<USS Avalon> Lunch . . . With a Twist - Cazook/Erridim

(Follow-up to "Sleeping Doctor Awakes")

"Lunch With a Twist"
by
Doctor Alexis Cazook, AMO, /USS Avalon/
Talea Erridim, Chief/Ops, /USS Avalon/
Sickbay, psionically-shielded room
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Having kept her word (partially due to the timer, partially by her own initiative) for the entire period, Talea saved, then closed the document temporarily at just prior to noon, pleased at the progress she'd made; the data, which had been over a hundred pages, was now almost at the goal of 10% of the original total. With a sense of real accomplishment, she backed away from the computer and sat at the table, awaiting the doctor's pleasure.

She was determined to get help with the issue of her fear of men, and yet, she was uncertain the doctor could adequately handle the terrible things she was going to discover. Time would, however, tell. She had to trust that the doctor knew what she was talking about.

Engrossed in her own work, Alexis felt her stomach rumbling. She then remembered she had a luncheon date. Putting aside her work, she walked over to the replicator and ordered up two lunches. They both consisted of grilled chicken with cheese, lettuce, mayonnaise and tomato on a long white bread bun. Along with the sandwich was some potatoes in the form of french fries and for dessert, good old-fashioned apple pie. She hopefully had made them so that they would not affect Talea negatively.

With trays in hand, she walked over to Talea's room and rang the buzzer. "Talea, it is Alexis, and I have brought lunch. Unless, of course, you are not hungry, in which case you can watch me eat."

Talea opened her eyes at the chime, sat straighter, chuckled at the statement, then stated, "Be welcome, Doctor Cazook." In response to her words, the door slid aside, revealing the doctor with the trays. "As I have promised, so have I done. The work progresses well; I am almost four-fifths done with the data reduction." On seeing the foods, Talea smiled slightly. "It seems we know one another's likes pretty well." While she wasn't keen on mayonnaise, preferring a hearty mustard instead, certain foods did go better with it. She decided to not make a fool of herself, but try this. After all, Alexis had tried and liked her breakfast choice, not being aware that it was the Regellian equivalents to the foods she was familiar with!

She decided, after the first taste of the beverage provided, to plunge right into the topic of her fear of men, meeting it head-on. "Doctor, I need help, as you well know, with my fear of men. There are those who have the mistaken idea that any woman who is afraid of men hates them, but that is simply not the case. Fear does not necessarily lead to hatred." She swallowed, suddenly uneasy, but won past, continuing. "In my case, most, if not all of my problems have been caused by my blood kin, and that just exacerbates the resulting trauma, for one does tend to believe one's own kin would love and cherish you. In the case of my Clan, that never has been the case, unless you were male." She closed her eyes for a moment, struggling to defeat the demons that were rising at her very indirect mention of the horrors she'd endured as a child and young adult.

"As an eight-year-old, I tried to defend a friend of mine as two of my cousins took the opportunity provided by her having gotten into a fight to attempt raping her. I succeeded in doing so, but both of us wound up in hospital as a direct result. The cousins also landed in hospital, but that was scant relief to me, since I knew, even then, that men and boys were given much better medical care."

She took a bite of the sandwich and commented, "This is excellent."

After taking a quick sip of the drink to clear her throat, she resumed the narrative. "At the age of nine, one of my cousins attempted to rape me, but failed when two even meaner boys beat him off me. Apparently, I was desirable to them as well, for a reason I still do not comprehend, for I was very modest, not very pretty at the time, and kept to myself as best I could, save when I had to help defend another." She shook her head. "Girls and women defending one another was common; we knew we could not depend on men to defend us until or unless we married, and even then, if the husband was the attacker, there would be no other men defending us from the evil, although husbands would sometimes die attempting to defend their wives and families."

Talea took another bite of the sandwich and chewed slowly, trying to keep her courage up. This was harder than she'd dreamed, since it brought other memories to bear, memories that still hurt, even over a decade after they happened by Terran reckoning.

After taking another sip of her drink, she resumed with, "At age ten, I was given a very special tree by my mother. The tree was of a rare type known as a nymph oak. It would be the subject of another trauma in my life four years later, due to the arrogance of two of my brothers." She took another bite and swallowed, then sipped the drink once more before resuming. "At that time, the tree was growing well, and was several meters tall." At the mere mention, her throat tightened, and she could no longer continue. Her face showed her grief, even though she was gamely struggling to not show any emotion during the recital.

Finally regaining some semblance of control, Talea whispered, "I arrived home from school to discover the tree had been yanked out of the ground by my brothers and was dying. While they were later punished severely for the stunt, Father was secretly amused at them, not angry with them, even though the destruction of a nymph oak is a crime akin to murder." She sipped her drink, then said, "The reason is simple: The trees engender something that is sentient, although this is not true for over a decade." She looked directly at Doctor Cazook and said matter-of-factly, without rancor or accusation, "I can tell you think I am making this up, that I am lying. Most Terrans do." She went on to explain. "It appears that at one time, Earth had nymph oaks as well, from the stories told there even to this day of nymphs. Interestingly, the descriptions in those stories echo almost precisely what nymph oaks on Regelis produce. Normal oak trees they are not, even though they also produce acorns. Had the tree not used the last of its life-energy to produce a few of those, I would be forever disgraced, for I failed utterly as a guardian."

The anger she still felt toward her brother for the next act she was to relate helped bolster her. "At the age of sixteen, I was taking a shower, but this time, it was far different from any other time before or since, because one of my brothers attempted to rape me during the shower. Somehow, I fought him off successfully before he did any real damage. That was the last time I was able to take a shower without physical agony until your skill enabled me to enjoy it again, for which I thank you most profusely, Alexis. My father, enraged at me for what he called lying, although I reported the incident with enough detail that he knew which of his sons it was, whipped me so brutally that I was in hospital for several weeks, and came close to dying. My brother's punishment was nearly as brutal, although part of his was a mandatory jail sentence, and we in the Exiled Clans do not allow prisoners to simply sit in their cells for nine hours of every ten; we put them to work doing things that are necessary, but often too dangerous for non-convicts to do, in addition to them growing their own food. Is this ethical? Perhaps not, but it is very effective as a deterrent." She lapsed into silence, eating neatly, but internally quailing at the likely reaction to her revelations and implied rebuke of the other.

Alexis had been listening intently to Talea. What she was hearing was appalling. So much so she was at a loss for words. When Talea accused her of thinking she was lying, Alexis became upset. "Talea, I do not think you are lying. I don't care what other people may think." She paused for a moment to gather her thoughts. "I thought you knew me better than that. I have no doubt of the suffering you endured. This was evidenced by the scarring I saw when you first arrived in Sickbay. I just don't know what to say. There are no words to express my revulsion at what you have gone through. I am amazed you managed to survive, and for that I am grateful."

Taking a sip of her drink, Alexis continued. "I don't know anyone who has gone through what you have and still has a positive attitude. It is not uncommon for you to distrust men when you have gone through such horrendous acts against you. You are not to blame for any of this. You have to realize you were a victim. You did nothing to deserve such treatment. The first step in your recovery is for you to realize and accept that. You are not to blame." Speechless for the moment, Alexis continued to listen to Talea's story.

Talea nodded, then shakily resumed with, "Apologies, but you must admit that the mention of something that seems mythological is somewhat unbelievable, even if I do have proof of my claim in my quarters." She smiled slightly. "And yes, I've recognized many moons ago that I was a victim, not the cause." Her eyes, however, had tears in them, as Alexis had been angered more by her experiences than the apparent accusation, as far as she could tell. "At the age I was supposed to by law, I reported to Regellian Space Academy, having obtained an invitation at great cost. The day I left my home, more than one person called me insane, and someone actually called the mental-health authorities to have me committed, for they did attempt to stop me, until one of them realized I was quite sane and not mentally deranged as they had been informed." She smiled, but this time, it wasn't pretty. "The person who tried to get me committed was arrested and is probably still doing sentence."

She then stated, "As I entered RSA at the age of eighteen years Terran, I made a resolution to break all ties with my Clan the moment I could safely do so, but realized I would need a Lifemate to do so. I have no idea how to find one, for amongst the Exiled Clans such as the one I was born into, marriages have nothing to do with congruency, and everything to do with conquest or the attempt to prevent same. I was and remain tired of the constant violence and strife of my childhood and wish to help my fellow clanswomen escape it as well, but I wonder if I'm already too late." Her face crumpled then as her control broke and she began crying in great, wracking sobs, as this fear was elemental and not addressable by any means that she was aware of. She, in fact, wondered how her decision to cut all ties with the Clan could help anyone except herself, and wondered if this was just a means to save herself at the expense of the other women in her Clan.

Feeling Talea's pain, Alexis stood and walked over to her. She reached up, put her arms around Talea and pulled her close. She could feel her body shaking uncontrollably against her own. Hearing Talea's tale angered Alexis more than anything she had faced before. She couldn't understand how anyone could do such things to their own daughter. Or to allow others to do these things.

Holding Talea, Alexis felt her own tears burning down her face. She gently leaned her head against Talea's and softly whispered, "Talea, you are safe here. I believe you and will do whatever needs to be done to help you. No one is going to do these things to you again. Please believe me."

Talea hiccuped, nearly laughed, then stated, "Too right. The last time someone tried to take advantage of me, I kicked his sorry butt, and I'd do it again if it became necessary. The problem is that defending my honor caused a flashback from the very deepest Pit, and I nearly went catatonic because of it." She looked over at the doctor. "As you know, for you saw me in my quarters." She was calming slowly, but had heard the sincerity of Alexis' words on both levels. "I am far away from those fools in my Clan, and who knows but that they have not finally come to justice? Too many centuries have they and their ilk ruled the Exiled Clans, preventing what the High King would wish to have happen, which is reintegration of the Clans into the mainstream of society. Sadly, our genetic diversity is so low that I fear that my defection has or will doom the Clan to extinction, especially given their blindness toward crimes against women."

Sitting back down, Alexis looked at Talea. "I can understand your concern for the other women in your clan. It is very noble of you. However, I think your main concern should be /your/ health and welfare. There is nothing you can do at this particular moment to help those in your clan. My main concern is for you and your health." Taking a bite of her sandwich, followed by a sip of her drink, Alexis paused. "Talea, you need to quit focusing so much on your clan and spend more time thinking about you. I know it is hard to think that way and it may take awhile."

Talea nodded. "Aye, it is, but I shall make every effort to do so, despite the fact I feel I have both betrayed and failed the female members of all the Exiled Clans. Why? The Erridim are the premier Clan of the six, holding the most prestige. Where they lead, the other five Clans follow, although not as much of late, I expect. Then again, all six of the Exiled Clans may well be on the verge of extinction due to collective stupidity." She knew this was a harsh thing to say, but it was blindingly true. She then polished off her sandwich and the last of the fried potatoes before taking a final, deep swig from her drink, emptying it.

Sighing, Alexis didn't know what to say. It seemed to her that despite her protests of wanting to get better, Talea was in fact making a martyr of herself. This troubled Alexis. How could she help her if Talea insisted on taking the blame for everything that had happened in her past? She finished her drink, pushing her sandwich to the side. It seemed she wasn't at all hungry.

Talea sighed. "Alexis, it is merely that I am one of the few of my Clan who is willing to take true responsibility for the power we wield within the Exiled Clans. But even I, as stubborn as I am, have understood my limits and have cut my losses." She lifted a clear box out of her effects and floated it over to them. "See this?" She pointed to the fragile ceramic piece inside the box. "This is my Clan's name, written in Regellian. As you can tell, it resembles Terran Oriental pictograph writing. There is a very specific reason this was made the month after I entered RSA: to be broken at my eventual wedding, showing to one and all that I renounce my Clan, although the craftsman who made this had no idea of my intent." She had tears in her eyes. "This is no easy thing, to give up, but in this case, it is needful, lest my Clan die forever." She shook her head. "I suppose that Clans throughout our long and sad history have been disbanded by such means. And no, I'm not a martyr." She chuckled. "I'm not that pure of motivation. I do cherish my life, you know."

She stood. "I thank you very much for your assistance, Alexis. Without it, I would probably be eventually lost." She picked up her tray and carried it to the replicator in the room. Putting it inside, she turned back to Alexis and hugged her back, whispering to her, "You are precious to me. You are wiser than my mother and braver than you know. Thank you."

"I am honored, Talea. It means a great deal coming from you. I have never considered myself wise or brave, for that matter. How do you feel about returning to work?" Alexis was rightly concerned, but she also realized that Talea needed to do her job and at the same time, get over her fear of men. The more time she spent on the job around non-threatening men, perhaps the more comfortable she would become.

Talea smiled gently. "Perhaps it would do me good to be productive, Alexis. It is not a Regellian's typical makeup to be idle, I'm afraid." She chuckled. "Of course, I still need to finish the work of whittling down that report, and that's only half-done at present. I shall continue to follow the same procedure as before, resting every half-hour for five minutes, then, with your permission, report to work next Alpha Shift."

Alexis nodded to this plan before commenting, "If, after your duty shift is over, you feel the need to talk, you are more than welcome to come back here. I am always available to you, Talea. Even after hours. If you don't feel comfortable coming to Sickbay, you may return to your quarters, and we can always talk there. I am going to leave the comfort level up to you." Standing, Alexis looked at Talea and smiled. "You have made a great deal of progress today and I am so proud of you. Someday soon, I think that you shall be able to spread your wings and fly. I am afraid I must return to work. You may stay here, or return to your quarters. The choice is yours." Giving Talea a quick hug, Alexis turned and made her way back out into the main sickbay, while Talea resumed work on her report.

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