<USS Avalon> Lunch . . . With a Twist - Cazook/Erridim
- From: Raymond Danner <rdanner3@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: avalon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Wed, 10 Oct 2007 20:25:09 -0500
(Follow-up to "Sleeping Doctor Awakes")
"Lunch With a Twist"
by
Doctor Alexis Cazook, AMO, /USS Avalon/
Talea Erridim, Chief/Ops, /USS Avalon/
Sickbay, psionically-shielded room
-------
Having kept her word (partially due to the timer, partially by her own
initiative) for the entire period, Talea saved, then closed the document
temporarily at just prior to noon, pleased at the progress she'd made;
the data, which had been over a hundred pages, was now almost at the
goal of 10% of the original total. With a sense of real accomplishment,
she backed away from the computer and sat at the table, awaiting the
doctor's pleasure.
She was determined to get help with the issue of her fear of men, and
yet, she was uncertain the doctor could adequately handle the terrible
things she was going to discover. Time would, however, tell. She had
to trust that the doctor knew what she was talking about.
Engrossed in her own work, Alexis felt her stomach rumbling. She then
remembered she had a luncheon date. Putting aside her work, she walked
over to the replicator and ordered up two lunches. They both consisted
of grilled chicken with cheese, lettuce, mayonnaise and tomato on a long
white bread bun. Along with the sandwich was some potatoes in the form
of french fries and for dessert, good old-fashioned apple pie. She
hopefully had made them so that they would not affect Talea negatively.
With trays in hand, she walked over to Talea's room and rang the
buzzer. "Talea, it is Alexis, and I have brought lunch. Unless, of
course, you are not hungry, in which case you can watch me eat."
Talea opened her eyes at the chime, sat straighter, chuckled at the
statement, then stated, "Be welcome, Doctor Cazook." In response to her
words, the door slid aside, revealing the doctor with the trays. "As I
have promised, so have I done. The work progresses well; I am almost
four-fifths done with the data reduction." On seeing the foods, Talea
smiled slightly. "It seems we know one another's likes pretty well."
While she wasn't keen on mayonnaise, preferring a hearty mustard
instead, certain foods did go better with it. She decided to not make a
fool of herself, but try this. After all, Alexis had tried and liked
her breakfast choice, not being aware that it was the Regellian
equivalents to the foods she was familiar with!
She decided, after the first taste of the beverage provided, to plunge
right into the topic of her fear of men, meeting it head-on. "Doctor, I
need help, as you well know, with my fear of men. There are those who
have the mistaken idea that any woman who is afraid of men hates them,
but that is simply not the case. Fear does not necessarily lead to
hatred." She swallowed, suddenly uneasy, but won past, continuing. "In
my case, most, if not all of my problems have been caused by my blood
kin, and that just exacerbates the resulting trauma, for one does tend
to believe one's own kin would love and cherish you. In the case of my
Clan, that never has been the case, unless you were male." She closed
her eyes for a moment, struggling to defeat the demons that were rising
at her very indirect mention of the horrors she'd endured as a child and
young adult.
"As an eight-year-old, I tried to defend a friend of mine as two of my
cousins took the opportunity provided by her having gotten into a fight
to attempt raping her. I succeeded in doing so, but both of us wound up
in hospital as a direct result. The cousins also landed in hospital,
but that was scant relief to me, since I knew, even then, that men and
boys were given much better medical care."
She took a bite of the sandwich and commented, "This is excellent."
After taking a quick sip of the drink to clear her throat, she resumed
the narrative. "At the age of nine, one of my cousins attempted to rape
me, but failed when two even meaner boys beat him off me. Apparently, I
was desirable to them as well, for a reason I still do not comprehend,
for I was very modest, not very pretty at the time, and kept to myself
as best I could, save when I had to help defend another." She shook her
head. "Girls and women defending one another was common; we knew we
could not depend on men to defend us until or unless we married, and
even then, if the husband was the attacker, there would be no other men
defending us from the evil, although husbands would sometimes die
attempting to defend their wives and families."
Talea took another bite of the sandwich and chewed slowly, trying to
keep her courage up. This was harder than she'd dreamed, since it
brought other memories to bear, memories that still hurt, even over a
decade after they happened by Terran reckoning.
After taking another sip of her drink, she resumed with, "At age ten, I
was given a very special tree by my mother. The tree was of a rare type
known as a nymph oak. It would be the subject of another trauma in my
life four years later, due to the arrogance of two of my brothers." She
took another bite and swallowed, then sipped the drink once more before
resuming. "At that time, the tree was growing well, and was several
meters tall." At the mere mention, her throat tightened, and she could
no longer continue. Her face showed her grief, even though she was
gamely struggling to not show any emotion during the recital.
Finally regaining some semblance of control, Talea whispered, "I arrived
home from school to discover the tree had been yanked out of the ground
by my brothers and was dying. While they were later punished severely
for the stunt, Father was secretly amused at them, not angry with them,
even though the destruction of a nymph oak is a crime akin to murder."
She sipped her drink, then said, "The reason is simple: The trees
engender something that is sentient, although this is not true for over
a decade." She looked directly at Doctor Cazook and said
matter-of-factly, without rancor or accusation, "I can tell you think I
am making this up, that I am lying. Most Terrans do." She went on to
explain. "It appears that at one time, Earth had nymph oaks as well,
from the stories told there even to this day of nymphs. Interestingly,
the descriptions in those stories echo almost precisely what nymph oaks
on Regelis produce. Normal oak trees they are not, even though they
also produce acorns. Had the tree not used the last of its life-energy
to produce a few of those, I would be forever disgraced, for I failed
utterly as a guardian."
The anger she still felt toward her brother for the next act she was to
relate helped bolster her. "At the age of sixteen, I was taking a
shower, but this time, it was far different from any other time before
or since, because one of my brothers attempted to rape me during the
shower. Somehow, I fought him off successfully before he did any real
damage. That was the last time I was able to take a shower without
physical agony until your skill enabled me to enjoy it again, for which
I thank you most profusely, Alexis. My father, enraged at me for what
he called lying, although I reported the incident with enough detail
that he knew which of his sons it was, whipped me so brutally that I was
in hospital for several weeks, and came close to dying. My brother's
punishment was nearly as brutal, although part of his was a mandatory
jail sentence, and we in the Exiled Clans do not allow prisoners to
simply sit in their cells for nine hours of every ten; we put them to
work doing things that are necessary, but often too dangerous for
non-convicts to do, in addition to them growing their own food. Is this
ethical? Perhaps not, but it is very effective as a deterrent." She
lapsed into silence, eating neatly, but internally quailing at the
likely reaction to her revelations and implied rebuke of the other.
Alexis had been listening intently to Talea. What she was hearing was
appalling. So much so she was at a loss for words. When Talea accused
her of thinking she was lying, Alexis became upset. "Talea, I do not
think you are lying. I don't care what other people may think." She
paused for a moment to gather her thoughts. "I thought you knew me
better than that. I have no doubt of the suffering you endured. This
was evidenced by the scarring I saw when you first arrived in Sickbay.
I just don't know what to say. There are no words to express my
revulsion at what you have gone through. I am amazed you managed to
survive, and for that I am grateful."
Taking a sip of her drink, Alexis continued. "I don't know anyone who
has gone through what you have and still has a positive attitude. It is
not uncommon for you to distrust men when you have gone through such
horrendous acts against you. You are not to blame for any of this. You
have to realize you were a victim. You did nothing to deserve such
treatment. The first step in your recovery is for you to realize and
accept that. You are not to blame." Speechless for the moment, Alexis
continued to listen to Talea's story.
Talea nodded, then shakily resumed with, "Apologies, but you must admit
that the mention of something that seems mythological is somewhat
unbelievable, even if I do have proof of my claim in my quarters." She
smiled slightly. "And yes, I've recognized many moons ago that I was a
victim, not the cause." Her eyes, however, had tears in them, as Alexis
had been angered more by her experiences than the apparent accusation,
as far as she could tell. "At the age I was supposed to by law, I
reported to Regellian Space Academy, having obtained an invitation at
great cost. The day I left my home, more than one person called me
insane, and someone actually called the mental-health authorities to
have me committed, for they did attempt to stop me, until one of them
realized I was quite sane and not mentally deranged as they had been
informed." She smiled, but this time, it wasn't pretty. "The person
who tried to get me committed was arrested and is probably still doing
sentence."
She then stated, "As I entered RSA at the age of eighteen years Terran,
I made a resolution to break all ties with my Clan the moment I could
safely do so, but realized I would need a Lifemate to do so. I have no
idea how to find one, for amongst the Exiled Clans such as the one I was
born into, marriages have nothing to do with congruency, and everything
to do with conquest or the attempt to prevent same. I was and remain
tired of the constant violence and strife of my childhood and wish to
help my fellow clanswomen escape it as well, but I wonder if I'm already
too late." Her face crumpled then as her control broke and she began
crying in great, wracking sobs, as this fear was elemental and not
addressable by any means that she was aware of. She, in fact, wondered
how her decision to cut all ties with the Clan could help anyone except
herself, and wondered if this was just a means to save herself at the
expense of the other women in her Clan.
Feeling Talea's pain, Alexis stood and walked over to her. She reached
up, put her arms around Talea and pulled her close. She could feel her
body shaking uncontrollably against her own. Hearing Talea's tale
angered Alexis more than anything she had faced before. She couldn't
understand how anyone could do such things to their own daughter. Or to
allow others to do these things.
Holding Talea, Alexis felt her own tears burning down her face. She
gently leaned her head against Talea's and softly whispered, "Talea, you
are safe here. I believe you and will do whatever needs to be done to
help you. No one is going to do these things to you again. Please
believe me."
Talea hiccuped, nearly laughed, then stated, "Too right. The last time
someone tried to take advantage of me, I kicked his sorry butt, and I'd
do it again if it became necessary. The problem is that defending my
honor caused a flashback from the very deepest Pit, and I nearly went
catatonic because of it." She looked over at the doctor. "As you know,
for you saw me in my quarters." She was calming slowly, but had heard
the sincerity of Alexis' words on both levels. "I am far away from
those fools in my Clan, and who knows but that they have not finally
come to justice? Too many centuries have they and their ilk ruled the
Exiled Clans, preventing what the High King would wish to have happen,
which is reintegration of the Clans into the mainstream of society.
Sadly, our genetic diversity is so low that I fear that my defection has
or will doom the Clan to extinction, especially given their blindness
toward crimes against women."
Sitting back down, Alexis looked at Talea. "I can understand your
concern for the other women in your clan. It is very noble of you.
However, I think your main concern should be /your/ health and welfare.
There is nothing you can do at this particular moment to help those in
your clan. My main concern is for you and your health." Taking a bite
of her sandwich, followed by a sip of her drink, Alexis paused. "Talea,
you need to quit focusing so much on your clan and spend more time
thinking about you. I know it is hard to think that way and it may take
awhile."
Talea nodded. "Aye, it is, but I shall make every effort to do so,
despite the fact I feel I have both betrayed and failed the female
members of all the Exiled Clans. Why? The Erridim are the premier Clan
of the six, holding the most prestige. Where they lead, the other five
Clans follow, although not as much of late, I expect. Then again, all
six of the Exiled Clans may well be on the verge of extinction due to
collective stupidity." She knew this was a harsh thing to say, but it
was blindingly true. She then polished off her sandwich and the last of
the fried potatoes before taking a final, deep swig from her drink,
emptying it.
Sighing, Alexis didn't know what to say. It seemed to her that despite
her protests of wanting to get better, Talea was in fact making a martyr
of herself. This troubled Alexis. How could she help her if Talea
insisted on taking the blame for everything that had happened in her
past? She finished her drink, pushing her sandwich to the side. It
seemed she wasn't at all hungry.
Talea sighed. "Alexis, it is merely that I am one of the few of my Clan
who is willing to take true responsibility for the power we wield within
the Exiled Clans. But even I, as stubborn as I am, have understood my
limits and have cut my losses." She lifted a clear box out of her
effects and floated it over to them. "See this?" She pointed to the
fragile ceramic piece inside the box. "This is my Clan's name, written
in Regellian. As you can tell, it resembles Terran Oriental pictograph
writing. There is a very specific reason this was made the month after
I entered RSA: to be broken at my eventual wedding, showing to one and
all that I renounce my Clan, although the craftsman who made this had no
idea of my intent." She had tears in her eyes. "This is no easy thing,
to give up, but in this case, it is needful, lest my Clan die forever."
She shook her head. "I suppose that Clans throughout our long and sad
history have been disbanded by such means. And no, I'm not a martyr."
She chuckled. "I'm not that pure of motivation. I do cherish my life,
you know."
She stood. "I thank you very much for your assistance, Alexis. Without
it, I would probably be eventually lost." She picked up her tray and
carried it to the replicator in the room. Putting it inside, she turned
back to Alexis and hugged her back, whispering to her, "You are precious
to me. You are wiser than my mother and braver than you know. Thank you."
"I am honored, Talea. It means a great deal coming from you. I have
never considered myself wise or brave, for that matter. How do you feel
about returning to work?" Alexis was rightly concerned, but she also
realized that Talea needed to do her job and at the same time, get over
her fear of men. The more time she spent on the job around
non-threatening men, perhaps the more comfortable she would become.
Talea smiled gently. "Perhaps it would do me good to be productive,
Alexis. It is not a Regellian's typical makeup to be idle, I'm
afraid." She chuckled. "Of course, I still need to finish the work of
whittling down that report, and that's only half-done at present. I
shall continue to follow the same procedure as before, resting every
half-hour for five minutes, then, with your permission, report to work
next Alpha Shift."
Alexis nodded to this plan before commenting, "If, after your duty shift
is over, you feel the need to talk, you are more than welcome to come
back here. I am always available to you, Talea. Even after hours. If
you don't feel comfortable coming to Sickbay, you may return to your
quarters, and we can always talk there. I am going to leave the comfort
level up to you." Standing, Alexis looked at Talea and smiled. "You
have made a great deal of progress today and I am so proud of you.
Someday soon, I think that you shall be able to spread your wings and
fly. I am afraid I must return to work. You may stay here, or return to
your quarters. The choice is yours." Giving Talea a quick hug, Alexis
turned and made her way back out into the main sickbay, while Talea
resumed work on her report.
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