly 
nervous." She laughed, remembering that first encounter and how they both 
babbled, unable to take their eyes off each other. "It was a definite physical 
attraction."

Anna grinned. "You knew straight away? That you were attracted to each other?"

"I can't believe I'm telling you this," she grinned in return. "Yeah... I mean, 
have you stopped to look at the man?" Letting out a quick breath, Lissi 
realised how inappropriate all of this was, but suddenly didn't care. It felt 
good to talk and she never saw it coming.

 "Sometimes I wish I could do that. Just trust my feelings and fall for 
someone. How long have you been together?"

"Off and on for awhile... but we're not together anymore."

"Why not?"

"Anna, that's getting a little too personal."

 "I just think the way you looked at each other..." Anna suddenly felt wistful 
but chose not to push it any further. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry."

"Yeah," she agreed with a faraway look in her eye. "Unfortunately, some things 
only belong in fairyland. James and I are one of those things."

 The grief of Lissi's voice made Anna's chest hurt and she longed to reach out 
and make it all better, but knew that would be crossing the line Lissi had put 
up clearly between them. "I'm very sorry to hear that."

 Elissabeth smiled at her. "Don't be. It's just the way things worked out. But 
thank you. I think I needed to hear it outloud to really believe it myself."

 "Any time." A little bitterness crept into her voice as she rose. "I guess I 
ought to go get the rest of my stuff."

 Elissabeth wanted to fix it, to make the hurt go away, but it just wasn't 
possible. It would have to be something Anna would work through on her own. And 
in the meantime, she hoped the delicate balance between the two women would 
stabalise and they could move on with their lives. Both of them. 

                
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